Quickie Mart Cupid
by prettykittyartist
Summary: Quickie Marts, flat tires, expensive suits, gangster rap, g-strings and velvet roses. Valentines' Day wasn't going as planned.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**AN: **This is a lil something I wrote for my corner girls… most specifically, my sissy-la-la corner girls I wanted to write them something a little fluffy and fun since they are fluffy girls I love you guys, a million kitties with pink sparkle collars. You make me smile and laugh and I am so blessed to call you my friends XO

So, this is dedicated to: Laurel, Cecile, Brenda, Sarah, Jodi, Erin, Beth, Megan, Noelle, Kat, Jennifer, Irene, Ana, and Carla. Here's a little fluff for you—especially you girlies that can't read my angst (You know who you are) I hope you like it.

THIS IS UNBETA'D… seriously, this is a mess, but it's all for fun and it's from my heart. I will have it beta'd and repost later

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><p>Chapter 1:<p>

"So… Kate Denali," my brother said, whistling through his teeth. "I still don't know how you pulled that shit off."

I splashed on some aftershave and smiled at my reflection in the mirror. I knew exactly how I pulled it off. I was pretty.

"She couldn't resist me, bro, you know how it is. She was playing hard to get."

He laughed. "Really? For how many years? I think you just wore her down, or Mom paid her to give you a pity date."

Honestly, I didn't really care what her reasons were. The fact was that I finally had a date with Kate Denali and I wasn't going to listen to my stupid brother.

I'd had a thing for Kate for as long as I could remember. She was perfect; beautiful, smart, funny, and sexy as hell. She had a great body, long luscious blonde hair and the fact that she pretty much ignored me for most of my life just made me want her more.

We reconnected at my parent's holiday party. I'd brought a date, but she was long forgotten once Kate started flirting with me. I couldn't believe my luck. She dragged me underneath the mistletoe, and I knew I had her in my trap.

I made a big deal about spending Valentines' Day together. I knew girls loved that stuff, all the romance and flowers and shit, so I wanted to make sure I had her just where I wanted her. She wouldn't know what hit her, but once she figured it out, she'd be mine.

I was taking her out to dinner in one of the nicer restaurants in the area—which wasn't saying much. I would have much rather taken her somewhere in the city where I could really impress her, but she had obligations closer to home, so I had to improvise. Thankfully, my parent's had the perfect solution.

Their cabin.

I put the finishing touches to my ensemble, and grabbed my keys from the countertop. "Have a good night by yourself, loser," I called to Emmett over my shoulder.

"Be sure you wrap it up, sport. Dad will kick your ass if your ass if you knock up his partner's daughter."

I laughed, and then patted my jacket pocket—just to be sure.

My dad would kick my ass—I'd kick my ass. I may have wanted to fuck her, but I didn't want to marry her, and there was no doubt that my father would make me do just that if I was stupid enough to get her pregnant.

I sped away from the house, eager to get to the cabin and get it set up before I went to pick up Kate. It was only about a half an hour away from her house, and completely secluded. We'd be alone without any disruptions for twenty-four solid hours.

The things I was going to do to that girl in the span of a few hours…

I couldn't wait to peel away the sexy, over-priced dress that she'd most likely be wearing, and hopefully discover a naughty pair of lace panties and matching bra. She was that kind of chic—expensive lingerie and pretty packages.

I turned up the radio and floored it when I reached the highway. I couldn't wait another minute to get to the cabin. The closer I got… the closer to getting my hands on Kate.

But, then, I heard it. The clack, clack, clack sounds coming from my car. I let up on the gas and slowed down, realizing that I had a flat tire. I pulled over to the shoulder of the road and got out to take a look.

Sure enough, I'd run over something and my tire was trashed. Slashed. Whatever. The damn thing was fucking flat and I was going to be late.

I pulled out my phone and growled when I saw that I had zero service. None. Zilch. What did I expect? I was in the middle of Butt Fuck Forest. I kicked at the car; like it was going to do a damn bit of difference, and leaned my head against the door jamb.

"This is not happening right now," I said to myself, kicking the car once more for good measure.

I slammed the door shut and decided to walk until I found a gas station, or something, somewhere I could use a phone to call a tow truck to fix the flat, and to let Kate know I was on my way. She wasn't the type of chick to handle being stood up, and she made it clear more than once that she had back-up dates lined up if I didn't deliver.

Fuck my life.

Sideways.

I pulled my legs into a jog. I wasn't giving up a shot at Kate just because of a stinking flat tire. Edward Cullen didn't go down like that.

I'd gone about a mile or ten—it felt more like fifty—when I saw a big red building and an even bigger, brighter red sign.

_Quickie Mart_

I'd never been so happy to see a crappy convenience store in all my life. I quickened my jog into a full-blown run and rushed the place.

"Phone," I said quickly, out of breath and desperate.

I leaned down and held my hands against my knees as I tried to catch my breath and when I looked up, I found the place empty. Quiet. Weird. It was completely vacant, and I didn't see a phone in sight.

"What the fuck?" I cried, throwing my hands into my hair and pulling at the roots.

This was not… not happening to me.

I could hear music, so I followed the sound into the back of the store, to a half opened door. I pushed it open and nearly choked at what I found dancing around in the small stockroom.

She was ass and hips and long silky brown hair… and ass. An ass like I'd never seen in my life—full, soft, round, and the way she moved…

Holy shit.

"_Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks  
>Lick on these nuts and suck the dick<br>Get the fuck out after you're done  
>And I hope in my ride to make a quick run..."<em>

And then I saw it… the tiny strip of fabric that protested against the exposed skin above her waistline. There wasn't a man alive that wasn't turned on by the sight of a g-string, and just knowing that it was strapped to that ass… I felt like I was going to pass out.

I was seconds… milliseconds away from grabbing my junk when she turned around, her face flushed, eyes wide, and her tits… bobbing all over the place in the barely there tank top.

"What the hell?" she yelped, jumping back and slamming her hand on the radio, silencing it instantly. "What are you doing in here?"

I gulped, knowing that I had no freaking idea how to answer that question. In the back of my head I knew I had a reason for being there, but at that moment all I could think about were her boobies.

"I'm flat…" I blurted out.

Her eyes flittered down to my crotch and then back to my eyes. Her hands went on her hips and she cocked an eyebrow. "Not anymore. Enjoy the show, fancy pants?"

I nodded because I was an idiot. My brain was dysfunctional as all the blood had travelled down to my Johnson. "My car. I have a flat. I need a phone."

I spoke slowly, probably sounding like a complete freak, but I was mesmerized by the little tease of red sticking out from the top of her tank top, and the shiny orbs underneath. I'd never seen anything like it in my life, at least, not in person. She was almost too much woman to look at.

She was all over the fucking place.

It was hot… suddenly, I was on fire.

She sauntered over to me and I was lost. I felt like one of those bobble heads, my eyes were everywhere at once. When she moved, she _moved. _It was sensual and exotic and so freaking distracting.

She strolled past me, letting her arm brush against me as she did. I groaned at the contact, a brief, yet intense wave of lust rushed through me as our skin touched.

I followed behind her, completely under the spell of her hips as they swayed back and forth as she walked. The jeans she had on were so tight that I was surprised she could even breathe. I wasn't complaining—the view was fantastic, but they definitely defied the laws of physics.

The white tank top she had on was practically transparent, and I memorized every inch of her bare shoulders and the red bra she wore underneath. She had some ink on her shoulder, a rose, I think, and some kind of writing running up the side of her arm.

I wanted to read it.

I really wanted to _lick_ it.

She hopped on the counter and pulled herself over the top, landing on her feet and flashing me a devious smile.

"So, Slick, where's your car?"

She leaned on the counter on her elbows, giving me a fantastic view of her bulging chest and winked. _Winked. _ The girl was killing me. As many girls as I'd met in my life, I'd never met anyone like her.

She made me nervous as hell.

"Down the road, I don't know… there weren't any signs."

She rolled her eyes, like I was an idiot, and shook her head. "Don't you have some navigation or somethin' in your fancy car? What are you doin' all the way out here, anyway? You look a little out of place, fancy pants."

That was not a lie. I was fucking lost. I felt like I'd landed on another planet, where sexy, scantily clad girls danced around in shitty Mini-Marts to Gangster rap and sang about sucking dick. In my world, I had to wine and dine girls to get the action, and suck and dick never came into the conversation. It may have happened… okay, it did happen, but I don't think one of them would have admitted to it.

I just shrugged. I had no answer for her. It wasn't like the GPS would do me any good when I couldn't drive the car. She was looking at me strangely, and it was unnerving. I just wanted a phone, a tow truck, and my non-scary date. I wanted to get the hell out of there, immediately.

"We have a pay-phone out back, but them damn kids stuff it full of gum, so you can't use it. You're gonna have to wait 'til Jake shows up. He'll get you a tow."

I felt my jaw slack and I shook my head slowly. "You don't… I don't… I can't… Fuck!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose and breathed heavily. "You don't understand. I have somewhere to be… someone…"

For some reason, I didn't want to tell her I had a date. It was stupid, but I just couldn't.

"Oooh, somebody has a hot date," she said, giggling. She was smacking on a piece of gum and it was starting to drive me insane, until I heard that laugh.

I looked at her again, really, really looked at her. I hadn't even bothered to see her—I was rendered stupid by the ass on her, and her boobs weren't helping—laying there on the counter like a filet mignon.

She had the brightest, brownest eyes I had ever seen—deep and dark, but light and alive. Her lashes were impossibly long, curling around her lids like a shield. Her skin was smooth, creamy and fair with adorable freckles scattered on her nose and cheeks. Her lips were full and pink, and she had a set of endearing dimples stamped into her cheeks when she smiled.

I really liked it when she smiled.

"Well, I did have a date, but I'm pretty sure I've fucked it up."

I was pissed—so many years I'd worked on Kate Denali, and a freaking flat tire ruined it. I didn't even want to think about what she'd do when she saw me again. No one screwed over Kate Denali. She got what she wanted—always.

"Well, I could give you a ride, you know, if you want. I get off in about ten minutes, and I could drop you off."

My brow furrowed. I looked back at her, and watched as she picked at her nails and swayed back and forth on her long, slender legs. Her tank top was flashing—like a huge billboard—two candy hearts, one on each boob, with the words, _Eat Me._

"Don't you have a hot date? I mean, it's Valentines' Day. You don't even know me. I don't want to ruin your night."

Even though I was desperate to get to Kate, to get a piece of ass that I'd lusted for since I was old enough to get a boner, I wasn't about to screw over someone else to get it. I'd sweet talk her somehow, and she'd give me another chance.

"No I don't have a date, okay! Just… do you want a damn ride or not? You can wait around for Jake for all I care!"

I stared at her in shock, surprised by her sudden hostility. I wanted the sexy flirty girl back; the crazy screaming girl was a little awkward.

"Whoa, I just asked. Sorry. I just didn't want you to waste your night. I'll figure it out."

She huffed and leaned her hip against the counter. "Don't mean I couldn't get a date, just so you know."

She kicked at a drawer under the counter and I watched as it slid open. It was full—I mean, full of brightly colored chocolate hearts. There must have been a hundred of them.

"Those are all for me. I've been gettin' them for a week. I don't even like chocolate, makes me all backed up, if you know what I mean. Stupid boys don't know jack shit about what a woman wants."

She kicked it shut, disgusted and leaned back against the counter.

She looked sad—disappointed. I didn't like it.

"Well, I'm sure they meant well," I said, shrugging my shoulders. I thought back to the two dozen pink and white roses I had in my car, and the five-hundred dollar bottle of champagne. I began to wonder if I had a clue about what I was doing. The girl was throwing me for a loop.

"Oh, don't get me wrong! I love all my boys, they know it. They just ain't Valentines' material. I believe in real romance, not some cardboard box. It's the thought that counts and all that jazz, I just ain't interested."

It made sense, and suddenly the spicy little wild girl from the back room morphed into a girl—just a girl, a pretty girl that wanted a boy to fall in love with.

It made me think about Kate. She would have been bragging to everyone about all the Valentines' she received, comparing and calculating her take. It was like every minute I spent with this girl, the less desirable Kate became.

But, I still had a date, and I wasn't about to spend Valentines' day alone. The chick was nice and all, but she was a hick, just some crazy girl with a fat ass and a body for sin. I'd fuck her, no doubt, but I wasn't sure I would let a shot at Kate go for it.

"Well, if you're sure, I guess I'll take a lift."

She smiled and nodded. "Jake should be here in a few, he's droppin' off Leah, and she's my replacement. We can use his radio to get you a tow, or he can fix your tire. If he doesn't have one that fits, I'll just take you where you need to go, and he'll hook you up later. He's good like that."

She had a warm smile on her face and I decided that I didn't like Jake. Something about that guy made her smile and for some reason, it made me frown.

I picked around at the items on the counter, and pulled a red, velvet rose from a tall cardboard vase. It was the last one, and I chuckled to myself, thinking about all the poor women that would likely receive one as a Valentines' gift. They were so tacky—the epitome of white trash, cheap bastard garbage.

"Seriously, these sell?" I asked, rolling it around in my hand.

She snagged it out of my hand, a hurt expression covering her face. "Of course they do, stupid! They're gorgeous. I always wanted one. It's the last one, so leave it alone. This one's mine."

I held my hands up in surrender. "Got it, shit. Why don't you put it away so you don't bite the heads off poor fuckers that don't know any better?"

She slipped it back in the cup and rolled her eyes. "You don't get it because you're just a stupid boy. I'm not explaining it to you, Jackass."

She was a moody one, and I wondered if they had contaminated water in the backwoods, redneck town. There was something off about her… she was unrealistically beautiful, almost too perfect, and yet, she was as flawed and fucked up as I'd ever seen someone be.

An enigma.

"What's your name, anyway? I can't be cartin' you around and not knowing if you're like, a creepy serial killer or something. Those guys always have pretty faces, you know, like they use their charms and smarmy smiles as bait."

I laughed. She was ridiculous—gorgeous and so fucking deliciously ridiculous.

"Edward. Edward Cullen."

She barked out a laugh and shook her head. "Of course it is. _Edward._"

I scoffed. She was making fun of my name… what the hell!

"And your name… you know strange things happen in these sleepy little Deliverance towns where there aren't any functional phones or cell phone reception. You could be some crazy bitch that lures attractive men back to their torture cottages and cuts them up into little pieces."

She gave me a sexy smile—the kind of smile that made me want to turn her around and bend her over that damn counter and rub myself all over her and her little red g-string. "You're kinda full of yourself, aren't you, Edward? I didn't say nuthin' about you being attractive. I said you looked like a serial killer. I think anybody that wears a suit outside of a funeral or a wedding is a weirdo."

I looked down at what I was wearing and I thought I looked pretty damn good. I knew I looked good. The suit was a gift from my parents for graduation, it was a fucking Armani. I looked sick.

"And what about you? Who wears a shirt that says Eat Me?"

She looked down at her top, and then poked—POKED, at the pink hearts that covered her tits. "It's Valentines' Day. I thought it was cute. They're candies, you know, like Sweet-Tarts. They're my favorites, the kind with the lil' sayings. I pick out the ones I like the best."

I blinked rapidly, trying to expel the vision of her fingers on her boobs and shook my head. "You're something else…" I trailed off, a little irritated that I still didn't know her name.

"I ain't telling you my name. You don't get to know me, fancy pants. You're on your way outta here and you'll forget all about me. If I tell you my name, you'll never forget me and it'll ruin your life."

But she was wrong. No matter what, I'd never forget her.

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><p><strong>END NOTE:<strong>

**HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY!**

**There will be more to come…**

**LOve you all with all of my heart :)**

**J'me**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT.**

**BE WARNED... THIS IS A POS. IT'S UNBETA'D AND ...it is what it is... all for fun.**

**Kitty V... this is for you my love! And to all my wonderful readers and friends-thank you for being amazing. Every day I'm blessed... like a hustler.**

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I was more than a little disappointed that I couldn't taunt a name out of her. Edward Cullen always got his way.

I always got my way and I always, always, got the girl. I couldn't believe that some small town chick was making me work so hard. I knew she was in to me, I could see it in her eyes. She wanted me. She also wanted to play hard to get and I just didn't have the time.

Not to mention that I had a piece of Grade A, top of the line ass waiting for me. I didn't need to lower myself to beg from some trailer park reject.

But, that all changed once I stepped into the truck—Jake's truck—wondering if I'd ever see her again, and knowing that I probably wouldn't. It bothered me. I didn't know why it bothered me so much, but it did.

"So, you try to tap that ass?"

I looked over at him and cringed. The guy had to have been at least six-foot-ten, and had hands the size of Frisbees. He had the most ridiculous hairdo I'd ever seen, like he was the love child of Joe Dirt and Hulk Hogan. That wasn't the worst part about the guy, though. The part that I was having a hard time with was the way he was dressed: No shirt, shants, and construction books with his socks pulled up to the knees.

He didn't have a shirt on, but he had time to wear socks?

It was like the whole town was stuck in some kind of time warp where 1982 came knocking and they invited it to stay for the winter.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I finally answered, inching myself closer to the door and further away from him. It was unnerving being that close to a half-naked stranger.

"You gay or something? That why you dress like that?" he asked in a disgusted tone.

"No! I'm not gay. Normal people dress this way. You're the one dressed like one of the village people."

He looked at me strangely, obviously not catching the reference. "I meant Bella."

A small smile tugged at my lips. Bella. Her name was Bella. I felt so triumphant knowing that little tidbit.

Bella with the booty.

"Everybody wants to get some of that action. I tried, but she didn't want me getting a baby up on her, since I'm her brother, so I just touched her boob for a minute."

My eyes popped out of my head in shock. "Come again… she's your sister? You tried to fuck your sister?"

He in turn gave me a look that clearly said, "duh." "Yeah, it was a while ago, but I might try again after Sam gets a shot at her."

It made me mad that he was talking about her that way. I didn't know why it made me mad, and I didn't really want to analyze it, but the fact that he tried to violate his own sister was enough for me to hate him. Ride or not, the guy was a freaking idiot.

"You know what? Let me out of the car. Now. You're a real sick fuck."

He slammed on the brakes and glared at me. "There ain't no need in name callin, now. What's your problem buddy?"

"Just find my damn car," I grumbled. The quicker I got to my car, the quicker I could go back to my life.

"Where'd you say you parked again?"

I sighed. "For the tenth time, I don't remember. Somewhere off the highway."

His jalopy of a truck sputtered and resisted his attempt to pick up speed. It was a death trap, one he considered to be some sort of prize.

Finally, after several agonizing minutes of him talking about Bella's finer points, the back of my car came into view.

"That's it," I said, pointing ahead of us at the obvious.

He slowed down and pulled up behind it. I jumped from the car in a hurry and almost chocked as I saw what sat before me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

My car—my beautiful silver baby—had been stripped bare.

Fucking stripped!

The doors, the tires, the rims, the seats, the radio… all of it. Gone.

Then, just because things weren't bad enough, I noticed the spray of loose rose petals on the floor boards.

They stole the fucking flowers, and the damn champagne!

Of course they did.

"Whoa, man… No wonder you broke down. You done lost yer tires!"

I turned around and snapped at him. "No shit, Sergeant smart one! Someone stole them, and everything else!"

He scrubbed his hand over his gritty chin. "Yup. Someone scored over here. What's that you're driving? Is that a foreign?"

I grabbed at the roots of my hair. "It's a Volvo!" I took another breath so that I wouldn't kill him. It wasn't his fault he was stupid. They must have had toxic water in their wells. "What the hell am I going to do now?"

"Welp. Guess I can tow it back to town. It'll take me a while to get parts to fix it, though."

I shook my head. God only knew what I'd end up with if he attempted to fix it. There was no way I was letting that guy near my car.

"Just get me to a phone. I'll get it towed to my house."

He shrugged. "Whatever. I can take you to my pad. We got a phone there."

I nodded, kicked at my car, and went back to the truck. I really wanted to punch something—or someone. I was shaking with anger and ready to come out of my skin.

It took us over a half hour to get back to his house. It was in the middle of nowhere and try as I might, I couldn't figure out where we were.

"Home Sweet Home," he sang.

It was hardly what I'd call a home, and it definitely wasn't sweet. It was a tattered old trailer, full of rust and lack of pain. There was one window boarded up, a screen door hanging halfway from the door jamb, and two giant dogs that looked like wolves chained up on the porch.

It was a shit hole.

A scary, nightmare shit hole.

"Come on in, phones in the kitchen."

I followed him in, carefully so that I didn't get my dick nipped off by one of the monsters on the porch, and maneuvered myself through the tiny space.

It looked like a swap meet had thrown up in there. There wasn't a spot in sight that wasn't decorated or empty. The bright floral curtains clashed with the worn brown plaid sofa, but matched the rose colored carpet.

There had to have been twenty or more vases, all shapes and colors, with gaudy arrangements of unnaturally colored fake flowers. There were candles everywhere, all half melted down and discolored, as well as piles of old TV guides, probably dating back before my birth.

In contrast to the overwhelming floral arrangements, there were at least half a dozen dead animals, mounted, stuffed and sitting around staring at me. There were ducks on the wall, mid flight with their wings spread, beady0eyed squirrels propped on their hind legs ready to pounce for a nut, and a bear skin rug, complete with claws and jaws.

A small, but big enough to make me piss my pants, fox, or coyote, was standing next to the sofa.

"Jesus Christ," I muttered through my teeth, sticking my hand out to touch one of the squirrels out of curiosity.

"Oh, we got plenty of him around here. Nay-Nay is a born again Christian."

I swung my head around and gave him a questioning look. "Dude, what are you talking about?"

I wondered briefly if I was even in America anymore. The guy spoke in riddles and gibberish constantly.

"Jesus. We have a lot of Jesus, look."

He pointed to a colorful and unnecessarily large crucifix. The poor Jesus was painted shimmery gold and was surrounded by big poufy flowers. His crucifix, well, that was purple.

It gave me the creeps.

Then I gave the room one more look and noticed that Jake was right, Jesus was kicking it everywhere. I said a little prayer, begging him to have my back and get me out of that place in one piece.

"So, phone. I need to get out of here."

Jake pointed at the kitchen and I saw a bubble gum pink phone hanging on the wall. The cord hung down to the floor and the numbers were the size of scrabble pieces.

1980 wanted its phone back.

I grabbed the phone and pounded my brother's number into it. First thing was first. I needed to rescue my car and then get rescued myself.

"Ellow," he slurred into the phone.

"Emmett! Thank God." I breathed a sigh of relief when I heard his voice. I couldn't wait to get out of there. "I need you to come pick me up."

He didn't say anything and I wondered briefly if he'd hung up. "Are you there? I need you to come get me!"

"What happened? Where are you? Kate's been calling for hours. She's pissed."

I groaned into the phone and pinched the bridge of my nose to relieve the throbbing pressure of my headache. I could hear Rosalie cackling in the background and I was sure she had plenty to say to me about ditching Kate. I had bigger issues.

I got a flat and there's no reception in this God forsaken town I broke down in. I need a ride. Can you drill me later?"

"Dude, I'm drunk. Call a tow truck or something. I can't drive," he said, sounding anything but sorry.

"You don't understand! I need you to come now! Get someone to come, anyone! Is Rose drunk, too?"

Even though Rosalie was my brother's girlfriend—practically a part of the family—there was no love lost between us. Even so, I didn't think she hated me enough to leave me out in the middle of nowhere.

"Nah, she's fine. We went out for Sushi and I got carried away with the Saki."

It didn't surprise me. As big as he was, he couldn't hold his liquor for shit.

"Put her on the phone, seriously… it's an emergency. You don't even understand."

He had the nerve to laugh, which only pissed me off even more. "I wouldn't bother now, Edward. Kate is thoroughly pissed. I'd be surprised if she spit on your grave. You're shit out of luck, my brother."

At that point, Kate was the least of my worries.

"Dude… they stripped my car! This town is full of freaks and I need to get out of here… now!"

He laughed… _laughed_ at me. "Okay, okay… give me the address."

I turned around to look for Jake and jumped when I my nose hit him directly in the chest. How he managed to sneak up behind me without me knowing was beyond me.

_Weird._

"What the hell, man?" I grumbled. "I need your address."

He rambled it off and I relayed it to Emmett. After a few moments, he replied. "Dude that address doesn't exist."

I scoffed. "Um… trust me. It does. I'm standing her in a giant beer can decorated like Liberace's vagina to prove it."

He mumbled something I couldn't understand and passed the phone to Rosalie. "Thank God! Rose, just punch it into your phone and it'll navigate it for you."

She sighed heavily, sounding irritated and bored. "You've really done it this time, loser. I already tried GPS, Google, MapQuest… the town isn't' showing up at all."

I was about to lose it. Legitimately my mind was fading out.

"This is so messed up," I groaned.

"Get a tow truck. That's the best advice I can give you."

I slammed the phone down and let out an anguished cry.

The night was fucked. My car was a disaster. I wasn't getting laid and I didn't even have any booze to drink so I could forget about it.

Not to mention that I was stranded in the middle of Dog Patch with the Beverly Hillbillies on steroids.

"I need air," I muttered as I pushed past Jake and stumbled outside.

If ever there was a time to take up smoking that would have been the moment.

Then, I heard it.

Her voice.

I followed the sound behind the house—trailer—whatever, where I found a camper shell from an old pickup truck propped up on a stack of cinder blocks.

I couldn't tell what it looked like since it was so dark, but I could see that it was a dump. Out of curiosity, I moved closer so I could listen to her talk.

Her voice was so sweet. Like hot syrupy sex.

I could see her silhouette through the light curtains in the tiny window, but felt weird about standing there staring at her, so I stood next to it with my back against the wall.

"Alice, you don't get it. You got Jake for a baby daddy and Jasper is like an old bloodhound on your ass. You don't know what it's like being alone on Valentines' day!"

She paused for a moment, obviously waiting for a response from the other person, and when she spoke again, my ears perked up.

"I thought he was gonna be like my dream come true, Alice. You didn't see him… he was so pretty and clean and he talked all grown up, but he still couldn't stop lookin' at my boobs! He looked like a starved dog just like the rest of 'em!"

I cringed. I didn't like being thrown into the same pile as a bunch of other guys. Not that she was wrong because I couldn't stop looking at her boobs. They were glorious.

"Well, don't matter anyway. I woulda liked to have kissed on him a little bit, but he's got a girl and he went to her. I bet he's real sweet to her and does all kinds of romantic things for her, just like I dreamed my man would do. Oh well… I guess I just gotta settle for one of these ol' vultures 'round here. I ain't spending Valentines' Day alone. The whole town'll be talking about me!"

My neck tingled with goosebumps. Just the thought of her hooking up with Jake—or anything resembling him made my stomach hurt. What was worse was that the girl wanted romance, love… the whole thing. The fact that she thought I was the type of guy that did those kinds of things caused guilt to back up in my gut. I was no better than every other guy—she was right.

And then I heard her sniffle.

"Stupid ol' Valentines' day is stupid and dumb anyway," she said to herself.

I heard a few more sniffles and knew that she was crying. I wasn't good with crying. I didn't do the sensitive guy thing. It wasn't my style, but, it was just unacceptable to me that a creature that beautiful was crying and lonely. I was going to do something about it.

I tapped gently on the window to get her attention, not really sure what the hell I was doing.

"Who's there?" she hollered. "Jake, you better get away from my house, or I swear I'll cut that pencil dick of yours clean off!"

Instinctively, I held my hand over my crotch. The mouth on that girl terrified me.

Strangely… it also made me hard.

After a minute of debating where I should run or knock again, the small plastic window was pushed open and the barrel of a gun was stabbing me in the forehead.

"Don't shoot! Holy shit!"

"Who are you, and what do you want?" she yelled from the other side of the gun.

I stuttered, not sure what she'd do when I announced it was me. After pawning me off on her _brother_ Jake, I figured that was a pretty good kiss off.

"Edward," I blurted out finally. "It's me, remember. From the store."

The barrel of the gun was quickly pulled inside and her perfect little face poked out. "What happened? What are you doin' here? I thought Jake was takin' you to your girlfriend?"

Her tone took me off guard. For some reason, I thought she might've been glad to see me again after hearing her conversation on the phone.

"I haven't gone yet. Someone vandalized my car so we came back so I could call my brother." I paused for a minute, waiting for her to answer. When I looked up, she looked sad.

"Listen… sorry I bothered you. I'll just… go. I'll have Jake drive me… somewhere. Um… see you later, Bella."

I turned to walk away and heard her gasp. "Damn Jake! That dirty ol' dog gave you my name didn't he? Well, you can't have it 'cause I didn't let you have it!"

My eyes narrowed with confusion. "That doesn't even make sense! I can't just forget your name."

"But you will!" she snapped. "You will forget it right now, Edward Cullen, you big know-it-all."

"Jesus fucking Christ. She's cookoo," I whispered to myself.

"I'm gonna… yeah. I'm out of here. Bye, B… um, weird girl."

I walked back around the front of the house and stopped in my tracks. There, standing in an arch around two guys wrestling on the ground, were about ten of the biggest guys I'd ever seen.

They were all at least, if not bigger, than Jake, all with similar cropped haircuts and all wearing cut off shorts and nothing else.

I'd walked into the hood of the hillbilly Crips.

It wasn't a scene I necessarily wanted to infiltrate, so I turned around and grudgingly went back to Bella's "house."

I knocked on the back door hatch and stood back when I heard a loud crash.

"Who the Sam hell is it now?"

"It's Edward," I cried. Hurry up!"

She swung it open and I stumbled backwards. It was like she fell out of heaven, perfectly molded into everything I'd always wanted but hadn't known to ask for. I'd never seen anything, or anyone, like her before. I was mystified.

Her hair was still as wild as before, but she had wiped her face of all the makeup she had on before. She looked fresh, younger, and even more beautiful.

But, what really caught my attention, not gonna lie, was what she was wearing, or wasn't wearing, rather.

Soft white tank top and little pink ruffled panties. I bet they were cheekies… I could almost guarantee it because in my head, they had to be.

I wanted them to be so, so bad.

"I want to come in," I stated. It was a demand. I wasn't taking no for an answer. I had to be with her.

"No. I don't know what you want, Fancy, but I got places to be. So do you." She spat the last statement out like it was a glob of Tabasco sauce on her tongue.

"What if I don't want to? What if I changed my mind?"

She stared at me for a beat and I was finding it more and more difficult to keep my eyes on her face. Her nipples were beckoning me to kiss them—all dark and pointy and pressed against her top.

"Well, I'd say that was too bad 'cause you ain't the one for me."

That hurt.

"How do you know? You don't even know me," I said defensively.

"Oh, I know you all right, and you can just forget it. I ain't no condolence prize."

My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "Do you mean _consolation _prize?"

"I ain't that neither."

I shook my head. "I honestly have no idea what you're talking about. I came back because I wanted to talk to you. That's it. Look… I don't want to upset you. I'm sorry, okay?"

She picked at her fingernails and twisted her feet. She looked like she was going to pee. "Kay… bye then. Have a nice Valentines' Day, Edward."

She went to shut the door in my face and I just couldn't let her do it.

"Bella… just… can I just hang out with you for a while?"

She looked thoughtful for a minute before nodding her head and standing aside for me to enter the camper. I let my eyes take in her space. It wasn't really a room—it was hardly big enough for both of us to be in it at the same time. There was a bed, covered with a soft lavender quilt and a heap of pillows and stuffed animals. A lamp was clamped to the side of a small table and next to it a dresser sat, covered in ceramic statues and costume jewelry.

"This is my room," she said. She sounded small, afraid. I really hated the way she sounded.

"I like purple," I blurted, not knowing what else to say. Inside, my stomach jumped when she smiled brightly.

"It's my favorite color."

I smiled back, feeling oddly happier than I could ever remember.

"You can sit if you want."

I nodded and took a seat on the lumpy old mattress.

"I know it ain't much, but I couldn't stand living with my mom in that house."

She turned her back to grab something off the dresser and I whimpered at the sight in front of me. When I say right in front of me, I mean… Right. In. Front. Of. Me. Directly in my face.

Cheekies. They were cheekies, and I felt like a fat kid surrounded by deep fried Oreos.

As if the view of her in her panties from the front wasn't bad enough… behind… holy shit. I was completely unprepared for what I saw. I couldn't get enough of that ass. I wanted to marry it, buy it diamonds and jewels and a huge castle on a hill.

I was motherfucking in love.

I wanted my name tattooed across it.

Cullen's ass.

Yeah… my ass.

It was full, but firm, soft enough to grab onto, but not flabby or dimpled. It was so smooth and supple. It bubbled out and curved under where it met the back of her legs, dipping out at the hips just a little bit.

It was delicious. Ripe, like a fresh plucked apple.

I was stuck on stupid and not paying attention when she bent at the waist to pen one of the dresser drawers, pressing that heart shaped ass right into my face.

Hea-Ven.

I was a good boy on Christmas, the kid with the gold star on my report card; I was the luckiest bastard alive.

I really wanted to sink my face into it further, but she was kind of hostile so I didn't want to press my luck. Realizing what she'd done, she shot upright and looked at me with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry!" she said quickly, turning an adorable shade of pink from her cheeks to her chest.

The sight of it stirred the butterflies in my stomach again and I stood up slowly, not letting my eyes leaver hers.

"I really want to kiss you right now."

She gasped, took a step backwards and bumped into the dresser. "No. Don't," she said in a panicked voice.

My eyes flickered over her porcelain face, at the long curly eyelashes that made her look like a little doll, to her slightly parted rosy lips.

I wasn't ready to back down—not sitting that close to her, smelling the sweet buttercream scent of her, and not when she looked at me that way.

"You'll kiss your brother, but you won't kiss me?"

She scrunched her nose and clucked her tongue. "What'd you say? My brother… I don't have a… Oh!" she snapped angrily. "Jake! He ain't my dang brother and he tricked me so that don't count neither!"

I blew out a long, harsh breath. "You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear that."

The relief rushed through me like a double shot of adrenaline.

"Stop lookin' at me that way," she whispered.

I looked at her, wondering what she was talking about. "Like what?" I asked, confused.

"Like… you see something."

She was so beautiful, standing there vulnerable and bare, scared of me, yet, I could see that she saw something in me, too. The switch had been flipped, simultaneously. There was a raw energy between us. It all clicked for me in that moment. I'd never trusted things like fate and destiny, but something brought me into the crazy girl's life, something pushed me toward this… what I needed… wanted… had to having have to breathe.

I stood and let my hand reach up to caress her cheek slowly, cautiously. She was skittish, like a stray cat trapped in a cage. I told myself I'd be careful with her… I told her the same with my eyes.

For the first time ever… it mattered.

"You're really beautiful," I said, honestly.

Her hand moved swiftly, catching mine and moving it away from her face. "You gotta go. My friend is gonna be here any minute."

My shoulders slumped. I was defeated, shot down by the crazy, quirky, sweet and oh, so sexy girl. I wasn't sure what was worse—having to leave her, or relying on Jake to get me out of there. Both choices were painful.

"I guess I'll just see you around." I gave her one more pleading look, but she kept her eyes trained on the floor.

I left the camper quietly—somewhere between totally confused and extremely sad, and went back to find Jake.

He wasn't hard to spot, even though he was surrounded by big, overgrown beasts. He had his arm around a short, chubby girl with stringy blonde hair. When he spotted me, he waved me over with a big smile—way too enthusiastically for the mood I was in.

"Come on over and have a beer, city boy," he yelled.

"Thanks," I mumbled as I approached, reaching for the cold can in his hand. "Hey, you think you can still give me a lift to my friend's house?"

He looked at his girl for a minute before looking back at me.

"No can do, buddy. Not tonight at least. How about you just stay tonight and I'll take you tomorrow. If you're worried about dippin' yer willy, don't you worry. There's plenty of tail 'round here."

I shuddered. I wasn't exactly concerned with that… and certainly not with anyone other than Bella. I had my eyes on the prize—the grand prize.

"Yeah… I'm good with that, I guess."

It wasn't like I had a choice.

"There's a party tonight, so we're leaving just as soon as Bella and Alice get their butts in gear."

"Why's that bitch taggin' along," Chubs asked from next to Jake.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Don't you call her that."

Jake gave me a funny look, but then smiled. "Oh, she means Alice, and she's not a bitch either. She's my baby mama."

The short, tank of a girl hauled off and smacked him. "So am I, Jacob Black, you no good bastard."

I watched with amusement as he leaned down and sweetly lifted her chin. "I didn't mean nothing by it, girl. She's my main girl, you know that. We got three kids already."

My eyes bugged out of my head. The guy couldn't have been much older than I was, if he was at all. I couldn't imagine being tied down with a shitload of kids.

"You have three kids?" I asked. The octave of my voice raised in a very un-manly way. I would have been embarrassed if I hadn't been in hysterics.

He smiled brightly. "Sure do. Four, actually. All girls, and two on the way." He flashed me his big white teeth, like he'd just announced that he'd found the cure for cancer.

I pointed at the butterball girl. "You're having twins?"

She twisted her mouth into a scowl. "Hell no! He knocked up both of us at the same time!"

A zing went through my spine. I was almost afraid to stand too close to him, like he was infested with toxic, contagious sperm.

Maybe there was something in the water…

"So… this chick Alice, she's having a fifth kid?"

I was still in shock.

"Nah, four. My other baby mama, Leah, has my fourth kid. She's only a year old."

"That's insane!" I cried.

I was horrified.

"Yeah, it is. Thought I'd never get her fixed with a baby. Took me forever, but it finally took. She thought she'd end up like Bella." He shrugged.

My ears perked up "Why? What's wrong with Bella?"

Maybe she couldn't have kids…

"She's the only girl on the rez without a kid. She won't let anyone give her one. We thought she was Lebanese for a while, but then Jared said she gave him some mouth, so… maybe not."

I was so confused. It was like watching the Muppets in another language. "Wait… Lebanese? Do you mean… _lesbian?"_

He snapped his fingers and smacked his hand against his thigh. "Yeah, lesbian. She's too picky… waiting on Prince Charming and all that fancy shit. Poems, flowers, holdin' hands and strolls and shit."

"She's just romantic, Jake. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. Bella's a dreamy girl, that's all. She's the sweetest one 'round here. None y'all dogs are good enough for her," Rollie pollie girl said.

I smiled at the girl. She was absolutely right. Bella was too good for them—for that whole place for that matter. I didn't even know her, but I felt it. I knew she was special—smart mouth, dangerous curves and all.

I shook my head to clear the confusion away. "So… Bella will be at this party tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah… but, buddy… I think you're wasting your time chasing after her," Jake warned.

I smiled, shoving my hands in my pockets and coming up with a plan in my head. "Well, that may be, but I have a feeling that there will never be a more worthy chase."

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you for reading... more to come!<strong>

**Mwah XO**

**J'me**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**AN: This is for people I love… **

**UNBETA'D … this is strictly for fun.**

* * *

><p><em>Sway… sway… shake<em>

_Drop… shake… shake…dip_

_Roll, hips… rolling…bouncing…_

"_Shake ya ass  
>watch ya self<br>Shake ya ass  
>Show me what you workin with<br>Shake ya ass  
>watch ya self<br>Shake ya ass  
>Show me what you workin with,"<em>

Standing in the middle of the parking lot of the Quickie-Mart, she swung those hips and shook that ass like she owned the place—and honestly, she did. No one could touch her beauty. No one could match the raw sexuality that dripped off her like honey. There was nothing like her anywhere.

I'd found a dark corner to sit in so I could watch Bella dance undisturbed. She continued to fascinate me with her sinful moves and her sexy little outfit. I almost lost my shit when she walked out to the truck in that get-up.

The dress was so short it was indecent, strapless and left nothing to the imagination, but the ruffles… holy fuck, the ruffles… they made it just innocent enough to make her look like every man's wet dream. Her hair was pulled up in a slick ponytail, the ends curled slightly and hanging down the middle of her back. Her makeup was back full force, with a bright bubblegum pink lip gloss that I wanted to suck off her face.

I was bummed that she seemed to be so annoyed with my presence, but I wasn't going to let it discourage me. I only wanted to talk to her—to see if there was anything there… something more. I could feel our attraction to each other like crazy, but I had the impression that she didn't like me enough to go through with anything.

I was willing to do almost anything to make her see me in a different light, though. I wanted to meet the challenge, so to speak.

I polished off the beer in my hand and jumped to my feet, ready to finally do… _something._

Little triggers continued to snap off in my brain as I wandered into the market—undetected by Bella. She was in her own little world—eyes closed, arms in the air, hips grinding… completely free and unguarded. You'd have thought she was in the middle of a swanky dance floor in a Manhattan nightclub instead of the deserted parking lot of the neighborhood Quickie-Mart.

I went straight to the counter after walking in. The one thing I knew would clench her spot on my arm was that damn Velvet rose. She loved the ugly thing. She swore it was meant to be hers, and I intended to make that a reality. As I moved it from the vase to the counter, I smiled.

The girl behind the counter, Leah, raised her eyebrows and grimaced at the flower. "This here is Bella Swan's rose."

"I know. She told me."

She made another face and I was a little put off by the wacky things her lips were doing as she eye-balled me. Now that I knew she was one on Jake's baby incubators, I was a bit leery of her.

"You better hope she don't hex whoever you're givin' this thing to."

I winked at her and pulled a twenty from my wallet. "I think she'll be quite pleased with the recipient."

She blinked twice. "Huh?"

"Bella," I said slowly, enunciating her name clearly. "I'm giving it to Bella."

Her eyes lit up as she started to bounce around on her heels. "You love Bella! Oh man, she is so good... she said it, and here you are." She put her hand over her heart and sighed.

It was my turn to be confused. "What are you talking about?"

"She's always said that if she wished hard enough, her true love would just show up. See… she knew her soul mate wasn't no Quileute. She's been waitin' and waitin', and here you are!"

I was suddenly uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going. On one hand, words like love and soul and mate kind of freaked me out, but on the other, I was beginning to believe in Bella's brand of back wood magic fairytale crap.

Maybe I was supposed to break down? Maybe I was supposed to end up in that town because of her… everything happens for a reason and all that bullshit.

But… no. If that were the case, she would have been bent over that counter at the word go. I wouldn't have had to put up with her stubbornness and that smart mouth. I was Edward Cullen—heir to the Cullen fortune and everything that entailed: the golden boy title, Ivy League education, luxury, money, and most of all… girls, and lots of them.

They came to me—not the other way around. Sure, I was always on the search and seize for a piece of ass, but I didn't usually have to work for it. It was the main reason I'd wanted Kate so damn bad, but now… I knew what her game was. She was a tease, a game player just like me. Bella, however, she wasn't teasing. I had the feeling that when she wanted to give me all that goodness, I was gonna get it good.

Every obstacle I had to hurdle in order to crack the shell around Bella's heart would be worth it. I had no idea how I knew… I just knew.

"I'm beginning to think I'll never know what's going on in that girl's head," I said out loud without meaning to.

"She just believes in stuff. Love, she especially believes in fairy tales and love and stuff. I tried to, but look at the mess I got in to," she said, rubbing her belly. "Long as Jake Black don't touch her, she might have a chance. That man is a dream sucking demon, I tell you. That's the danger of handsome men… can't resist them, and then they get ya, and then they chuck ya out. Girls hearts aren't real smart sometimes."

I felt horrible for the girl and had the strongest urge to beat the living shit out of Jake for being such a careless dick—literally.

"You'll find someone to treat you right, Leah. You seem like a cool chick."

She eyed me carefully before a smile spread on her lips. "You gotta be real careful with Bella's heart, it's not strong. She ain't no toy, city boy. She's a sweet and kind and special kinda girl. You better not be trying to cop a feel and then runnin' along. I still have two good months before I can't fight no more, so watch your back."

All the women in that town were so… _violent._ Maybe it was some kind of chromosome malfunction—rampant aggression and snit-social interaction disorder. It freaked me out.

I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "Look, I'm not playing games here. I'm not here to marry her for fuck sakes. My car broke down, I'm lost, and I happened to meet a very beautiful girl. I'd like to get to know her a little, and I definitely have no idea what happens after that. No need to kick my ass for being attracted to your friend. Damn."

She gave me another long look, up and down and back to my eyes. "Mm hm. You're it. You're the one."

I rolled my eyes. "What are you? Some kind of gypsy?"

She laughed. "No, silly boy! I'm a Quileute."

"Quooliewhatie?"

"Quileute. We're special. Not all human, either."

"No shit," I mumbled. That would explain the oversized gorillas in the parking lot and the rampant psycho banshee women.

I pinched myself on the leg, just to see if I was still alive. Maybe I conked my head real hard on my steering wheel, or actually drove over a cliff and I was dead… maybe it was like some alternate universe I'd been thrown into. Something was definitely odd in that place.

Or… someone was fucking with the water recipe.

It had to be the water… they always blamed it on the water.

"Oh-Kay… nice talking to you, Leah. I have something I need to do. Later."

"Yeah you do," she said, wagging her eyebrows in a very creepy fashion.

I started to walk out of the store… quickly… when something else caught my eye. It was a display for those stupid, cheap candy hearts that Bella said she loved. I remembered her saying she liked to read them, so I grabbed a few boxes, gave Leah a buck, and started for the door.

"Leah, come to think of it… do you have a pen?"

I had an idea… I just wasn't sure how it was going to work. I wasn't really good with words—there was never any need—and there was a strong possibility that it would backfire on me, but I needed to try. I was running low on time. It was make it or break it time.

I felt like a total douche carrying the rose and candies around, so I slid them in the inside pocket of my jacket and headed back to the party.

I scanned the parking lot, spotting Bella right away. She was sitting on the tailgate of Jake's truck, legs swinging and tits bouncing. She was blowing big bubbles with her bright pink gum and I groaned, knowing that if I didn't get to touch her soon, I was going to pass out.

I tried not to pay attention to the way her boobs bobbed around with her movements, but it was pretty damn difficult. It wouldn't help my case if my eyeballs continued to bulge out of my head—or my head continued to bulge… period.

I gave myself a discreet adjustment, thankful for the trousers I was wearing. If I'd been in my usual pair of jeans, I'd have turned blue and exploded already. I tore my eyes away from her so that I could find someone to help me put my "Operation Get Inside of Bella" into action.

I found my co-pilot when little Alice hobbled up next to me.

"You just gonna stand around looking at her, or what?" she asked, jabbing me in the side with her sharp elbow.

"No," I hissed. "You're going to help me make her give me a chance."

She did a weird little girly hop/clap thing before dragging me off by my arm.

"What are you doing?" I cried.

"I gotta pee or I won't be able to concentrate."

We dipped behind the store, through the alley and out to a wooded area, where she proceeded to squat and pee.

"Ummm… seriously?"

I was horrified. She was peeing… in front of me… where I could see _and_ hear… in the woods.

"Oh, come on. It's natural. We all gotta pee, goof ball! I gotta go double time cuz these babies be sittin on my bladder when I'm preggers."

I smashed my hands into my eyes and turned around, wishing like crazy that I wouldn't have even talked to the girl.

I should have known she would be just as crazy as the rest.

Motherfucking water.

I wanted to piss down one of their wells… drop some new DNA into the mix.

Freaking inbreeds.

Once she finished, she stood, walked in front of me and placed her hands on her hips. "What you got up your sleeve, sexy?"

I shuddered.

_Sexy? Ick…_

I pulled the velvet rose from my pocket and held it up. "Step 1."

She smiled. "She'll either kiss you or kill you for giving that to her."

I smirked. "I'm hoping for the kiss."

She rolled her eyes. "Of course you are. Now… what are you gonna say? You can't be blurtin' out a bunch of hooey. She'll kick your ass."

I pulled the Sweethearts from my pocket and turned them around, showing her the poem I wrote on the back.

She squealed—again—and crossed her legs. "Sorry, sometimes I piddle… damn babies."

Groaning, I waved my hand to get her attention. "You think she'll like it?"

Smiling, she answered. "Guess you're just gonna have to go find out on your own, sugar. Now, off you go before she drinks herself stupid and passes out. She's hittin' the jungle juice."

I didn't bother asking what the hell that shit was—I had a feeling I was better off not knowing.

Walking across the parking lot toward her, I dodged grabby broads left and right as they grinded on each other to the music.

"_So don't act like you don't be backin that stuff up  
>Girl in the club, cause that's what you got ass for<br>Wobble wobble I'm infatuated  
>Bitch ride a dick like she makin a baby<br>And I see that we gon' have to go to a quiet corner for just us two an'  
>Don't worry about who lookin, just keep on doin what you doin"<em>

She turned, almost like she could sense my approach. Our eyes met and a hundred lame clichés clicked through my mind.

Love at first sight…

Soul mates…

Eyes meeting across a crowded room…

None of that mattered—what did matter was the energy between us—that spark of something special.

I could see that her nerves were high as I stood in front of her. There were only inches between us, but it might as well have been miles.

"What are you doing, Fancy? Why are you still here?"

Her features were guarded—like she knew something was changing between us. Our energy was stronger, like something was pulling us toward something… unique.

"What do you think I'm doing?"

She rolled her neck and glared at me. "Riddles, riddles. Spit it out. You wanna hook up tonight, right? Come on, then."

She grabbed my hand and jumped down from the bed of the truck, and started off in the other direction. Tugging her back, I leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I have something for you."

She looked up at me with those unbelievably soulful eyes, and grinned. "I know you do. That pecker of yours has been trying to git at me all night."

I choked. "You're right… uh… it has, but, _I'm_ trying to get at you, too. Listen for a minute, will you?"

Nodding, skeptical of me and my motives, she stopped talking.

Thank freaking God.

I pulled the rose out, fell to one knee—gallant and gentlemanly like, and held it out to her. I braced myself for her reaction. I saw so many things flash across her eyes as she held the flower with a shaky hand.

Then, she squealed… and pounced, sending me flying backwards onto my ass with her straddled above me. She held the flower in both hands against her chest, and smiled, gleaming at me with sparkling eyes. She bounced on her knees, causing her to land repeatedly on my ever hardening cock.

Never… in any fantasy I'd had since the moment I saw her, had things been as good as they were with her on top of me. I grabbed hold of her hips to stop her from making me jizz my pants.

"Woman… you need to ssstop," I stuttered, hissing through my teeth.

I dug my fingers in—on instinct. There was no way to describe the way she felt under my hands. None. Her skirt had risen up and the soft smooth flesh that my hands found, melted like butter. I dug them in, and squeezed a little harder when she whimpered a small, breathy moan.

"Seriously… stop moving. Please…"

She pushed her lip into a pout and leaned down, placing her hands against my chest.

"Thank you," I whispered against her lips, completely entranced by her eyes as she gazed down at me. "I'm glad you like your flower."

She smiled and my heart leapt in my chest.

Like a fucking girl… I felt like such a pussy…

"I knew I'd get it tonight. I had a dream that you gave it to me."

I took a slow breath, the air still trying to flow back into my lungs after she knocked it out of me.

"I want you to have something else," I said quietly.

I reached into my pocket and grabbed the candy and the poems. Holding the box out for her to take, I smiled as her eyes lit up again.

"You remembered," she marveled.

"I did." I cleared my throat, embarrassed of the way it rumbled when I tried to talk. Pulling out my paper, I held it so I could read it to her. "Read the back."

She giggled and turned the box around, biting her lip when she saw my handwriting.

"_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_I've never met a girl_

_As pretty as you."_

I read it out loud while she read the back, just to make sure she understood that I was being serious.

She looked up at me slowly, disbelief marring her features.

"You think I'm pretty?"

I nodded my head, hitting the asphalt. "Gorgeous."

She bounced down on me—again, smiling so widely that I thought her face would crack with the pressure.

"Let's go have some sex," she said, bluntly.

My hips bucked on their own accord, simply answering for my willing cock.

He was on board…

"Fuck me," I muttered slowly.

"I want to… so much. Ever since I caught you checkin' me out at the store. I saw that meat yer packin' and I can't wait no more."

"Sweet Jesus," I whined. "You're going to kill me."

I had never been more turned on in my entire life… ever. There wasn't a cell in my body that didn't want her.

She leaned in further, her tits rubbing sinfully against my chest and brushed her lips against mine. "I love you."

Brakes… skids… stop…

Screeching. Fucking. Halt.

My body deflated like a week old balloon. _Love?_ What the fuck was she talking about?

"You don't love me… you don't… don't say that!" I ordered, pushing myself up on the palms of my hands.

Her arms wrapped around y neck and she settled herself in my lap, resting that fine, fat ass of hers on my thighs.

"I think I do. I really like yer face and yer words and you think I'm pretty, and I know yer the man of my dreams… I told you I seen it!"

I reached over and let my finger trace the curve of her cheek. "You're very pretty… the prettiest thing I've ever seen, and I like you, too. Very much."

She sighed and I decided to go for it… give her all I had.

"_Roses are red, _

_Violets are blue,_

_I'm sorry I'm not a poet,_

_But I'm trying for you._

_You don't know me, _

_And I don't know you,_

_Before the night is over,_

_I'm hoping I do."_

She scrunched up her nose and cocked her head. "You know me now, dontcha?"

I shook my head. She was still a mystery to me. At times, she seemed so simple, an open book, but other times she boggled the shit out of me. Staring at her, her words came back at me… hard… forceful… knocking me down about ten pegs.

"I want to know everything about you, Bella."

"Okay," she answered, happily and simply. "You wanna talk before we have sex, though? We don't gotta talk, I already wanna."

I trailed my hands up her spine and her neck, until her head was engulfed in my hands. "I don't want to have sex with you, Bella."

I couldn't even believe the words had come from my lips. It was like I'd been possessed by some freaking alien or something. It didn't make sense, and if anyone I knew had heard it, they would have fallen backwards and died from shock.

I always, _always_ wanted to have sex. Always.

I looked deeply into her wide, surprised eyes, hoping she'd catch my drift; see where I was coming from.

Apparently… not.

"Yes you do! I can feel yer package pressin' up against me! Why are you playin' hard to get? This some kind of game or somethin'? Who put you up to this?"

She was beginning to get… well… Bella-ish."

"Trust me, baby… I _want_ you… badly, ever since the first moment I saw you. Now… I want… you… _you…_ all of you. I think I might love you, too, or like. I know I like you," I sputtered, back peddling like a motherfucker.

_What the hell was wrong with me?_

_LOVE? _

_Fuck. My. Life._

"You talk an awful lot for a boy," she said with a huff.

"You give me a lot to think about."

She ducked her chin, blushing. "I ain't nothin' much," she said softly, her voice small, uncertain, and sad.

I moved the palms of my hands to cradle her face. "You're everything. When I see you, I see things I never imagined. Don't ever put yourself down, beautiful."

She smiled and lowered her eyes. "Why do you make me feel this way?"

"The same reason you make me feel the way I do."

The way she looked at me took my breath away.

"I don't think I can leave you," I said, honestly.

The very thought make me sick. No fucking way could I leave her behind and go to school on the other side of the country. The shirtless bastards would be all over her, drooling and panting like the pack of dogs they were.

"Don't leave me then. I got my own house. We can live there, together."

_Bless her little trailer loving heart._

"Can I get up now? The gravel is digging into my ass."

She pulled back and held her hand out for me to take. "You want to go talk somewhere… I don't know… not a parking lot?"

It just didn't seem like a parking lot keg party was really the best place to have a meaningful conversation.

"Yeah, we can go…" She trailed off, turning her head to the side. "Ah, yeah… this is my jam. I gotta dance!"

"_Bounce that ass till ya cant no mo'  
>Make ya ass touch the flo'<br>Like ya legs are broke  
>Take that big ol' booty girl and scrub the ground<br>You can do it up and down  
>Or round n round<br>As long as that pussy aint stiff"_

She broke out into a full sprint with me trailing behind.

Best seat in the house… let me tell ya.

She found her place in the group of girls dancing near the front of the market and went to town.

All that shaking and bouncing and wobbling was more than I could handle after having her body on top of me, touching and feeling her against me…

Her eyes never left mine and I knew that she was dancing just for me. She smiled, mouthed "I love you" and traced a heart over her chest. Taking another long pull from the cup I'd filled with liquor, I grabbed the bottle and filled it up again.

"You better slow down… I'm warnin' ya," Jake said from my side.

"You need a vasectomy," I slurred, pointing.

"Yeah," he said, rocking on his heels. "Been thinking I need one of them van ones, you know, to hold all the kids."

Maybe I'd had more booze that I thought, but the guy still wasn't making sense to me.

"A vasectomy, dumbass… you know, to _stop_ the kids."

He looked over at me, blinked and nodded. "Yeah, if it runs 'em over it'll stop 'em."

I spit liquid everywhere as I sputtered. "Dude, did you have a bad fall or something? Do you have a school around here, or did your education come strictly from watching Jerry Springer re-runs?"

Maybe something happened to the kid—like he ate crayons, or paste, or plants on the poisonous list… or licked lead off walls.

"I'm talking about having a doctor tie your shit up so you don't have any more kids. It's gonna get a little weird when every kid in town is related to you."

I could hear the banjos battling it out in my head.

"Ain't no one messing with my ding-a-ling, man. That's a hell no. Not my fault none of these girls can resist me. God wanted me to fill 'em all up with babies or he wouldn't have given me all this juice."

Again… I questioned the level of toxins in the water supply.

What in the actual fuck?

"Just stay away from my girl, or we'll have some issues," I warned, tipping my cup at him before taking another swig.

"Your girl, eh? So, you claimed her already? Hot damn… that's some news—ol' B ain't no virgin anymore." He laughed, full belly laughter that shook the truck we were leaning against.

My whole body tensed. "Vvvvvvvvvvvirgin? You know this?"

It couldn't have been true… the way she moved… talked… looked. That girl was sex all day long with a neon sign blinking and everything.

He rolled his eyes. "I told ya, city boy. We thought she liked slappin' beaver. Guess not, though. Ain't for lack of tryin' either. We all tried to ball that sweet stuff. So… did she clean yer gun? I bet her shit was tight as a drum, too." He hissed through his teeth, and the look in his eye make me see red.

The cup in my hand hit the ground about a millisecond before Jake's body did. I leered over him. "Don't you talk about the woman I love that way," I sputtered angrily. "She's my queen, my princess and I'm her knight in shining armor, motherfucker. You treat her like gold… like a goddess… like a rare diamond… a priceless…

And then… everything went black.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>

**More to come…**

**I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**XO**

**J'me**


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**AN: This is dedicated to my kitties and my corner girls. I love them more than rolos—forever! Thank you for your friendship. It means everything to me.**

**Please be warned that this is unbeta'd and all for fun! Enjoy and thank you for reading**

**Thank you Les16 for always being my extra set of eyes and friend :)**

* * *

><p>I woke up to whispers. Soft voices hummed in my ears. The voice was pleasant, soft and pretty and smooth like marshmallow fluff.<p>

I wanted to eat it.

I was warm and so freaking cozy, more comfortable than I could ever remember being. I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to stay on the soft, squishy bed with the yummy bubblegum scent forever.

"Isn't he pretty, Mama?"

"Oh, baby, you done good with this one. Damn near the prettiest piece of man I ever saw."

"I'm keepin' him."

A wave of… something—butterflies, acid reflux… something, rolled in my stomach. Then, something clicked… light switches flipped started flipping on in every corner of my brain.

Bella.

Belllllla.

I felt my body stir and my lips pull into a smile against the pillow.

"Well, well. Ain't you a lucky girl. Look at the trouser snake he's got hidin' in there."

"Oh, Mama… of course you notice his thingy! Geez! Don't peek at it-it ain't polite. He's company!"

I clenched my eyes closed tightly, wanting to die of embarrassment. I couldn't believe she was standing over me while I slept, talking about my junk with her mother.

I rolled onto my stomach to cover my erection and groaned. She was killing me!

"Ah, good mornin' honey pie! I've been waitin' for you to wake up forever!"

"Where am I?" I grumbled.

I felt warmth on my face and opened one eye to see who was breathing on me. Thankfully, Bella's sweet face filled my field of vision and it made me smile.

"You're home, baby love. After you passed out, Jake and the boys dragged yer cute little butt back here. Jake thought the moonshine killed ya—he was gonna dump you at the gulch, but then ya started mumblin'."

"Ugh," I groaned. "I'm pretty sure I _did_ die. I feel like I ate a rotten squirrel."

Her hand brushed the hair out of my eyes and she kissed my cheek. "That's what ya git for guzzlin' White Lightnin' like it was cherry Kool-aid. You were out like a light!"

I groaned again and reached over to wrap my arms around her, pulling her down next to me. "Cuddle," I mumbled, burrowing my head into her ample chest.

"Well, if that ain't just the sweetest damn thing I ever saw. My old heart could just fly!"

I lifted my head from the warm heaven of Bella's breasts to check out the mom situation. I wasn't prepared, in any way, for what I saw when I looked up.

Bella's mom was a serious MILF. Probably the MILFYest MILF I'd ever seen.

Long, tanned legs, full, high perky jugs, round hips, thin waist, and a face almost as sweet as her daughter. She was barely covered up by a white, silky negligee that hit right about mid-thigh.

"Fuck me," I whispered.

"Well, hello there handsome. I'm Nay-Nay, but you just call me Mama. My… look at those pretty eyes," she sighed. "Y'all are gonna make me some pretty grandbabies, I can already tell."

I tried not to choke—it would have been rude under the circumstances, but Jesus… fucking babies!

"I'll just let you two love birds enjoy yer nest. Mama's gonna leave y'all alone now."

Bella turned to face her mom and pulled me closer. "We'll come over for dinner, Mama. I just want him all to myself for a little bit."

"Um, hum. Don't blame ya a bit for that, baby girl. I don't know if I'd let that man leave my bed at all. Mmm mmm."

"All right, Mama! That's enough… now, git!"

Nay-Nay—Mama—whatever, sauntered out of the trailer in the sheer nighty and fluffy slippers, and I let my face fall back against Bella.

So soft and warm and billowy.

"What the hell happened to me, seriously?" I groaned. Every single one of the muscles in my body ached.

"You fell out like a tree trunk… flat on yer back," she rubbed the palm of her hand over my cheek. "Thank goodness it wasn't this pretty face of yers. That'd be a damn shame."

I smiled and nuzzled myself closer. "You're soft."

She giggled. "What do you want to do today?" she asked.

There were all kinds of things I wanted to do… but I wasn't sure I could even move. Every cell, every inch of me hurt—like I'd been run down by a big rig and dragged behind it for a couple hundred miles. What I really wanted to do was kiss her. A lot. I had a vague memory of kissing her, having her lips on mine—soft, warm and sweet, but for all I knew, it had only been a dream.

The second thing I wanted to do was strip her out of her trashy little clothes and fuck her until she couldn't remember her name.

I really, really, wanted to fuck her.

But…

There was something I wanted more than both of those things… and that was a shower.

"I need to take a shower," I said, my voice rough and hoarse from sleep and poison hillbilly corn liquor.

"Ooh! A shower! Okay, then what?"

I chuckled. She was so adorably childlike and easy going. I wanted to soak it all up because the grim reality was that I had to leave her—and soon.

"Then… I need to get back to my parent's house. I have a flight back East tomorrow, and I need to figure out how I'm getting back."

It almost killed me to say it out loud. The look on her face was even worse. She looked down at her fingers, twisting them nervously. The small, well bitten, nubs of her fingernails were painted dark purple with little sparkles.

"You said you didn't want to leave me."

I took hold of her hands to still them. "Hey… look at me. I have to be honest—I can't remember a lot about last night, but I have a feeling that moonshine was like some kind of truth serum. I don't want to leave you, that's the honest to God truth. I don't know what's going on… but I don't want to be without you. But… I have to, Bella. I can't stay here."

Her head snapped up and her eyebrow rose. "You belong here! You said it! Dontcha feel that you belong here?"

I pushed myself up so I was sitting—since it looked like cuddle time was over. "I belong with you, Bella, but not here. I have school, obligations. God… how did this happen?"

I scrubbed my hands over my eyes. What a clusterfuck my life had become, all because I had to chase a piece of over-rated, high society tail across the country. I had to be a cocky little bastard and prove that no woman could resist me.

Fucking moron. I was an idiot.

Now… I was in a seriously fucked up situation. One day. It took less than one day for my life to be thrown completely off its axis. I'd been dropped in Butt-Fuck Egypt with a bunch of inbreeds, and the ultimate thoroughbred—Bella, and nothing made sense anymore.

She was crazy, ditzy, trashy, and all around completely wrong for me, and yet, she was damn near perfect. I'd never felt so at peace, so excited, or so on fire. She made me laugh, think, drool, and yell. The passion was something I'd never felt, or seen, before in my life.

I knew that I would regret letting her go for the rest of my life.

That would make me the ultimate moron.

She was mine, and to repeat her words—I was keeping her.

"I thought we were gonna be together," she sniffed. "I thought you were my one."

I pulled her into my lap and rubbed her back. "Baby, I have no idea what you mean by "one," but I know I want to be whatever you need me to. I just… I can't just blow off my life, you know? Maybe…" I took a deep breath, not prepared for the next thing to come out of my mouth. "We can be together, we can see where this goes…"

I had no idea what to do. I'd never had a girlfriend, much less a long distance one.

"You gonna come back to me?" she asked, pleading.

I hugged her tightly. "You better believe I will."

"I don't want you to go."

I didn't like her being so sad. "Listen… let's just spend the day together and we'll deal with everything else later. Okay?"

She nodded against my chest. "Okay. Let's get a shower first 'cause you don't smell as good as you used to."

She made me laugh. Any other time, if someone would have told me I smelled bad I would have flipped my shit, but from her, it was endearing.

She pulled me from the bed and started for the tiny cubby hole door. "Uh… where _do_ you shower, anyway?"

She hopped down and waved for me to join her. "Wait… where the fuck are my shoes?"

My shoes… socks… belt—all gone.

"Oh! Somebody took 'em when you was knocked out. Don't worry… you can borrow some of Jake's… shoot! Gonna need to grab you some clothes, too. You're just raggedy now. Damn shame, too 'cause you looked so pretty in your fancy clothes."

She gave me a sassy smile and let her finger trail down my chest, teasing, tempting.

I grabbed her hand, stilling it. "You better watch yourself, little lady. If you want me to continue being a gentleman, you won't give me that look."

Batting her eyelashes, she dug her toe into the dirt and swirled her finger around on my chest. I was _this_ close to throwing her over my shoulder and dragging her off in the woods to defile her ass.

"Tease," I said, kissing her nose.

"Pick me up," she said when I started walking toward the other trailer.

"Huh?"

"I said, pick me up and carry me. I'm tired and I forgot my house shoes!"

I shook my head. "Well, we aren't _in_ the house, so you don't need them." I had no idea what the fuck house shoes were, and I didn't want to get into it with her, either.

"You better pick me up and carry me, or I'll kick you in the shins, good!"

I sighed… hostile, crazy girl was back and I wasn't even sober enough to handle it.

"All right… damn woman! Do you have to yell at me all the time?" I bend over so she could climb onto my back and sighed again.

She'd turned me into her own personal pack mule.

I was literally a motherfucking jackass.

I didn't even recognize myself anymore.

Yeah, I was sore, and no, I wasn't thrilled about being bossed around, but her body pressed against mine was everything right in the world, so I was glad to do whatever I had to do in order to keep touching her.

I piggy-backed her around to the front of the trailer, and awkwardly opened the door with her on my back.

"Shouldn't we knock?"

"My Mama lives here, Edward. It's my house, too."

Who was I to argue?

The smell of bacon hit me like a ton of bricks. My senses delighted, but my stomach recoiled.

"Well, that was quick," I heard Nay-Nay say as we walked in. "Didn't think I'd see y'all 'till tomorrow." She giggled, raised her eyebrows suggestively and shook her hips back and forth.

"Don't mind her, honey bear. She's got her mind in the gutter."

I couldn't even put together a response. My eyes were busy wobbling around in my head. Nay-Nay's tits were taking up the whole room—as well as the oxygen needed in my brain. They were the only thing I could focus on.

She'd traded her see-through lingerie for a teeny tiny top—no… it was a fucking bra, decorated with gold fringe along the bottom and covered in gold glittery shit.

She looked like a stripper. Fuck… she probably was a stripper.

A sharp smack on the back of my head broke me out of the stupor. "It ain't polite to stare, Fancy."

I closed my eyes tightly, clenching them so that I could dispel the sight of Nay-Nay's hooters.

"He's a man, Bella Marie. Ain't no harm in a little lookin'."

When I opened my eyes, she'd turned around and was busy flipping bacon and scrambling eggs. It gave me the perfect view of her very perfect, very round, very visible through her white stretchy pants, ass.

There was no question where Bella's assets came from. Mama was rocking a sick body, and she wasn't shy about showing it. As I stood there, I realized that she looked a lot younger than I thought she was. Admittedly, I wasn't in the greatest shape, but she looked almost too young to have a daughter Bella's age.

Then, like a tub of ice water being dropped on my head, I froze. "How old are you, Bella?" I blurted hurriedly, bordering on hysteria.

"I'll be nineteen in the fall."

"Thank Christ," I said, wiping my brow in relief.

"Why? I mean, I know I'm up there in years, but I ain't no old maid or nothin'. I don't even have to wear a push-up bra yet."

I squeezed her hand, silently telling her to chill the fuck out. "Your mom just looks really young. I was afraid you were underage."

She gave me a funny look and shrugged.

"Anyways, Mama… we're gonna go take a shower real quick. Don't let Billy and Jake eat up all the meat this mornin'. I gotta feed my man," she purred, rubbing against me and grinning.

I liked the way that sounded… her man.

A lot.

"Well, y'all better be careful. You know that shower is too small for ya to have any fun in."

My dick perked up so quickly, you could almost hear a zing. She was planning on taking a shower together? Both of us… naked… in the water… together?

My knees felt like they were going to give out.

"Come on. Let's hurry before Jake beats us to it. He'll use up all the hot water jerkin his turkey."

I shuddered. I didn't want to imagine that dude in the shower I was supposed to use to wash myself. That was just fucked up.

We walked the whole four-feet across the room to the bathroom and she opened the door. "Okay. You go in first. Just get outta yer clothes and hop in the shower and I'll come in after you."

I stared at her for a second, trying to figure out what she wanted me to do. I'd never been given instructions on how to shower before.

"You want to take a shower with me? I mean… you don't need to do that… I mean, great… if you want to, it'd be great…" I took a deep breath before continuing. "I'd like that, but I don't want you to think I expect it."

She smirked and cocked her hip. "I ain't gonna hump you in no shower, Edward Cullen. I just thought it'd save us some time, that's all."

How could I argue with that?

But… I had to admit. I was nervous. It was a guarantee that I'd get a hard-on if we were both naked. I wasn't sure if my heart could even stand being that close to her without touching her. I wasn't stupid, however. I wasn't going to throw away the chance to see her in all her glory just because I was a little pussy. Even if I ended up keeling over—at least I'd die with the vision of her in my head. That was a good way to die in my book.

I leaned down, kissed her cheek and disappeared behind the door. I could barely move around, so I could see why we had to go in one at a time. It was no wonder why the girl was so cranky. Even the smallest everyday thing was a big convoluted fucking hassle.

I managed to disrobe without killing myself, and turned the water on. I drew the God awful, putrid green and hot pink shower curtain and groaned. "Yeah… there's no fucking way this is gonna work."

How the ape sized Jake managed to bathe in that little box was beyond me. I was pretty sure I was going to have to fold myself in half to fit without banging my head on the ceiling. The shower head hit me right around the belly button area and the water pressure was basically non-existent.

The door cracked open and Bella poked her head in. "You 'bout ready in there, Fancy?"

I jumped and squealed like a little girl. "Shit! You scared me!" I covered my dick with my hands, modesty suddenly becoming very important under the circumstances.

Nay-Nay worried me.

"Ah, you ain't gotta hide, sugar booger. I already got me an eyeful of your jewels. Now, hurry up… git in!"

I got in, pulled the curtain closed quickly, and took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm in."

I heard the door click shut and braced myself against the wall. The paint was peeling in spots, and it looked like the walls were about to crumble under my hands. I pulled back and stood in the middle of the tub, trying hard not to let any part of my body touch anything else.

I could hear her moving around, her clothes hitting the floor and I was on pins and needles with anticipation. I felt like it was this huge moment in my life—like nothing would ever be as good as seeing her in all her glory.

I'd seen dozens of girls naked—touched them, fucked them—but not one of them meant what Bella did to me.

I jumped; surprised when I felt cool air hit my ass, and I knew it was time. I was almost afraid to turn around and look—not wanting the moment to pass me by.

I did, though. I turned, slowly so that I could savor every single inch of her and every minute she was in front of me. We stood there without as much as an inch of space between our bodies and stared into each other's eyes.

I could see that she was nervous, too. Her teeth bit into the soft flesh of her lips as she tried to hold back a shy smile.

"What are you smiling about, beautiful?" I moved a strand of hair away from her face and smiled down on her.

"I wish I could see yer tush."

I laughed, hard, almost smacking my head against the dilapidated wall. "Well, I can't deny you anything, but…" I said, tapping her nose. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, duh! I want you to look at mine, silly boy! You need to know what you're workin' with, dontcha?"

I couldn't stand it anymore. I pulled her close and kissed her. Hard, passionately—with everything I had. Her forward little mouth had me as stiff as a board and so fucking horny that I was humping air.

Things quickly began to heat up, and I don't mean the water. That shit was about thirty-one degrees against my lower back, but I could've cared less. Her hands fisted my hair tightly as she rubbed shamelessly against my thigh. My dick was pressed against her stomach between us, and the slickness between her legs was driving me crazy.

Soft and warm and wet and I wanted to fuck her into next week.

My tongue lapped at hers, twisting, rolling, loving. She tasted so sweet—different. Her sweet bubblegum flavored tongue was as talented as her fingers that explored my body like crazy.

Boldly, I pulled her leg over my hip, bringing our bodies into full contact. I braced her by grabbing hold of her ass, lifting her slightly so we were even closer.

Dropping my head onto her shoulder, I groaned into her skin. "Fuck… I've never wanted something so much in my life."

It was more than the truth. I wanted to pull her inside of me and never let go.

"It hurts so bad!" she moaned. "I want you too much!"

My breath was hard, panting and rushed. I felt like a damn wild animal. There was no way I'd let myself take her virginity in a moldy old shower the size of a sardine can, though, so I tried to get myself under control.

"Not like this, okay, precious. I want to treat you right… give you everything. I want to make it special."

"Uh… I love you," she said, breathlessly. "You feel so dang good!"

"You feel incredible, Bella, but we can't do this here. First of all… we don't have enough room. Let's wash up real fast and go back to your place."

I let go of her leg and held her up so she wouldn't fall. Reaching over to the edge, giving me a fantastic view of her ass, she held up a bottle of pink body wash.

"Sorry I don't have no manly soap. Jake likes to use ours."

They guy just got weirder and weirder.

"Doesn't matter," I decided, watching as she squirted some into her hands.

"I wanna wash you."

I nodded dumbly. Willingly.

I bit back a groan when her soft delicate hands began rubbing my chest, spreading the soapy lather. "You're stronger than you look. I can feel all your muscles," she smiled. "Alice thought you were scrawny."

She giggled and I frowned. "Alice pees in the dirt, who the fuck is she to judge?"

Slim… maybe, but scrawny? No.

I was a fucking stud!

She spread the soap up and over my shoulders, down my arms, and across my chest before she went down toward my stomach, hesitating as she neared my dick. I could tell she was curious—that she wanted to touch me, but I didn't want her to go that far… yet. I wanted the opportunity to wash her and return the favor. If she touched my junk—it was over.

"You now," I said, reaching for the soap. I poured some into my hand and rubbed my palms together.

I couldn't believe the way my hands shook as they hovered over her breasts. They were right _there_—right in front of my eyes—my hands… I'd never felt so unsure before. They were far more beautiful that I imagined. Round… soft, and perky. They were large, just like I knew they would be, with the most delectable little nipples—all pink and pointy.

I was almost afraid they'd disappear if I touched them… or licked them.

Damn… she was _a lot_ of woman.

"Touch me already," she whined, grabbing my hands and placing them on top of them. "I'm 'bout to die!"

Well… we couldn't have that…

They felt so good in my hands—like they belonged there. Her tiny whimpers and purrs were almost too much. My dick was jumping around like rice in a frying pan, dying to get inside of what it knew would be the best thing he'd ever touch.

I moved away from them with one last brush of my thumbs against her hardened peaks. What I really wanted to do was bite them, but I knew it wasn't the time.

I did have some decorum.

Her tummy was soft, fuller than I was used to with other girls I'd been with, but not fat like she had a gut. She didn't. She was just soft and plush, feminine and womanly. I let my hands wander around her waist, amazed at how tiny it was in comparison to the curve of her hips.

She was like Jessica fucking Rabbit incarnate.

I let myself dip around to the promise land, that ass that had me whipped from the get go. I couldn't resist, so I let my tongue dart out to taste the smooth skin of her throat as I washed her backside.

"Every fucking inch of you is perfect, baby. Every inch."

"Oh… you, too! I want to lick your whole body!" she cried.

I bit down on her neck, thrusting my dick toward her impulsively. "No dirty talk… not now," I begged.

Dirty, filthy mouth of hers was going to get her fucked.

"I want to make you come, but I want you to shut that mouth of yours. Can you do that?"

She nodded and I smiled. "Ah, so you do know how to listen." I chuckled and let my finger dip between her legs.

"Can you spread your legs a little bit for me, baby?"

She did, moving her feet and giving me access to her sweet spot. I could feel her warm and wet on my fingertips and the primal urges inside of me roared.

Soft, fine hair covered her, something I hadn't expected, but strangely enjoyed.

"I like this… your curls. I'm glad you're not shaved down here. It's sexy," I said roughly.

I was holding onto my control by a thread- a worn, and very short thread.

"Of course I got hair down there. I told you I was a woman already," she huffed, utterly confused.

She was getting testy again and I didn't want her flipping out on me when things were about to get really good. "Yes, you are, my love. More woman than I have any idea what the fuck to do with."

I found her clit and gently began to rub. "Oh, I like that… don't stop," she panted, throwing her head back. "I can feel you everywhere!"

Her fingers dug into my shoulders as she steadied herself while I slowly, gently slid my middle finger inside of her.

Jesus… it was like dipping into a jar of honey. Soft and smooth and the way she gripped me…

She was definitely a virgin.

I slid in and out of her while my thumb continued slow strokes over her clit. I'd never been too fond of finger banging chicks—number one… it was a mess, and number two… I never saw the point. I didn't really think about getting chicks off. I was there to fuck, not play games. If they didn't get there my way, well, they were on their own.

That was the moment that I knew I was fucked.

And in love.

With Bella.

I wanted to give her everything. I wanted to kiss her and hold her and worship her body like a temple. I wanted to make love to her until she knew that she owned me, that I belonged to her.

"Does it feel good, precious? Do I make you feel good?"

"Gawd, yes! Sweet Jesus… I love you!"

I could feel her walls flutter, so adding another finger, I picked up the rhythm to bring her around.

"Come for me, beautiful. I love you. Let me see you come."

My words shook something in her and she fell apart in my arms. Her body tensed, her legs wobbled, and her pussy convulsed around my fingers.

"Where the fuck did you come from?" I asked her, holding her as she came down from her orgasm.

I kissed her cheek, softly and then across her face until I reached her lips. I kissed her several times, small, tasting, enjoying.

"It's cold. We should get out before you catch cold."

She nodded, looked away and blushed. "Is it bad that I wanna do that again?"

I smiled, mischievously. "Not at all… in fact, I'm glad because I plan on doing that as many times as I can before I have to go home."

Sadness fell across her face and I felt like a world class douche.

"I thought you'd stay… you know, for some more of that lovin'."

Some of the shit that came out of her mouth….

"We'll figure it out. Don't get all sad. Two days ago you didn't even know I existed. Yesterday you thought I was an asshole. You'll be just fine until I get back. Now, come on. I'm freezing my balls off."

Her eyes darted down quickly before focusing on my eyes again. "Nice. It's awful big, isn't it?"

She reached down like she wanted to touch me, but pulled back. Thankfully. I was having some serious shrinkage issues due to the cold water and I was a little humiliated by my anaconda turning into a turtle.

"Please stop looking at it right now. It's because it's cold!"

"Well fine, crabby! Let's get out then."

She got out and grabbed a towel, handing me the other. We dried off quickly, me watching her like a creepy pervert. She wrapped a towel around herself and then turned and smiled.

"I know you was peekin' at me."

I simply shrugged.

"You wait right here and I'll bring you some clothes."

She turned to walk out and I grabbed her arm. "Wait… won't they say something about us… you know… coming out of her together… you're not even dressed!"

My blood boiled thinking about her going out there where Jake could see… well, nothing really, but more than I wanted him to and realizing that he'd probably seen more.

"You're so bashful, bless your heart. I'll be right back. Dry off now."

I shook my head, wondering if I'd survive the rest of the day with Miss Bella Swan.

One day. One day, and I'd turned into a complete pussy and fallen in love with a beautiful bumpkin with a badunkadunk that could crush Russia if she fell backwards. I grabbed the towel and did as she asked. I had a feeling that if things went my way, I was in for a very memorable, very enjoyable afternoon.

* * *

><p><strong>Love you all! <strong>

**Happy April Fools Day. I think you are all wonderful, and that's no joke!**

**XO**

**J'me**


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**AN:** This is dedicated to my wonderful Beta, Twimarti. Happy Birthday my love! You are priceless to me, and I am so grateful that I have you and your friendship! I love you and hope you had a great day yesterday!

Booty shakes to my corner girls and the kitties XO

* * *

><p>Almost four months… ninety-five days to be exact.<p>

Ninety five days of writing letters, phone calls, and missing the hell out of my girl.

I missed that girl so much, it hurt. It was still unbelievable to me that after only a day—one tiny event, she'd managed to stitch herself to my heart forever.

So many nights I'd lay in bed and talk myself out of dropping out of school and running back to her. Over and over again, I'd hear her voice, see the look in her eyes, and the words would stab me all over again.

"_Come back to me."_

That was exactly what I was doing. I'd had my apartment packed up for almost two weeks. I was over it. I couldn't wait for my flight to hit the ground. Was it crazy that I was so head over heels in love with a girl I'd only known a few months? Definitely. The fact that it was _me_ in love was crazy in the first place. I didn't do love, or hadn't before Bella.

Apparently… I _did_ do love.

I'd told my family very little about Bella, not because I was ashamed of her, but because I wanted to keep her all to myself for a little while longer. Honestly, I wasn't sure how my family would to take her. She was a lot to get used to, but I knew that she'd enchant them the same way she'd done me. Her sweet charm and quirky wit would have them eating out of the palms of her hands in no time.

Rose and Emmett knew a little bit, but I kept things vague. They didn't exactly understand what the fuck was going on, and I didn't exactly want to explain it to them. Shit… I couldn't explain it to myself. It just _was._

I loved Bella Swan and that was that.

Leaving her was hard, but the hardest part was knowing _where_ I was leaving her. Although she seemed happy enough with her way of life on the reservation, I felt like she deserved better. I wanted her to have better. I hated the little cubby hole box she lived in. I hated that she had to take a shower in the same house as Jake and his weirdo dad. I hated that she didn't have a car, and that she had to work at that shitty quickie mart.

So… I made some changes.

The first thing I did was buy her a phone. And a laptop… and had a satellite installed so she could get reception.

Then… I bought her a new house.

I had half a mind to buy her a real house… the kind without wheels, but she refused to leave the reservation. She didn't want to leave her mom, which I guess I understood. So, I surfed the net for listings, and found the perfect house trailer for my girl.

A perfect little mobile castle for my princess.

A pink one.

It was after an awkward conversation with my brother that I asked him to check it out for me in person. I had to be sure it wasn't a total piece of shit before I bought it.

"Edward… it's an old piece of crap. Why in the hell would you want that thing? It's got to be one-hundred years old, and its freaking pink!"

I knew it was going to be perfect. For her… it had to be.

The next day, I wired the guy twenty-five hundred bucks, put an extra five-hundred in to deliver, and another four-hundred for new tires.

I couldn't wait for her to see it. Her reaction was everything I expected and more. She was over the moon in love with it, and thrilled that she finally had a "real house" with her own toilet.

I just couldn't stand to have her living that way when I was living like a goddamned king. It made me sick. I had a luxury apartment a few blocks from school, decorated and furnished with only the finest, endless amounts of cash flow, and a maid to clean my house three times a week. It was just wrong, and I had never felt more spoiled and ungrateful in my entire life.

Her attitude toward me taking care of her was refreshing, too. Unlike other girls I'd known over the years, she was neither bashful, nor ashamed of accepting my help or gifts. Most of the girls I knew either expected it but wouldn't admit it, or they were adamant about being independent and doing things on their own. It never mattered one way or another to me since I was never one to woo girls with gifts. They either weren't around long enough for me to give a shit, or I just didn't give a shit… period.

I found that with Bella, I enjoyed doing things for her. It made me feel good… important and needed. The way my heart felt, and the stupid smile that I'd get on my face when I'd recieve her letters was all the reason I needed to keep doing them for her.

My dad was always spoiling my mom—gifts, trips, fancy dinners, jewelry… and it all made sense to me now. He loved her, and making her happy made him happy.

Simple.

I felt like a natural with the romance shit.

With a stupid grin on my face, and a bounce in my step, I fled from the plane, through the terminal, and practically knocked my brother down trying to get to my girl.

"Whoa… cool it, bro."

He laughed at me, and I was ready to throttle him when a flash of something behind him caught my eye. I pushed him out of the way, and words could not describe the exhilarating feeling that pumped through me when I caught sight of her.

Jesus Fucking Christ… she was a walking, screaming, heaven sent orgasm.

And thank God she belonged to me.

She was looking back and forth, standing on her tip toes and smacking away at her gum when she finally spotted me.

"Yeah… I caught an eyeful of that little morsel while I was waiting," my brother commented, lowering his sunglasses. "You should see that ass on her…"

Just as I was about to tell him how well acquainted I was with that ass, her face lit up and she came running at me in a full on sprint.

I dropped my bag and opened my arms, too fucking stunned to move. Seconds later, I swept her up and crushed her against me.

I growled when she made contact, wrapping herself around me like a little purple chimpanzee. I held her up—happily—by her ass, and dug my fingers in deep.

Damn… how I missed that ass.

Her hands were gripping my hair, and her lips were on mine without any thought of our surroundings. It was one of the things I loved most about her. No pretense. No bullshit. Her vibe and passion were so intense and balls out.

Only when I heard the sputtering of my brother's conniption fit behind me did I pull back—but only slightly enough to speak to him. There was no way I was letting her go.

"Emmett, this is my Bella. Bella, this is my brother, Emmett."

"Holy shit."

Emmett's eyes were so big that I was afraid they were going to pop out of his head. He was stunned stupid-I understood the feeling. I'd had the same reaction to Bella the first time I saw her, too.

"You're Emmett?" she said with a big happy smile. "Well, damn. I shoulda known y'all were related the way you were eyeballin' me like I was a big fat t-bone."

She pecked me on the lips and wiggled out of my arms before standing in front of my brother with her arms up.

"Come on, now. Gimme some sugar."

Dirty thoughts flashed through my brother's eyes and I gave him a warning shove.

"Be respectful, fucker."

He coughed and carefully wrapped one arm around her shoulder, giving her a small tap on the back. She wasn't having any of that shit.

"That what you call a hug, city boy? You're almost as bad as Fancy. Come on, let me give you some. We're gonna be kin for cryin' out loud!"

His head snapped to face me—a little fear, and a lot of excitement filling his eyes. She grabbed him up and wrapped her arms around his middle, hugging him tight and squinting her eyes.

"Boy, you sure are a big ol' fella. Almost as pretty as my baby love, too." She gazed up into his eyes, and I laughed as his breath hitched and he shuddered.

I couldn't stand not having my hands on her another second and Emmett was making me nervous, so I stepped up behind her and pulled her back against me.

I felt her body fall against me with relief and happiness. It felt like home—she felt like home, and in that moment, I knew we could never be apart again. I leaned in and nuzzled my nose into her neck, needed her scent, her soft skin, all the stuff that made her so special.

"I can't believe you're here… that I'm finally here," I whispered, dragging my lips across her skin.

I wanted to fuck her. Hard. Fast. Dirty. I wanted to fuck her until there was no way of knowing we were two bodies.

I loved her so much—more than I even knew until I was there in her arms.

Emmett was still staring at us—disbelieving and confused.

"I told Mom that I didn't need a ride… this is why," I told him, kissing her bare shoulder. "We have a suite at the Regency."

He nodded. "Hell yeah you do."

He was struggling to keep his eyes to himself. I couldn't help but chuckle. She was a combination of every _Sports Illustrated_, every _Playboy_, and every cover girl we'd ever spanked it to. She was the girl those idiots from _Weird Science_ tried to create but failed.

She was motherfucking perfection.

I couldn't blame the guy for looking, I mean; she threw it all out there on a slab for everyone to slobber over. Her shorts were small enough to fit a toddler—so tight that I could see through the fabric, and the fact that they were white did nothing to conceal what was underneath—which happened to be a thong… thankyouverymuch. Her top, as usual, left nothing to the imagination. It was very purple, and very low cut. Underneath, her bra was working overtime, squashing and pushing her tits out front and center. A small necklace with a purple Popsicle dangled temptingly between them, begging me to dig in and get it like a Cracker Jack prize.

Her feet were adorn with simple rubber flip-flops, the same color as her top, and her toenails were painted pink with little yellow flowers on her big toes.

_Fucking adorable._

I wanted to play eenie meenie minie moe, and suck those toes until she moaned.

I mentally rolled my eyes. Only Bella Swan could cause me to develop a foot fetish.

"Does this suite thing got a bed? I'm ready to finally get our freak on. I'm so horny that I can't stand it anymore."

My brother's eyes bugged out, and I watched with humor as he wiped a drop of drool off his lips.

"The trailer… her… she… so you… wow!" he stuttered. I was afraid the poor guy was going to bust a vein, he was thinking so hard.

"You… Edward… not… you didn't… you're gonna… with her? Sex… what?"

"Calm the fuck down, Jesus!" I told him, shifting Bella under my arm. "You're embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend."

His eyes widened again and he stumbled back. "Girlfriend? Rose is going to flip out!"

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. She'll get used it."

Bella, still smiling up at me, leaned in to whisper in my ear. "How'd he know 'bout my house?"

I smiled. "I had him check it out, sweetheart. Nothing but the best for my girl."

"The best?" Emmett shouted. "That thing is a piece of shit! You live in that thing?"

Bella moved forward and put both hands on her hips. " 'Course I do, ya big ol' dummy, and don't you call my house no piece of shit. It's wonderful, and I love it. My man takes good care of me. I told him I wanted to live in a pink house one day, and now I do 'cause he loves me!"

Emmett took a step back, obviously not ready for a verbal beat down from Bella.

"Love?" he choked.

I looked down at her and my breath caught in my throat. _Fuck_… if there was another word—a better word—something bigger, stronger, more pertinent, I'd have used that one, but until I figured it out, Love was what it was.

"Absolutely."

He laughed, shaking his head. "Well, now I can say I've heard it all. Holy Fuck…"

Bella was already rubbing her ass against me like a cat in heat, so I bid my brother farewell and hauled my lovely little sex kitten off to our little love den.

When I left the reservation, Jake had my car towed into the next town to have it fixed. Once it was done, I gave it to Bella to drive until I got back. I didn't want her hoofing it or relying on Jake anymore. I needed her safe and in one piece.

After an exhausting, lengthy phone call, she finally managed to figure out how to use the GPS so she could find the airport. She'd been to the city before with her mom, but only once when she was little, so she had no idea how to maneuver the streets. She was a little freaked out about driving alone. I had a feeling she was going to have a hard time adapting to life outside of the woods, but I'd be there to show her the way.

I sighed when I saw my car sitting at the curb, a security officer standing behind it with his ticket book out.

"Bella, you parked in a red zone! This is for unloading only!"

I wasn't mad, but I wasn't exactly pleased, either. I would have been pissed if they'd have towed it away.

"I unloaded my damn self didn't I? I unloaded, so I ain't in the wrong spot. Cops are all damn woman hatin' bastards."

I had a feeling she was going to get us both locked up with that sassy little mouth, so I opened the door to the passenger side, and shoved her inside quickly.

"Sorry about that," I said, taking the ticket from the officer. "She's from out of town."

He grumbled something under his breath and went back to his motorcycle before speeding away. I pocketed the ticket, threw my luggage in the trunk, and hopped in the driver's seat.

I looked over at my girl, all sexy and smiling, and winked. "You ready, baby?"

She turned in her seat, pulling the seat belt lower so it fit underneath her boobs, and leaned toward me. "I've been ready since you drove away from me," she said, her eyes glistening with tears.

I reached forward, touching her cheek… remembering, cherishing… before pressing my lips to hers and letting my tongue sneak out to taste her.

_Like fucking honey._

I kissed her. It was softer than before, not rushed, but full of promises.

Horns blasted behind us, bursting our little blissful bubble.

"Fuck off!" I yelled out the window, putting the car in gear.

I looked over at her one more time, and the look on her face broke my heart. "Babe… don't give me that look…" I groaned. "You're turning me into such a pussy."

She smirked. "You ain't no pussy, Edward Cullen, you just love me's all. Now, hurry up and git us where we're goin' so I can show you how much I missed you. You made me wait long enough, now didn't ya."

My face flushed and my body heated. "It'll only take us ten minutes."

I peeled out of the airport, veered onto the highway, and zigzagged through the Friday afternoon traffic toward the Regency Hotel. I booked the Penthouse suite—only the best for my lady. I knew she'd appreciate the elegance and luxury of it, and I couldn't wait to share that part of my world with her.

I didn't want to shove my money in her face; I only wanted to share it with her, give her the finest things in life. She'd spent her whole life in that Podunk shit town, moving from trailer to trailer with her flake of a mother. She'd always had second best—hand me downs, and someone else's throw aways. It was time she was spoiled and fussed over, and treated like a queen.

As expected, when we drove up in front of the hotel, her eyes went wide and child-like.

"It's like a palace," she said, in awe.

The Regency did look like a palace. It was very European looking and elegant.

I knew she'd love it.

The valet swiped my keys and pulled our bags out of the trunk, placing them on the curb before pulling away to park.

I couldn't help but notice a rather small—at least for a girl—black bag, covered in big pink puckered lips.

"Is that all you brought?"

_I was confused._

She gave me her trademark stink-eye. "You don't even know what I got in there. I brought plenty of stuff, Fancy."

I had to take her word for it. After all, she was Bella. Fuck knew what went on in her head.

We made our way inside and she twirled around in a circle. "You gotta be kidding me! This ain't even real!"

She was something else—the expression on her face was priceless. It was moments like that one that I wanted to last forever. I wanted to be the one to take her places she'd never been, show her things she'd never seen and do things that she'd never done.

_One thing in particular…_

Just picturing her response to me when we finally made love was going to kill me… I just knew it.

My jeans were starting to get tight around the groin area and with a small jerk of my leg, I adjusted myself into a better position. With my hand in hers, being that close to a room of our own—with a huge fucking bed—I was getting harder and harder by the minute.

"Come on. Let's go see our room."

She turned and smiled, bouncing around on her toes. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Let's go."

Heads were turning, and people were looking- noses out of joint, but I didn't give two shits about those people. I was finally going to get my girl alone and kiss her properly, and hopefully, I'd get to make sweet, sweet, love to her—that was all that mattered to me.

The elevator ride was another priceless moment. She danced around to the music, almost giving some four-hundred year old fucker a heart attack.

We made it to the door, and I slid the keycard into the slot, which turned into another round of twenty questions as to why that was a key and how'd it work and why didn't they have real keys if they were such a fancy hotel…

_She was exhausting._

I finally pinned her against the wall and shoved my tongue in her mouth to shut her up. I then opened the door, moved her into the room without breaking contact, and slammed the door behind us.

I had her pushed down on the mattress of the king sized bed within minutes, licking my lips at the way she jiggled around as she settled.

"I missed you so much. I thought you'd never get back to me… it took _so_ long."

I hovered above her. "Too long."

"I like your brother," she giggled. "He's a little slow, though, isn't he?"

I laughed. "Baby, I think he was just is shock. He's not stupid."

She wrinkled her nose. "Well, he sure has a hard time tryin' to talk."

I swept my hand over her cheek. "You have a way of leaving men speechless, beautiful."

She tucked her chin. "You make me beautiful."

I was done talking. We'd done nothing but talk for months. I knew every television show she watched, her favorite brand of peanut butter, how many times she changed her nail polish color, how she got every scar, and nick on her body, and every other little detail about her. I knew she didn't know how to swim and she was afraid of ducks. I knew she was pigeon-toed as a kid and had to wear a brace, I knew she hated pickles and onions and loved bananas. I knew everything about her, and she knew everything about me.

The good, the bad, and the embarrassing.

At that moment, the only sounds I wanted to hear were moans and cries of pleasure. I wanted to kiss her until she was breathless, touch her until she was begging, and love her until she had no doubt that she was my entire life.

I let my body fall against hers and kissed her like a starving man. She felt so damn good underneath me. I'd almost forgotten how perfect it was to be with her.

We moved flawlessly together, tangled up in a mess of hands and legs—exploring. I'd barely gotten my hand up her top when she pushed me backwards.

"I'm… um…" I stuttered. I felt like a dick, pawing at her and pushing her.

Maybe she wasn't ready.

I wanted to die.

"Shhh," she whispered, pressing a finger to my lips. "Sit back, Fancy."

So… I did.

_And I watched._

She sat up on her knees and slowly pulled the top over her head, exposing the sexiest—dirtiest—piece of lingerie I'd ever seen. I wondered—only briefly since I had more important things on my mind—where the fuck they sold shit like that. As many of those things I'd seen in my young life, I'd never actually _seen_ one on a real girl. Maxim, Playboy, Hustler… yeah, but on a real set of boobs… a real,_ real,_ set of boobs… never.

"You want me to take it off, or do you want to do that part?"

I tried to answer, but could only nod. I just wanted the thing off.

Right the fuck now.

She reached behind her and unsnapped the bra, releasing her luscious tits from the confines of the overly lacy contraption. The blood drained from my face… there were no words to describe her…

Plump… soft… round_… fuck_! I just didn't know what to do first.

That was until she reached up, rubbing and tweaking at them as she looked at me with this _come hither_ look. That was it for me. I was a goner. I dove, face first into those bodacious globes, and went to town like a bloodhound in a butcher shop.

"I can't get enough," I moaned before pulling a sweet pink nipple into my mouth. I teased it with my tongue, flicking and rolling it as I sucked.

The grip she had on my hair was nearing painful, but I couldn't be bothered to ask her to stop. I liked it… it felt good.

I moved back and forth, giving each one the love they deserved. I was in heaven, but it still wasn't enough. I'd never get enough of her.

"I want to get you off."

I needed to give her an orgasm—like I needed to breathe, I needed to hear her scream my name. "Lay back for me, sweetheart."

She flopped back and quickly brought her legs up to remove her shorts, damn near taking my gonads out in the process.

"Slow down. We have plenty of time. I'm not leaving, remember?"

I watched as relief washed over her. "I know. I'm just so… I'm just anxious, I guess. I want you to touch me so bad… I'm about to pull my hair out!"

I laughed and kissed her nose. "You're so fucking cute, you know that? I love you."

I helped her remove her shorts, staring at her barely an eye-patch panties, before ripping them down her legs.

"Grrr," she growled, showing her teeth. "I like it when you get all feisty, my sexy man."

I pushed away for a moment, unfastening my watch and laying it on the bedside table. "God… where have you been all my life?"

Cheesiest fucking line ever, but seriously… where in the _fuck_ had she been?

"On the rez," she said, scrunching her nose. "Come on, hurry it up. Just whip that thing out already!"

Her toes dug into my jeans as she tried desperately to shove them down my legs. "Why are you being so shy? I want it, dang it all!"

I chuckled darkly. "You know what, woman? That mouth of yours is going to get you in a lot of trouble."

I moved down so that I was between her thighs, kneeling on the floor in front of her. I looked up at her and smiled. "Don't move, and for the love of god, keep your mouth shut."

She scowled until I ran my tongue up the slit of her pussy—front to back I swept, tasting and teasing her.

"Sweet baby Jesus on a rocking chair! Don't you stop, Edward Cullen!"

I would've laughed, had my mouth not been full of muff—but shit… I'd never had anyone call out my full name during sex before.

_Who does that?_

I dove back in, lapping and flicking my tongue wildly. She tasted divine, and felt like velvet on my tongue. I could have stayed right there forever.

"Wait… wait…" she panted.

I sat up, wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and frowned. "You don't like it?"

I thought I had been doing a pretty good job by the way it sounded, but she obviously wasn't into it.

"I wanna sit on your face so I can watch. Come on up here so I can hop on top."

Dr. Seuss flashed through my mind, and I shook my head to expel it.

"Damn… you are a naughty girl," I said, smirking. "Come on, babe… climb on."

I lay on my back and watched attentively as she climbed on top of me, letting herself rub against my dick as she did. With her legs on either side of my head, she lowered her hips until all I could see was pink.

I spread her with my fingers and pulled her clit between my lips, suckling gently. Slowly, I let my finger slip inside, caressing the soft skin inside. "Such a pretty pussy," I mumbled against her.

She threw her head back and gripped the sheets next to my head tightly. It was a good thing she was hanging on because I was ready to take her for the ride of her life. She wiggled, moaned, and squirmed under my ministrations, and it took all my strength to hold her ass down so I could give her my best shot. I was hardly a master of the oral—it was something I tried to avoid at all costs—but I wanted it with her. I was enjoying it, even. It felt so intimate, and I felt so close to her. I never, ever, wanted to stop.

Then, she clutched my head between her thighs and slammed me down. I couldn't breathe, and suddenly, I wasn't having that much fun anymore.

I tried to get her to loosen the hold she had on me, but she was lost—riding my face like her life depended on it. I had stopped all my efforts to get her off and was just trying to get some air. She must have thought that was all part of my routine because she was murdering my face.

I finally did the only thing I could at that moment, anything to get her off me.

I pinched her ass… hard.

Her head connected with the headboard and she screamed before punching the shit out of me with closed fists.

"Why'd you do that for, asshole?"

I rubbed my forehead. "Baby, you were strangling me!"

She put her hand over her mouth and gasped. "I'm so sorry, baby love!" She giggled and moved her angry kitty from my face. "That just felt so good, and I guess I got a little carried away."

She smiled down to her lap, lowering her eyes before looking back at me again. That shy, innocent shit was a trigger for me.

_She was so damn cute._

"Let's say we try that another time, okay?"

She looked disappointed. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea—I was definitely doing that later, but I was ready to come in my pants and I was tired of holding off.

_Foreplay shmoreplay._

I'd waited too long to be inside of her—I wasn't going to wait anymore.

I just figured that if I got her nice and ready before we did the deed, it wouldn't be as painful for her. If she cried, I would seriously lose my shit.

"There's plenty of time for that, okay. We have all week, and then the rest of our lives. All of this is new. We just have to figure it out."

She nodded. "Are we still gonna have some sex, though? I really wanna."

Thank God because if she wanted to fold and bow out, I was going to spend the rest of the night in the bathroom fucking myself.

I had some serious pent up sexual frustration going on, and blue balls were going to be the cause of my death if I didn't get some.

"I want to, more than anything. Are you sure?"

She touched my cheek with her fingertips and smiled. "You're the one."

Smiling, I returned the gesture. "You know this is it for me, right, Bella? Forever. You're all I want."

"I know it."

I lifted her chin so we were eye to eye.

"_Roses are red, _

_Violets are blue,_

_I'll spend every day_

_Making all your dreams come true."_

Yeah… I had turned into a sappy loser and I didn't give a shit.

I wrote her poems every day.

EVERY day.

She loved my corny poems. She liked it when I sang horrible love songs to her over the phone, and she loved my fucking poems.

She was my soul mate.

I was so soft and fluffy inside from the girl that I was surprised I didn't float. She made me happy, and all I wanted to do was make her happy.

"Then make love with me. I could get hit by a car and die a damn virgin by the time you finally give me some sex. Give it to me, damn it!"

I moved between her legs, settling myself on top of her.

"If it hurts can you tell me with your words and not your fists, please?"

I could just see her knocking my teeth out mid thrust.

_Not pleasant._

"I will… I promise. My Mama said just to take a deep breath and it'd be over real quick. Just do it."

Of course Nay-Nay had advice for her. I'd learned quite a bit—if not too much—about Nay-Nay.

Nay-Nay was a ho-bag. And a stripper.

Bella had at least a dozen step-daddies, had moved more than 16 times, and had numerous "uncles" to add to the list. She had nothing negative to say about Nay-Nay, though. It was as if it was all very normal to her. I figured that where she came from, it was.

Slowly, I slid into her, inching my way gently so I wouldn't hurt her. I swear I saw stars, fireworks, explosions… all that cliché shit movies blabbed about. All those things that never really happened in real life were happening to me.

Either that, or I was having a seizure.

She didn't make a peep. She held on to my shoulders and gazed up at me like I was a God. So much love and trust that it made me want to weep.

I sure as fuck felt like a God at that moment in time. I held the most important thing in the world in my arms.

I felt powerful.

I began to move my hips, just a little to see how she was doing. She started meeting my rhythm, so I pushed a little further, pulling her hip up over mine.

_So deep._

"Come on, Fancy! Harder! You ain't gonna break me!"

I was spurred on by the reappearance of the dirty mouth. I slammed my hips back down and groaned. "I'm not gonna last, Bella. It's too good."

Both of her legs wrapped around my hips as she rocked back and forth against me. "I never want you to stop! This is good, baby! Give me that sausage!"

My hips bucked wildly. "For the love of all that is holy! Never, _ever_, say sausage," I laughed. "God damn, you're a fucking nutcase!"

She looked so beautiful—sweaty, tits flopping around as I slammed in and out of her, wide eyes, and her bee-stung lips…

"This good, Bella? Do I fuck you good?"

She nodded quickly. "You're a good fucker, Edward. Such a good fucker."

I couldn't help it—I laughed again. "You're so lucky that I'm madly in love with you, otherwise, I'd throw your crazy ass out of her! Stop. Talking! Jesus!"

I was so close and I knew I was going to burst any minute. I moved my arms so that I could support her weight, and sat back on my knees, holding her on my lap by gripping her hips. The new angle let me hit her deeper, and I could grind against her clit with my pelvis at the same time.

"Thank you, God! Thank you! Thank you for this man, and his good lovin'," she screamed.

That was all I could take. I splayed my hands over as much ass as I could, and squeezed down, holding her still as I lost it, blasting her full of everything I had. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her shoulder as I came down.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized. "I love you so much, I just couldn't help it."

She giggled. "It tickles… let me up."

I realized that she was probably uncomfortable since I'd just pumped her full of four months worth of spludge. "Let's take a bath. Would that be nice?" I asked her, brushing her sweaty bangs out of her face.

"Okay. Thank you, Edward. It was just perfect and romantic."

I wasn't sure about romantic_, but if she said so…_

I led her into the bathroom and heard her gasp when she saw the Jacuzzi tub. "Y'all have to be kidding me! We got a swimmin' pool in here? I feel like we're in Beverly Hills or soemthin'. Are we gonna take a dip?"

I shook my head and blinked. She was standing in front of me, bouncing on the balls of her feet, causing her ass to do these amazing things… and I was hard _again_.

"Does it hurt?" I asked, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her back against me.

She shook her head. "No. I feel… good. I want you to do it again, kay?" She lifted her head and smiled over her shoulder at me. "Are we gonna do it again?"

I took a shuddered breath. I wondered if I'd even live through the night the way we were going. "How'd you like it if we… did it in there?" I pointed at the tub and pushed myself into her back.

Bella wet and naked on top of me was something I wanted… bad.

"Yay!"

_Always so enthusiastic._

Once we were dry and warm in bed, I decided it was time to talk. There was a lot we had to figure out. Where we were going to live, what we wanted to do with our future, how she was feeling… For a girl to hitch her ponies to a guy she'd only known a few days, I knew she really wanted me… us, but I wanted to makes sure that she knew what she was getting herself into.

Our worlds were very different. There was only about one hundred miles between our hometowns, but it may as well been a thousand. As crazy as her family and friends were, mine were crazy in their own way. It was the other spectrum of crazy, but crazy nonetheless.

Her family killed animals so they could eat.

And then they stuffed them and hung them like trophies.

My family paid twenty-five hundred bucks a plate to save baby seals.

Her family lived in homes you could hitch to cars.

My family owned cars you could live in.

They were Dixie plates, and we were Waterford.

Not that any of it mattered. I loved her. It made no sense, but I did.

I knew I'd never find anyone as compatible as Bella. She was the perfect woman for a guy like me. First of all, she was smoking hot. Definitely a bonus, but, the best parts of her weren't' her tits and ass… it was her heart and spirit that made me love her.

She'd take care of me, and let me take care of her in return.

I was a spoiled rich kid. I was used to being babies and given my way. Bella liked being there for me and I was sure that one day, she'd make a great wife and mother.

She was also spunky. Mean, sometimes, but it was so sexy. She kept me on my toes—something I needed. It made me feel alive.

Other girls just went along with whatever I said, so I never really knew them at all. Not like I cared. I'd been a selfish prick, interested in only one thing. Even Kate, who I thought was different, was the same as the others. Games… they all played games and I was sick of it.

I wanted pussy and they wanted my cash.

It was all a joke.

With Bella, it was different. She paid attention to me. She wanted to know if I liked it when it rained, or if I preferred my coffee sweet or black. She also ordered me around, said asinine things constantly and dressed like she was a low rent porn star, but she also had a heart of gold and a body like Venus.

I'd found myself a very unique woman.

Like a fucking Unicorn.

How my parents would react was in the back of my head, but I didn't want to dwell on it. She wasn't going anywhere, and neither was I.

* * *

><p><strong>End Note:<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**AN: NOT BETA'D READ AT YOUR OWN RISK**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEET CECILE! THIS IS FOR YOU MY LOVE, AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY! I LOVE YOU LOTS AND LOTS WITH SUGAR ON TOP! MWAH!**

* * *

><p>I'd been so busy fantasizing about the hot monkey sex that I didn't see the bathroom door open or Bella step out.<p>

"Holy… motherfuck," my brother gasped.

My eyes snapped up and I was stunned stupid by what I saw. She blushed and I wondered how she managed to look bashful while looking like hot liquid sex. She drove me insane.

"Oh shit… that's um… wow. That's quite a dress," Rosalie sniggered, elbowing me in the side.

She leaned toward me, and whispered in my ear. "You should call the fire department and make sure they're on standby. She's going to give your dad a stroke, and flat out kill your mother in that dress."

I pinched my eyes closed and groaned. "I asked you to talk to her on the phone—to tell her what she should wear!"

"I did. I think she took it literally. Her idea and my idea of a little black dress are _very_ different," Rose smirked.

Shaking my head, I got up and made my way over to Bella, standing in front of her and holding her arms out to the side. "Damn, baby… you look… smoking hot."

She looked nervous and I hated that I'd made her feel that way. "You don't like it?" She looked down at the carpet and frowned.

"It's not… I do like it, a lot… it's just… are you even wearing a bra?"

The thing looked like an ace bandage; barely coving the bits of her I liked the best.

"Course I ain't wearing no bra! That's just tacky!"

"Funny, I thought the opposite was true," Rosalie snorted.

"Girl, you always talk in circles," Bella griped. "You said little black dress, and here ya have it. This is the littlest one I could find!"

God… I loved her.

"Bella, don't get mad at Rosalie… I think what she meant for you to buy was something similar to what she's wearing," I said, waving toward Rose.

Her face twisted with disgust. "That thing's just plain ol' ugly. That's fine for someone old, like her, but not me. Plus, she ain't got no body. I'd look like a pumpkin shoved in a tube sock in that ol' grama dress. I need me some lycra."

Instead of getting mad, like I expected her to, Rosalie busted up laughing.

"If I had that ass, I'd buy stock in the shit. Trust me, I'm super jealous, but these events are just really… formal. We're going to have to cover you up a little. We can work with it… come on."

Bella gave me a frightened look and I shrugged. "She's just trying to help. It's like I explained to you… things are very different here, okay?"

She bit her lip and nodded, then followed Rose into the bathroom.

"How do you do it, bro? I mean… Jesus! I'd sell Rosalie off to the black market in a heartbeat to get my hands on that! Seriously… it's getting difficult being around her."

I growled. "You really are a dirty pig, you know that? What's unbelievable is that there was a time when I thought you were normal. Please remember that she is _not_ a woman I'm merely fucking… she's the woman I'm in love with. You need to control your mouth."

He held his hands up in front of him. "So testy! Jesus. It's a complement. You might want to settle down."

"Yeah, well, she's also sweet and kind and can be really mean, but those are all reasons why I love her. She's genuine and she deserves respect, so give it to her and I won't kick your ass."

My brother's fascination with Bella was getting weird. He needed to get his shit together, quick.

"You know, you're a little psycho over this girl, Edward. It's scaring me, seriously. They do voodoo down there, maybe it's all a trick."

I laughed. Loudly.

"You're an idiot. Do me a favor and don't open your mouth anymore. You just make yourself look stupid."

I pulled at the neck of my dress shirt, cursing lame banquets, horny brothers, and fucking tuxedos, and especially uptight parents.

Bella was going to be pissed. I knew her, and I hated it. God only knew what Rose was doing to her in there. In my eyes, she looked fine, so that should have been good enough for everyone else. I was putting an end to it. I walked over to the room where Rosalie had Bella and banged on the door.

"Come out," I ordered.

Rose pulled the door open immediately and scowled. "What do you want? We're busy, and we're already late!"

I shook my head. "Don't touch a hair on her head. Don't change one damn thing," I insisted, pushing past her.

Bella was sitting on the vanity bench in the bathroom, almost in tears. I kneeled in front of her and pulled her hands to hold in mine.

"You okay?"

She scowled. "Hell no. That heifer is tryin' to make me look like a G.D. old maid like her. I ain't wearing nothin' ugly."

I pursed my lips so I wouldn't laugh out loud. "You're definitely not an old maid, baby. You're beautiful, like a plump peach."

She smirked. "You like my plump peach."

I snarled and attacked her lips. "Yes, I do and I'm gonna eat that peach tonight… slurp up every bit of that sweet nectar."

She moaned and clawed at my suit.

"Okay… yeah… I'm going to go throw up now. What the hell, ugh!" Rosalie complained. "That can never be reversed, like… I can't unheard that!" She squealed before darting out of the room.

I chuckled. "She's just jealous. Her's probably looks like a dried up prune."

Bella giggled. "I wanna do you right now. I don't know if I'll last all night without some of you."

My groin agreed. The way I was bent down on one knee was not optimal for dick comfort—especially at the rate I was going.

"Please, my love… you have to stop saying shit like that. Save the naughty thoughts for when we're all alone."

She smoothed her hand over my chest and down my stomach until her palm was flat against my pants.

"Bella… we can't. We have to go."

She nodded. "Sure we can. Don't even take your clothes off and it'll be faster. Just pull yer pecker outta the hole in yer pants and I'll sit on ya. I'll make you come real fast, I promise."  
>Yeah, there was no reason to even pretend not to want it. I fell back on my ass, undid my belt, and pants as fast as I could and whipped out old faithful. She was on her knees, straddling my legs before my zipper was even down, so I yanked her up, and she impaled herself on my cock.<p>

"Fuck… no panties, either," I panted, lifting my hips off the floor to meet her movements.

"No panty-lines, honey. I don't want to look like I got no class."

Whatever.

Didn't care why… just happy they weren't there.

"Come on, girl. Make this happen. Ride me."

And then she did. Like a Rhinestone Cowgirl, she giddy-upped and bucked and fucked and bounced and slid until I was tensing and coming with a hard grunt.

A loud pounding on the door, followed by my brother's voice startled me.

"You're a sick fuck, Edward. We're leaving without you. I'll send the limo back after it drops us off."

I chuckled. "Were you listening, pervert? Learn anything?"

"Drop dead, asshole."

The sound of the door slamming made me laugh harder. "What a pussy."

Bella gave me a smile, so sweet that it warmed my heart. Her chest was flushed and splotchy, something that happened each time we made love. It was so pretty.

"I gotta wipe," she said bluntly.

I snorted. "You know, usually girls say "I'm going to the ladies' room" when they need to do that.

She got up abruptly, causing my flaccid cock to flop against my leg. "Hey," I yelled.

"Um… I'm in the ladies room, or whatever, balls for brains."

I grabbed the hand towel that was hanging above my head and cleaned myself up. I cursed, noticing that I'd gotten come on my tuxedo pants. I wiped them off and asked Bella to help me up.

"I think you broke my legs," I laughed.

She pulled on my arms and helped me stand. "You look so handsome like this, fancy. You look best dressy."

I smiled. "Thank you. You look very nice, Bella. This dress looks so pretty on you."

She looked down and smiled. "I wanted to look pretty for you. I want yer mama and daddy to think I'm pretty, too."

"I have no doubt that you'll blow them away, baby. You're gorgeous. They'll love you. I promise."

They'd probably be speechless at first, but I knew once they got to know her, it'd be easy for them to fall for her like I did.

It only took us a few minutes to put ourselves together, and then we headed downstairs to wait for the limo.

"This is so lame. I could've driven to the house. It's not that far," I grumbled.

"Speak for yourself, Fancy. I've been itchin to see a real limousine. I can't wait to ride in it."

I shot her a quick look to the side. I couldn't wait to ride inside_ her_ again. Maybe I'd ride in her while she rode in the limo.

Two birds. One stone. It was the kind of guy I was.

I watched as she dug around in the giant sparkly purse she'd brought, looking for god only knew. It was bright pink with little black mud flap girls on it, and rhinestone hearts. It was like she worked overtime looking for the ugliest, blingyest crap she could find.

My mom was going to have a coronary over that purse. Forget the dress—mom was a purse snob.

Finally, the limo showed up=a showy, ostentatious stretch with a pompous ass chauffer that I knew all too well.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen, I see you found a date while you waited."

I growled. "Just open the door and stand there. No one pays you to run your mouth, Felix."

I ushered Bella in front of me, away from his ogling eyes and meaty hands. He was a weasel, and he hated my guts.

"If I shut my mouth, I couldn't tell this lovely lady how beautiful she is. I'm Felix."

He went to grab her hand and I snatched it away. "Don't touch her, you ingrate."

He chuckled. "Ms. Swan, isn't it?"

I stopped in my tracks and Bella pulled her head out of the doorway where she was climbing in.

"How you know my name?"

He laughed, his eyes dancing between the two of us. "You don't remember me? I'm hurt." He covered his heart with his hand. "I knew your mom… when she still worked at the Twilight Lounge."

She furrowed her brow. "That was a long time ago. She's been working at New Moon Saloon for over eight years. How'd you know it was me?"

He gave her a long once over, lingering on the parts I used for pillows and smiling creepily. "The resemblance is… uncanny. Head to toe, you are definitely Nay-Nay's daughter."

He licked his lips and I snapped. "You're fired. Take a hike."

I pulled Bella to the passenger side door and shoved her inside—nicely of course—and ran around the side to hop in the driver's seat.

"Edward, have ya lost yer good godamn mind? You can't just steal that ol' guy's car!"

I sped away from the curb, leaving Felix standing at the curb. "I always knew there was something wrong with that guy." I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed my dad.

He picked up on the first ring, and he was _pissed._

"Edward, I don't know what you're trying to pull, but you need to get your ass to the party, now. Your mother is about in tears."

I rolled my eyes.

Over dramatic, much?

"Dad, I'm exactly thirteen minutes late. Relax. I just wanted to let you know that I fired Felix."

"What?" he yelled. "Are you… Edward… my blood pressure is through the roof, you told me you'd behave."

"I am!" I yelled. "He's a dirty old bastard and he was leering at my girlfriend!"

He hummed. "We'll deal with this later. Hurry along, you know how mother gets."

"Yeah, yeah, like she doesn't have a freaking party every weekend. I'm sure she'll survive."

I slammed the phone down and sighed. "If I beg you to just… ignore these people tonight, will you do it? Just… don't leave my side if you can help it."

She scowled. "You act like I'm a china doll, Fancy. You know darn well I could prolly mop the floor with your ass. I can take care of myself."

I gave her a soft smile. "I know, but I want to take care of you. Your' my sweet girl and I don't want anyone talking shit to you."

"You're so good to me, Fancy," she giggled. "Too bad you fired that driver guy 'cause I wanted to give you a hummer in the backseat. Oh well."

I frowned. "By the end of the night, baby, we'll fuck in this car. Mark my words."

**QMC**

We arrived in front of my parent's house, and sat in the line of cars dropping off guest at the valet. "You know what, screw this."

I careened around and darted back out on the street, making my way to the back side of the property. There was a small patch of grass where I could park, and it wouldn't be too far to walk to the house.

"Are you ready, Bella?"

She grinned. "Yup. Is there gonna be food at this party? There better be, I'm starving."

She was going to freak when she saw the spread my mom always had out for these things. "There will be plenty of food, sweets. It'll be fun."

She nodded and got out of the car, waiting for me on the other side. "I was going to get your door, why didn't you wait?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're so nice all the time. You don't have to do that every time, ya know. It takes a bunch of time. I can do it."

Of course she could.

As we got closer to the house, my palms began to sweat. This was a big deal for me. I'd never brought a girl home. I'd taken girls that were already at my house to the basement, but I'd never brought one home—and never one that meant so much. I felt grown up, like I was finally becoming a man. Bella was it for me; the girl I wanted everyone to know stole my heart. It was thrilling, and scared the shit out of me.

We walked in, and I noticed the stares and whispers. I wasn't sure what they were whispering about, whether it was the fact that I had a girl on my arm, as a date, or that my date looked like Pretty Woman. Didn't matter. I was a peacock, strutting my stuff and holding my girl.

I spotted my parents right away, and boy did they spot me. My dad looked like he needed blood, as all the color washed off his face, leaving him pale and sickly. My mother's hand came up to cover her mouth and her eyes were as wide as saucers.

Yeah… I was in for it.

We stood in front of them, and I pulled Bella close. "Mom, Dad, this is my Bella. Bella… these are my parents."

Bella pulled away from me and lunged at my mom, making her squeak like a frightened mouse. "Oh my goodness! I'm so happy to finally meet you!"

My mom gave me a pleading look over Bella's shoulder and I just smiled like an idiot. I wanted to weep, seeing my mother and my girl embrace. It felt right… it was perfect.

My dad was sputtering and opening and closing his mouth like a big mouth bass. "Yer his daddy? Why, you're a looker, just like my fancy. Gimme some sugar, Daddy."

She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. He groaned… _groaned_ and pinched his eyes closed tightly.

I grabbed Bella by the waist and pulled her away. My fucking dad…

"Dang, you smell so good," she said, giggling. "Y'all must get some real fancy soap 'round here. Fancy smells pretty, too."

My mom shook her head a few times, probably trying to figure out if she was dreaming. "Bella… it's… um… nice to finally meet you as well."

Bella smiled up and me and leaned into my shoulder. "I thought I'd just die waitin' for him to come home. Now we can live happily ever after, finally."

My mom's face blanched. "Oh God, you're not pregnant are you? Edward?"

Bella giggled. "No, not yet. I could be… but, it'd take about another week to find out. He just popped my cherry two days ago."

My mother gasped.

My father choked.

I groaned.

Fuck. My. Life.

"Oh, but don't you worry, Mrs. Cullen. He was real tender and gentle with me. He loves me so much; I just know we'll have some little un's any time now."

My mother clenched her heart through her designer silk dress, and stumbled backwards.

"Good God almighty," she gasped again, looking horrified, and a little ill.

"Mom… chill. We're not… God… she just says shit sometimes. Calm down."

I leaned down and smiled at Bella. "Honey, you can't talk about sex around my parent's. This is a sex free zone, okay?"

She looked confused. "O-kay. I was just sayin…"

I rolled my eyes. I know you were, baby. You're fine. They just don't talk about it."

She looked at them and cocked her head. "Don't y'all have sex? It's all natural, ya know. We're just supposed to have it."

I gave them a weak smile. "So… yeah, this is my girlfriend."

"Edward… a word, please." My mother turned on her heels and marched away, storming past the dozen or so people that were standing around eavesdropping. My dad still hadn't taken his eyes off Bella and I poked him in the chest.

"You're grossing me out, perv. Stop looking at her like that."

He looked quickly at me, back at her, and then to me again. "I can't… she… wow… she's um." He cleared his throat and shook his head.

"I need a drink."

He too, turned and walked away.

Bella looked confused, and I didn't blame her. They were acting stupid. "Can you wait right here for a minute? I'll go see what she wants and then come right back."

She nodded, bit down on her lip and twisted her ankle. "Okay."

She didn't look happy, but was I supposed to do?

I went in the direction my parents went off to and geared myself up for a lashing. I was ready. Whatever they had to dish out, I was ready to dish right back. They could say nothing that would change my mind about Bella. Nothing they could do would make me love her any less. I started to think that it was probably a bad idea keeping my real feelings about Bella from them because it wouldn't have been so awkward.

When I entered my father's study, my mom was pouring a glass of Vodka with a shaky hand, while I father sat pawing at his hair like he had lice.

"I really can't believe you were so rude to her. She's my guest… my girlfriend. I expected you guys to welcome her, and you act like she's a leper."

I was angry, and it wasn't the way to start the conversation, but Jesus… they had to understand.

"Edward, I understand you're enjoying this… dalliance, but honestly, Edward. What are you doing?"

I gritted my teeth. "You don't even know her. Give her a chance before you judge her."

My mother took a huge gulp of her drink and set the glass down. "She seems like a very sweet girl, but I don't see where this is going. I don't think you should string her along, Edward. She's positively besotted."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever she feels for me, I feel it ten-fold. I love her, Mom. A lot. This is not some little plaything I picked up. I'm telling you that I'm in love."

My dad groaned and shook his head. "Well, I always said it'd take a special girl… and, I'd say she's special all right." He stood and smiled. "Edward, as long as you're happy, we're happy. Just be prepared for the ramifications."

My mother set her shoulders and nodded. "I'll do my best to make her comfortable. I want o get to know her, so I will give her my best efforts."

I smiled. "Thank you. I appreciate it, and you'll love her. She's a little unfiltered when it comes to things, but she's just real. Bella doesn't bullshit."

My dad laughed again. "I have a feeling this is going to be a very interesting evening. We should get back out there. I don't think it's a good idea to leave her alone."

I agreed. "Those vultures will peck her to death."

When we entered the main room, I stumbled in my tracks. Bella was standing next to Rosalie, and surrounded by the socialite posse—including Kate. My heart started beating so fast that I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. God only knew what those bitches were capable of.

As I got closer, Rosalie caught my eye and gave me a small nod, letting me know that everything was fine. I wasn't convinced, and sped up to get to my girl and save her. My parents were sidetracked by some of their friends, so I took the opportunity to leave them.

As I walked up, I could hear Kate talking, shrill and nasally, and I wondered how I ever found her attractive. She had a beak of a nose, her face was too slight, her lips flat and eyes dim. Her body was skeletal, and I scoffed, thinking of the times I'd compliment her physique. Her tits were good sized, but they were fake and sat awkwardly smack dap in the middle of her chest.

"What school do you go to, Bella?"

"I don't go to school. I was gonna go to beauty school, but ya gotta drive a long way to get there, so I decided not to."

Kate pursed her lips and nodded over to her fake ass friend. "You did go to high school, though, didn't you?"

Bella nodded. "Yeah, for a while. I got sick of it, though, so I quit."

Kate threw her hair over her shoulder and I felt my mother's hand on my back. When I looked over at her, she gave me a sympathetic smile. "If she can handle these girls, you will have no problems. Don't worry so much."

"I was almost Valedictorian, but Edward stole it from me. I did end up top of the class, though."

Bella nodded. "He didn't steal mine. I gave it to him. Gave it right up."

Rosalie snorted and shook her head, trying hard not to laugh straight out. "What do you mean? If you didn't graduate from high school, you can't be a Valedictorian."

Bella laughed. "You don't have to go to school to be a one, and for your info, it's called Vir-Gin, not Vala-dick-tearin."

Rosalie lost it and I heard my mother whimper. My dad snickered, covering it up with a cough and I groaned. It looked like Kate was about to lose her glass of wine—knowing her, the only thing she'd put in her mouth in over twenty-four hours.

"You're with Edward? Like, with him? And when exactly were you a virgin, nine years ago!" She was borderline hysterical, and when she looked up and saw me standing there, she turned pale.

"Is this the whore you were with when you stood me up? You are really low class, Edward Cullen."

I smirked. Fuck her. She was jealous, and I didn't really care what she said. She was old news… and I was definitely glad I never banged that bag of sticks after all.

I preferred big bags of marshmallows, myself.

A lot.

"Yes, she's with me. Now, fuck off."

She scowled. "I always heard you were into gold-diggers, but you really dug deep in the trailer park for this one, didn't you." She cackled and stormed off. I was glad to see her go.

I reached for Bella's arm and pulled her into me. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Boy, that girl is dumber than Jake, and that's saying a mouthful. What a bimbo."

I laughed, loudly. "Come on. I want to dance with you. Please?"

She tipped her head and looked to the side. "I'm hungry. Can we eat first?"

I led her to the banquet table and the audience she gathered made me cringe. My girl could eat, and she liked it. In this crowd, ladies didn't eat. They nibbled. They also did so when no one was watching. But no… not my baby… she was piling her plate so full, and shoving finger food in her mouth as she went. From time to time, I'd see her slip something in her big magic bag, and turned to see that my mom had caught it as well. I didn't care. I didn't get it, but I didn't care. If she wanted to turn that hideous thing into a doggy bag, I was all for it.

We finally found a seat and she gobbled down her meal, pausing to feed me in between bites. That made my mother smile, and I knew she was coming around. Every time Bella smiled, my mom did too. She was seeing the girl—the one under that scandalous dress, and as long as she approved, I was a happy guy.

Sitting at the table with my brother and my dad was hard, though. They were both panting with their tongues out like one of those Looney Tunes dogs. It was grating on my last nerve. Finally, my mother had had enough.

"Dear, close your mouth. You're attracting flies." She elbowed him, not gently, in the ribs and smiled sweetly at me.

I mouthed "thank you" and smiled.

"So, Bella, what do you do down there on the reservation? I hear it's quite beautiful down there." My mom smiled encouragingly and Bella set her fork on her plate to answer.

"I work at the Quickie-Mart. That's where I met Fancy, I mean, Edward. I was Employee of the Month for the last six months. They give ya a free supper at the Denny's when you get it, and put yer picture on the wall."

She smiled, proudly and I was absolutely beaming.

My girl was Employee of the Month.

"That's wonderful, dear. What do you plan on doing in the future, as a career?"

Bella smiled over at me and I gave her an encouraging nod. "I always wanted to be an Avon lady, but then I found out ya can get a pink car if ya sell Mary-Kay, so Edward sent me some money and I bought me a kit. I already sold forty-dollars worth last week. It'll take me no time to get that Cadillac. I'll be rollin'."

My mother's smile fell, but she caught herself quickly and smiled, somewhat forced, and nodded. "Well… um, that's wonderful. I'm sure you're mother is happy that you are working toward such a lovely goal. Mary-Kay has done wonderful things for women in business."

Of course, my mother probably knew everything that had to do with the business because that was bottom line. She didn't even understand that Bella just wanted the bag, the make-up, and the freaking pink car.

"Nah, she thinks I'm wasting my time."

My mother frowned. "Is she unhappy that you're not furthering your education?"

Bella shook her head. "No, she wants me to work with her. She thinks we could make a gwop of cash if we worked as a team. It's not for me, though."

My mother's eyes brightened. I knew what she was thinking, and she was in for another rude awakening.

"Oh, your mother is a businesswoman? That's wonderful."

"She's a stripper, but she does handle her business, at least, that's what she always says."

My dad choked again, and Emmett jumped behind him to give him the Heimlich. "You should never swallow such big pieces of meat, Mr. Cullen," Bella cried, running over to his side. That only made him choke harder.

"Please don't die, Daddy Cullen. I was so happy that I'd finally have a daddy of my own!"

A piece of half-chewed filet shot across the table and landed on my plate, grossing me the fuck out. I stood, went over to check on my dad, and patted him on the back. "You all right, old man?"

He nodded. "That's what you get for being a dirty old bastard," I laughed. "Come on, Baby… let's dance."

We went out to the dance floor, and I held her close as Frank Sinatra belted out his croony tunes.

"This music sucks. I can't dance to this stuff," she huffed.

"Shh. This is supposed to be romantic. Be nice."

She laid her head on my chest and we swayed to the music, quietly, finally.

"I love you, Bella. I'm really sorry those bitches were mean to you. You'll have to get used to it, though, being with me. These people aren't always nice."

She giggled. "She was a milli-second from a beat down, I'll tell ya that. Nobody talks smack about my man. I guess being ugly and skinny like a boy is punishment enough for her."

I laughed, pushed her back so I could see her pretty face and smiled. "I do, ya know. I love you more and more every day."

Her starry eyes glittered and I felt compelled to do something… important, life changing, and permanent. My knees gave out, and I kneeled in front of her, barely noticing my whole family surrounding us.

I looked up into her face, and knew that without a doubt, I was making the right decision.

"Baby, what are ya doin' down there? You can't look up my skirt right now… you said no sex 'til we get back to the limo!"

I bend my head and shook it. "Bella, you gotta shut up for five seconds. Please."

She scowled, but as I pulled the tiny box from my pocket… the one I'd picked up not long after I left her on the reservation, realization washed over her and her mouth miraculously snapped shut.

"This is crazy, but so are we… I love you, Bella. So much. With all my heart…

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_I want to be with you forever, _

_So please say, I do."_

I opened the small box and revealed the oversized diamond, bigger and better for my Bella—nothing less would do.

"Oh, no he didn't!" I heard Rosalie say.

"Somebody bring me a fucking drink," my mother grumbled.

My father chuckled.

My brother was speechless.

Bella… was crying.

"Don't cry, sweetheart…"

She shook her head. "I do! Yes! I'm gonna marry you, Edward! I love you so much, honey bear!"

And then, in the middle of the room, in front of my family, all their friends, the wait staff and an over-priced DJ, she yanked me up by my lapels, wrapped her legs around my waist, and kissed me… promising to become mine… forever.

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><p><strong>AND THERE YOU HAVE IT... <strong>

**I HAVE AT LEAST TWO MORE IN THE WORKS... I'LL POST AS SOON AS MY LAZY ASS TYPES THEM UP :) **

**LOVES AND KISSES TO YOU ALL!**

**xo**

**J'ME**


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN**

**AN:**

**Here's a little update... hope you enjoy :)**

**Thank you so much for reading, once again. Love you all.**

* * *

><p>As I drove up to the house, I noticed the neighbors standing out front. We lived in a pretty nice neighborhood, kind of snobby, but it was clean and quiet and close to everything. The house we lived in was smaller than I'd originally wanted, but Bella fell in love with the front yard and the little wooded fence that surrounded it, so we bought it. As if I could deny her anything.<p>

That included painting the trip and shutters pink, as well as the awnings, the mailbox, and the garage door… pink.

I'd only lasted about six weeks on the reservation, living in the trailer with Bella when I'd finally had enough. We had to move, and not only because I couldn't eat another pot of possum stew, or look at Jake's ass crack anymore, but because school was staring up and I would never be able to make the drive every day.

We ended up finding a nice little cozy two bedroom house in a small suburb. She was hesitant, hated the idea of living in a house, but when I agreed to let her bring her trailer with her, she folded.

So, that was where we were. Happily setting up house. Things had been hectic between getting ready to get back in the state of mind of school, and planning for our wedding. Thankfully, cohabitation had suited us just fine. She was a handful, but she was also an amazing "housewife." The house was always clean, food was always prepared, and the best part was that we had constant access to each other, so sex was on the agenda twenty-four seven. I dreaded the day when I would have to go to school and leave her all day, but knew that the moment I got home, I'd have a hot meal on the table, and an even hotter piece of ass for dessert.

My parents hadn't given me as hard of a time as I thought they would about the hasty proposal, or my choice of bride. Yeah… it took them a little time to wrap their heads around it, but they finally saw that I was deeply in love, and happier than I'd ever been in my life. I felt like I was finally the man I was supposed to be, and with Bella at my side, my life would be full of joy and I was content.

The one thing that was causing some dissension was the wedding. Bella wanted a traditional Quileute wedding, and even though I had no idea what all that entailed, I knew it would drive my mother into an early grave.

She'd already looked into the Plaza, the country club, the garden estate of an old friend… she was driving me crazy. She'd also made an appointment at some ritzy wedding shop in New York and was flying Bella out so they could find a wedding dress. Was I a little nervous about my mother taking Bella out of the state… on a plane? Fuck yes I was. God only knew what kind of mischief she'd get into, and frankly, I wasn't sure my mother could handle her by herself.

I could barely handle her.

They didn't get Bella, and they were definitely concerned about my house. If my school buddies could've seen me… holy shit. Fists would be flying, that was for sure. I cringed just thinking about them seeing it. The thing was—I wasn't ashamed of being a pussy about my girl—in fact, I felt lucky. The house was just a house to me, a place to warm my bones and lay my head at the end of the day. The house was about her. She'd never had one—a real home==and I wanted her to make it hers. If she was happy, then I was happy. The only thing that made me happy was her, anyway.

So… if they laughed at my house, they laughed, but the joke was on them. No one… not one person I knew, got to tuck themselves in next to the goddess I did, and that's where I laughed.

Ha. Freaking. Ha.

I had to remind myself to break when I reached the edge of the driveway the second I saw Bella in the yard. There she was, ass in the air, next to nothing on, digging in the dirt.

She did have a knack with the garden, but I guess that went with living in the middle of a forest. Or not. It didn't matter. I just liked seeing her in her diggin' clothes, as she called them, all hot and sweaty and dirty.

She was motherfucking delicious.

Apparently, my neighbors thought so, too.

My next door neighbor—this creep Tyler and his stuck up wife that we'd named the Sea Hag, were nosey and stuck up and nothing but phonies. When we'd first moved in, they'd thrown a huge fit about Bella's trailer being parked out front. The thought it was an eyesore, illegally parked, unhitched, and on and on.

It was tough shit. Besides, we needed it in order to visit Nay-Nay because I refused to stay in the same place as Jake. Not only did I not trust the guy, he bugged me, and with his litter of mutts running around, there was never a moment of peace.

Nay-Nay was a totally different story. She was sweet as pie and even though I knew she never meant to make me feel uncomfortable, I always did. She was very openly sexual, very provocative, and completely off her rocker. She was also beautiful, a body to rival her daughters, but she was also my soon to be mother-in-law, future grandmother to my children, and my eyes couldn't take it anymore.

I tried most of the time to avoid looking in her direction, but I couldn't just ignore her, either. She loved me a lot and wanted to pour that special Nay-Nay sugar on me all the time. Try hiding a boner when you're girlfriends half-naked mother leans down to hug you at the kitchen table in the morning and her boobs are rubbing in your face.

That's what I thought…

She loved doting on me, making me special meals, ironing my clothes, making sure the newspaper was sitting on the table in the morning with my morning coffee… I mean, a man could really get used to two gorgeous scantily clad women waiting on them hand and foot, but the fact that one of said women was Nay-Nay, sort of soured it all for me quickly.

Visiting was great, though. A little bit of the boonies went a long way. So… the trailer stayed, and the nosey neighbors could suck it. Bella loved it, and I loved her.

Eat shit Suburbia.

But, as much as Tyler and Sea Hag hated my house and my trailer, Tyler loved my wife. Watching my wife, rather.

But, I'd had a crappy day and Tyler and his lookie-lou buddies were on my last nerve.

Eric, the bald divorced dude across the street, Marcus, the uppity orthodontists with the bitter PTA wife, the poor sucker two houses down, Garrett, with his miserable bratty kids and even more miserable and way past her good by date wife… they were all shitty bastards.

Night after night, I found them pretending to water their lawns, trying to jog, walking their fruity poodles, or washing their cars. Those guys only came outside for one reason and one reason only. My Bella.

Lord help her, she was oblivious to what was going on. She smiled and waved, cut flowers from her garden to share with their bitch ass wives, baked cookies for their heathen kids, and all the while, shaking her bacon in their starving faces.

And yeah… there was no love lost where I was concerned. They hated me. I was the guy they wanted to be, but would never get to be. I had money, good looks, a hot fiancé, and a promising career. They'd already given up on their dreams, poor bastard; so instead, they came out day after day to perv on my girl.

I was sick of it. She couldn't help the way she looked… I mean, yeah, she could've covered up more, but why should she have to? It was all on them for objectifying her. She wasn't dressing like that for them, no matter what lame twisted fantasy world they were living in told them. That was just her and damn it… she was mine.

"Hey Fucker," I yelled as I got out of the car and charged across the lawn toward him. "Take your douchie little gay dog and go back in the house, or I'll drop kick that yappy piece of shit across the street!"

His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.

"You heard me. Stop looking at her!" He must have been in shock, or just suicidal. I'd had a shitty day full of tests I hadn't been prepared for, speeding ticket on the way to class, stale coffee, and these gawking motherfuckers were going to pay for it.

I was sick, sick, sick, sick, sick of it.

I grabbed the hose from Bella and pulled the trigger on the spray gun, inching my way toward him and blasting him in the face.

"Are you awake now? Go inside! This ain't no peep show!"

Bella giggled from beside me. "That ain't very nice, Punkin."

The jerk sputtered and gasped, wiping at his face. "You're crazy, man!" he cried.

I laughed. "Yeah, well, better that than a creepy old man. Now, piss off!"

The others scattered, running inside their houses like the pussies that they were. I turned around and shut the water off, and the gleaming smile of my pretty girl released all the anger and tension from my body.

"C'mere, my little love."

I held my arms wide open and willingly she leapt into them. There was nothing in the world that felt as good as her. After a long day of lectures and test and people I couldn't stand, coming home to her was like heaven.

"I missed you, missed you, missed you! I'm so glad you don't gotta go for two whole days!" she said happily.

I smiled into her hair and swayed with her. "What do you think of my garden? Ya think yer mama will like it?" she asked, turning in my arms and pointing at her flower garden.

I smirked. I wasn't sure what my mom would think about her garden. I was sure she'd find it unique at the very least.

"Where in the world did you find all that stuff? What are those? Birds?"

She nodded, eyes wide and excited. "They're so pretty, huh? Lady at the store said they was Flamingos. My mama's friend used to have some and I liked 'em so much that one time I stole one from her yard. My daddy gave me the switch, but the lady let me keep it. I lost it, though, somewhere between us moving from lot 14a to 24b. I bought up all of 'em at that store since I got your money card and you said I could buy as much as I wanted to."

I nodded. "Of course you can. Whatever you want, baby doll. My money is your money."

She smiled. "You like them little whirly-gig thingies, or you think it's too much?"

I barked out a laugh. Too much was an understatement. An entire village full of ceramic Gnomes was too much, but now you could hardly tell they were there.

"You mean pinwheels? I think they're called pinwheels."

They were definitely too much, but considering the two dozen hot pink storks and the rest of the animals and bird-baths, in addition to the Gnome family… well, it didn't really make a difference. My yard looked like a hillbilly version of shitty homes and gardens, but my girl was smiling, so whatever.

"Whatever they're called. I thought they were cute!"

I tapped her on the nose and smirked. "I think you're cute."

She blushed and pressed herself against me. Placing my hands on her hips, I leaned forward and kissed her gently. "I love you, Bella."

Every time I said it, I meant it a little bit more. She pulled my bottom lip between her teeth and pulled a big smile on her face. I growled and bucked my pelvis forward. "I want to be inside of you so fucking bad."

That was an understatement. My classes had been grueling and I'd come home exhausted. It'd been four days since I'd fucked her and all I wanted to do at that moment was bang the hell out of her.

"We can play hide the weasel tonight. We got plans, remember?"

Plans? The only plans I had involved me, her, nudity and sweating. I had big problems with anything other than that.

"Plans to do what? I wanted to have sex!" I pouted.

She smiled that smile, the one that lifted my cock and made my heart pitter-patter. "We'll have plenty of it, Fancy, just not 'til later. Rosalie'll be here any sec, and if she catches us goin' at it again, she said she'd rip yer balls off, and I like them marbles of yers."

"I know you do, you dirty girl." I smirked and tapped her on the ass. "What do you tow have planned, anyway?"

She yelped and bent over to pick up her gardening tools. The juicy swell of her ass that peeked out from the bottom of her cut off shorts called out to me like a prayer.

"Pinch me. Lick me. Bite me."

So I did. I reached forward and pinched myself an inch of booty.

"You better knock that off, Edward Cullen, or so help me, I'll lock my kitten up like Fort Knox. You be good, Mister."

I held my hands up in front of me in submission. "I'm sorry. I'll be good."

I wasn't the least bit sorry and I made no promises to be good at all. As long as she was looking like that and within my reach, I was going to do whatever I wanted to do.

"Why don't we get you in the house before you start more riots? Could those damn shorts be any smaller? Jesus…"

Her head snapped and she faced me. "I got two pairs of shears in there, I'm sure they could be, smart ass."

I should've known she'd get me. I was constantly shooting myself in the foot. "You could prevent me being grabby and possibly committing neighborhood homicide if you'd cover up a little, sweet stuff."

If looks could kill…

"You need to take a chill pill. Are you gonna punch people out for lookin' at our baby one day, cuz there's nothin' wrong with lookin'. Boys can't help themselves and it ain't my damn fault. All of this," she said, rubbing her hands over her torso, chest, and then back down to her waist and hips. "This belongs to you and you only. Let them hate and let them check me out. Quit wiggin' out 'cause I ain't gonna dress no different just 'cause you say so. Haters gonna hate. So what."

Now she was getting pissed and while I usually liked it when she got fired up a little, I didn't want her pissed. Fired up, yes because let's just say it… the sex was fanfuckingtastic when she was miffed at me. Hair pulling, hard fucking, yelling… yeah, she was a tigress.

But, she was taking me all wrong… I loved the way she dressed. It suited me just fine. To me, her body was like a work of art and I loved admiring and gawking at it, the only thing was that I liked touching it more. I couldn't help myself.

"Don't blow a gasket, Bella. You're the one mad at me over a little grab ass. I miss you. Shoot me."

Yeah, I was laying it on thick, but I did really miss her and I didn't want to fight. We'd never had a real fight, and I didn't want to start. I enjoyed our silly, sweet, sexy times too much. I loved that our lives were pretty much drama free and that unlike most girls, Bella was so uncomplicated. The only thing was that she was hot tempered at times.

My little hot tamale…

"Oh, come on you. Let's go inside and I'll make you a snack."

Easy as that and we were done bickering.

Like I said… drama free.

I followed her inside, appreciating the view and threw my backpack on the floor next to the door once we were inside.

I sniffed the air. "Did you bake me cookies today?"

It smelled like warm melty chocolate and vanilla frosting. My stomach grumbled.

"I made some cupcakes for Rosalie's friend. She's having a baby shower. I saved some for you, though, my baby love."

"Thank God! You're the best, woman."

She winked. "I know."

Rose and my brother showed up twenty minutes later, and I was pouting. We'd screwed around on stupid crap when we could've easily snuck a romp in. I was bummed.

"So, where are we going, anyway?" Em asked, shoving another cupcake in this mouth.

I shrugged and continued tying my shoes. "I have no idea. The two of them are seriously trouble together. Lord knows what they're brewing up."

Rosalie and Bella becoming friends was as big of a shock as it was when I fell in love with Bella. The two of them couldn't have been more different—looks, upbringing, education… and yet, they were like two peas in a pod when they were together.

They brought out the best in each other. Bella brought out a lighter, sweeter side of Rosalie, one I'd never seen before. With Bella, Rosalie brought out a bolder, more determined and more composed side.

"It'll be fun, though. Double-dating… never done that before."

I shrugged. I couldn't be bothered with it. I liked having Bella all to myself.

Just as the thought entered my mind, I heard the door open and I looked over to see Bella step out, looking hotter and more beautiful than ever.

"Sweet Jesus," my brother groaned, squirming in his seat and averting his eyes. The poor guy was trying to control his attraction to Bella, for all of our benefit, but he was failing terribly.

I stood and moved toward her. "Wow… baby, you're a knock out."

"Thank you," she said, smiling so pretty.

"Where's Rose?"

Her grin grew and curved into a devilish smirk. "Hold on to your seats, boys. The new and improved Rosalie Hale coming right up."

Emmett's eyes bugged out as he sat up in the chair, gripping the arm rests.

"What's that mean?"

I was curious myself.

"You'll just have to wait and see," she sang.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me into the hallway. "Emmett's gonna split his pants when he sees her, Edward. She looks like fire!"

I laughed. She was so adorable.

"What'd you do to her?"

She giggled. "She wanted to get "Bella'd up" her words, not mine. She just needed a little help workin' it, ya know. She wanted to look sexy."

I was puzzled. Rose was one of the most conservative girls I knew. Mostly, I think because of her upbringing. She was a blue blood through and through. She was also the heir and princess to the Hale diamond dynasty. They were the true American royalty, dating back over one hundred years. Her blood was thick and laced with wealth. She smelled like money.

She'd never flaunted her status the way most in our social circle did. She was worshipped by everyone that knew her, envied by the women for her beauty, wardrobe and rank, and lusted after by every warm blooded male she encountered. She was fierce and beautiful and a pain in my ass, but mostly, she was just Rose, the only broad crazy enough to love my brother.

"So what are we doing? Are we going out?"

Bella nodded and shook her hips. "We're going clubbin'."

I stood back and scratched my chin. "Yeah… I don't know if that's a good idea."

She looked confused. "Why not? I wanna get my freak on. We haven't partied since we moved her and I wanna dance."

Shaking my head, I sighed. "That's not what I meant… I mean, with Rose and my brother? And you're wearing that dress? You're asking for trouble, you know."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so cute. Go on, now, quit worryin' and loosen up."

Without another word, she disappeared into the other room with Rose. I put my ear up to the door to see if I could hear, but there was nothing going on, so I lost interest and went back in the other room with Emmett. He was messing around with Bell's stuffed animal collection on the bookshelf.

"Seriously dude… these weird me out."

I laughed. "Yeah, they're kind of weird, but she loves them, so don't fuck them up."

He picked up a sea lion with his thumb and forefinger and then dropped it back on the shelf. "She's a trip. I swear…"

I gave him a frustrated sigh and fixed the animal so it was back in the right spot. I didn't need her ripping my ball hairs out with tweezers because my brother couldn't leave shit alone and listen.

"So… Bella said we're going to a club."

Emmett groaned. "Really? Fuck… why?"

I shrugged. "Don't know, but you better be nice. She wants to dance, and she has never been to a club before. Don't ruin this."

He gave me a knowing look. "You realize she's going to get you beat up, right? There's no way she won't get hit on."

I tugged at my hair. "I know they'll look, and that's fine… it's the touching that might get me killed."

Then, like a vacuum, all the air was sucked out of the room when our bedroom door opened up. I was pretty sure both of us were in shock because for the first time ever, Emmett was completely speechless.

"Tell her she looks pretty you stupid idiots. Damn, I swear on my cooter that y'all are as sense as they come."

"Rose… damn," I sputtered, shocked by the transformation. She was no Bella, but she was working it pretty good.

She smiled, and it was like I was looking at another girl.

"What are you… where did you… what the…" Emmett said, fumbling over his own tongue.

She did a little twirl and Bella smacked her on the butt. "Okay, enough show pony. It's time to hit the road."

Emmett finally shook it off and gained some composure and helped Rose into the car.

"I'm so glad I drove Dad's Rolls tonight," he said, groaning as he watched her ass disappear inside the car.

He couldn't take his eyes off Rose and she was eating it up, every bit of it.

The ride to the club wasn't long enough in my opinion. Bella's dress was short enough that I could diddle her a little without getting caught, and just touching her slickness had me turned on and panting by the time we drove up to the club.

I'd been to the club three or four times when I'd come to visit on holidays to see my parent's. I knew right away why Rosalie had chosen it—it was a hot spot for the group she associated with. At one time, I'd associated and hung out with the same crowd, back when I still lived in Washington. Some of them I'd stayed in touch with and others I could've cared less about.

"This is it?" Bella asked, gawking out the window. "It looks just like in the movies!"

I leaned over and kissed her cheek. "You make everything new, you know that?"

She looked like a little girl, so excited and impressed by flashing neon and velvet ropes. To me, it'd never even been a blip on my radar. It was just further proof that my life had been so saturated by excess and bullshit that I never took the time to pay attention to the details. I was missing out and I hadn't even known.

We all got out of the car and walked toward the enormous line. Those freaking lines were the main reason I avoided clubs. That and I hated the games girls in those places played.

I was impatient. Games were bullshit.

"Do we seriously have to stand in that line? This is lame. It's freezing."

Bella jabbed me in the ribs. "Don't be a sissy. Look at me! My nips could poke yer eyes out and I ain't complainin'!"

Of course, the second she mentioned nips, that was all my brain could register. My eyes darted down and I noticed that she was pretty damn right—her pretty little pointers were looking right at me.

"Quit it. Jeez Louise, getting you to pay attention is like trying to make a dog lay an egg! Impossible!" She laughed and grabbed my hand. "Let's go get a spot in line!"

Rosalie adjusted her skirt, a futile attempt, and smiled. "No worries. I have a VIP room set up already. No need to wait. I know how impatient you are, Edward, and I didn't want you ruining the night with your complaining."

She smirked and I held my hand over my heart in mock hurt. "Ouch. But, yeah, glad we're not waiting in line."

I mentally fist bumped air. Yeah, mentally because I wasn't a big enough douche to do shit like that in public.

We walked right in, and I glared at the overly pumped up bouncer when his eyes lingered on Bella a little too long. I knew it was only the beginning so I tried to get a hold of myself. I gave him an empty threat because seriously, the dude was bigger than Emmett and could easily kick my ass. I was jealous, but I wasn't stupid.

We walked inside and I grabbed onto Bella's waist and pulled her close to me so she wouldn't get lost in the crowd. She was already bouncing around, attracting way too much attention, but her face was lit up like a Christmas tree. I wanted her to have fun. I wanted the night to be amazing.

We found our spot and ordered some drinks. Watching Bella try to order a drink was hilarious. She had no clue what mixed drinks were, but she knew she wanted to get fucked up. She wanted something fruity and sweet, and that was all she knew. Rose intervened, to the relief of the poor waitress, and ordered her a Mai-Tai, complete with fruit and umbrellas.

She immediately took the umbrella out and decided she needed a collection. She put it in her hair behind her ear, and announced that she was the cutest thing in the world.

And she was.

Then, the music started calling her and she was gone like a light, dragging Rosalie off with her. I was scared, not gonna lie. Just watching the reaction they got as they made their way to the dance floor was enough to give me a heart attack.

Then, they started dancing… together… grinding… touching… _touching_. Each other. Holy fuck.

Bella with her eyes closed, head lolling back and forth to the beat, ass moving back and forth, up and down, Rosalie's hands brushing against her, up and down, around, _touching_. Every nerve in my body was going haywire. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and I felt tingling in my fingertips… I needed to get to her.

I moved toward her, pushing and shoving my way through the crowd—the gawking losers with their eyeballs on my girl. I wanted to scream out, "Eat your heart out," but I was too busy grabbing Bella's hips and pulling her against me.

"You look so beautiful when you dance," I whispered in her ear.

She lifted her arms, throwing them around my neck and smiled up at me. "I love dancin'," she said, a little sloppy drunk, but cute as fuck.

"I fell in love with you drunk dancing," I told her. It was semi-true. I wasn't quite sure when I fell in love with her, but I knew that watching her dance, so uninhibited and free released something inside of me, something that let me see inside of her, the beautiful girl underneath the sinful clothes and the potty mouth.

She turned in my arms and looked up into my eyes, lovingly. "I think I fell in love with you the minute I turned around and seen you standing there. I dreamed about ya before, I told you."

I nodded. "I know you did. I dreamed about you, too."

"I can'''t believe you're dancin' with me, Fancy. You never like to dance."

Dancing…. What we were doing was much closer to dry humping, but I wasn't complaining, especially when she started rubbing herself against my leg the way she was.

Rosalie slid up next to us, dragging my shell-shocked brother with her. "Um, we're gonna split. Are you guys ready?"

She was smiling wildly, sweaty and giddy and so out of the norm for Rosalie. Bella pouted and shook her head. "I don't wanna! We just got here!"

I was with Rosalie. I was horny as a motherfucker and ready to take my girl home and fuck her within an inch of her life. "Are you bored already?" I asked Rose, laughing at the way my brother was panting over her.

"No, not at all, but I need to get your brother home. I don't want to waste this."

I furrowed my brow and shook my head. "O-kay…"

She laughed. "Having Bella around is the best aphrodisiac known to man. After your brother has been around her for a while, I get the best sex ever. You can never, ever lose her, Edward. I will have to marry her myself!"

My eyes popped out of my head, and yeah… my stomach kind of recoiled and rumbled.

Ewww.

"Um… I don't know what to say… that's just… ugh!"

Bella, completely unaware of our conversation continued to drop it like it was hot and knowing now that she was not only turning me on, but my brother _and_ future sister in law… I wanted to hide her in my shirt.

"Yeah, time to go. You guys are freaks!"

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><p>Thank you for reading :) See ya next time!<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**AN: Big smooches to eveyone that has given love to these two. This is my happy place. No fuss, no muss. All in good fun. So yeah, thank you for reading it :)**

**That being said, this is unbeta'd, and let's face it... there's no fixing Bella's mouth.**

**On with it... part 2 of the chapter coming asap... (as fast as I can type it up! lol)**

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><p>"Well, ain't it nice of you to finally show up. Ya know, I ain't gonna be one of them wives, Edward Cullen. You better high tail that butt of yours right on home from now on."<p>

I slammed my backpack down on the couch and huffed. "Calm down, woman. What the hell's gotten into you?"

She swung around and stared at me with wide eyes. Scary eyes. "Yer mama and daddy are comin' for dinner… remember? This'll be the first time in our home and I wanted to show them a good time, impress them a little bit. I know yer mama thinks I ain't nothin' but poor white trash, but I want to show her I ain't."

I laughed, igniting a look of pure fury from Bella. "Sweetheart, she doesn't think you're poor white trash. What she said was…"

"I know what she said," she snapped, interrupting me. "You callin' me stupid, too?"

My eyes bounced around and popped out of my head. "You need to calm your little ass down." I went to reach for her and she bolted away.

"Don't you touch me right now. I still got my curlers in my hair and I gotta shave my legs and armpits. I been slavin' away on supper while you were off doin' whatever. Don't you touch me or say nothin' else!"

"Whatever you say, crazy bitch," I mumble under my breath as I walk toward our bedroom. "Doesn't even let me explain and shit."

I'm bummed out. When I get home, I usually get hugs and kisses and on real good days, I get a blowy or some actual action. I never, ever get full-on yelled at, and my feelings are fucking hurt.

I turned and flipped her off though the wall because, yeah, I'm not that stupid. She'd stick my balls in the waffle iron if she saw me doing it. I wiped my hands over my face and groaned. I hated that she was all stressed out. It was my mom's damn fault. She was rubbing off on her, sullying my sweet Bella. I didn't like her trying to change her and influence her. My girl never gave a shit about what anyone thought. My girl wore tops that were see-through and let her nipples show, shirts that were so short you could look up her ancestors, and enough makeup to make a drag queen blush. She spit, ate with her hands, swore like a trucker, and loved me better than I deserved. She was one of a kind, precious, and I wasn't going to let her be soiled by social grace bullshit.

I threw on a clean t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts, and went back into the living room to talk to my Bella, hoping I could coax her into some afternoon nookie.

Fucking… yeah, we were good at that. Fighting… eh, not so much.

"Bella… baby? Where are you?"

"Kitchen!" she called.

I walked in and looked around. Aside of a bowl of fruit and a bag of packaged salad, I saw nothing that resembled dinner in the least. I couldn't even smell food.

"Babe… um, where's the rest?"

She pointed behind her without turning around.

"Ohh-kay…" I wasn't about to push her again. Fuck all that.

"So. How was yer day? You learn a lot?"

I snorted. She was so adorable. "Yeah, baby, I did. How about you? What'd you do today?"

She turned around, smiled and clapped her hands. I was so damn glad mean girl was gone. "Oh my… you ain't gonna believe it. Rosalie brought me along to lunch with her friends and she was tellin' those girls about my makeup. Well, I sold some and I made a hundred and fifty bucks! Right there at the table, they paid me and everything! They was nice, but… yeah… I made some dough!"

I was so proud of her, and Rosalie? Yeah… I wanted to kiss the ground she walked on. She was so damn good to my girl, such a great friend.

"Baby! That's great! I'm so proud of you. I told you that you'd be so good at it."

Truth? I had no fucking idea what selling makeup was all about. What I did know was that our house was full of boxes of the shit and it smelled like a low budget Reno whorehouse. But, she was happy, so I was happy. She could do whatever she wanted.

"Know what else? Rosalie is gonna take me to some fancy apartment buildings so I can leave my catalogs. She said that there ain't a doorman in Seattle that'd deny me access. So… yeah. I'm getting' close to that Caddie, baby!"

I grabbed her hips and dragged her toward me. "Just let me buy you the damn car, Baby. You can get whatever you want. I told you."

She huffed and swatted my chest. "It's important to me, dang it! I wanna earn it. Be the best one. I want to prove that I'm good at somethin'."

I leaned in and kissed her hard. She had so much passion and fire. It just took my breath away. She never expected anything and always gave me so damn much. We kissed for awhile until I started getting a little carried away and she pushed me back, going back to the counter to fix dinner.

"You really don't have the sense of a blind bear, do ya? Yer mama and daddy'll be here any minute. We can't fornicate right now! They'll know!"

I growled and lunged forward, grabbing her around the waist and spinning her around. Pressing my dick against her back, I kissed that sweet spot on her neck, right below her ear.

"So what? We're young and in love. You already told her we fuck like rabbits, so what's the big deal?"

She pulled in a quick breath. "I did not! I'd never say somethin' so vulgar to yer mama!"

I laughed and shamelessly continued stabbing her with my hard on and groped her tits. "You told her we do it all the time, Bella. Semantics. Fact is, my mom knows we fuck, so let's fuck. We have time. I want you…"

She groaned and threw her head back against my chest. "How's about I suck you off instead? I don't wanna get all sticky. I ain't got time for a shower."

Faster than my thoughts could move, she was on her knees on the kitchen floor, my pants ripped down my legs, and my cock was down her throat.

"Motherfucking most perfect goddamned woman Jesus Christ, I love you, I love you," I cried.

My hips bucked forward and I felt like my legs were going to give out on me. She held on to me, both hands grasping my butt cheeks while her mouth moved against me hard and fast. She was an expert—a bona fide pro at giving head. My girl always made sure it was all about me—the same way I always worshipped every single inch of her.

"That's it, baby, God… you can suck a dick."

She hummed and moaned while I ran my fingers through her silky hair. It was curly now, she'd had those funky pink curlers in it all day, but it was so soft and shiny.

Then, my balls began to tighten and the familiar rush of heat flooded my loins. I was trying to figure out what to do in my head. Was she gonna swallow, or… 'cause I was pretty sure she didn't want me to nut on her tits minutes before my parents arrived.

"Bella, I'm gonna…" I jerked forward and tugged at her hair with both hands, harder than I meant to, and then… hand to God, I fucking blacked out.

She hollowed her cheeks and started flicking her tongue at the hole on the head of my dick, rapidly like a fucking snake, and that was it. I lost it.

I fell on top of her, her hair in my hand, barely conscious enough to stop myself from crushing her.

"Oh dear Lord."

I tensed. From head to toe, my entire body turned to stone.

"Edward," my mother snapped. "Cover yourself up, for God's sake!"

My mother… Jesus…

"Get out! Oh God…" I groaned.

Bella was pushing against me and scrambling off the floor, tying to get up and greet them.

"We'll be in the other room… waiting," my mom said tersely.

I managed to flip myself over and drag my pants back on while Bella kicked and grumbled and huffed before pulling herself up and standing in front of me.

And boy… did she look pissed.

With her hands on her hips, she leaned forward and glared. "You ever do that again, pull my damn hair by the roots like I'm some dang rag doll, and I'll bite yer pecker right off and carry it around on my keychain. You hear me, Fancy?"

"It's your fault!" I snapped. "You're the one doing carnival tricks on my dick! How'd you expect me to react? Holy hell, Bella!"

She stomped her feet and swung her fist in the air. "You go make nice with yer parents. I'm goin' to get fixed up. Ya dumb boy!"

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><p>END NOTE<p>

Big hugs to all of you ladies in Vegas. I was so bummed I had to cancel at the last minute. I ALMOST had myself talked into driving up after work, but the freeway just didn't sound like fun at 6:00. Hope y'all have lots of fun!


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT

AN: Part two of dinner w/ the parents…

This is dedicated to Laurel... cuz I love you. Yer the best ;0)

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><p>The look on my mom's face was priceless. It was a mixture of shock, pride, disgust and disbelief. I don't think she'd ever been more confused or humiliated in all her life. She was trying to keep her composure, but she was failing.<p>

After she chewed me out for a half hour in the living room while Bella got dressed, she took a self-guided tour of the house. She had opinions… I could tell, but luckily, she kept them to herself.

"Well… um, you really shouldn't have gone to so much trouble, darling. What is it that we're having?"

I wondered the same thing, honestly. The minute I saw her dragging the food out of the freezer, and then boxes, I knew we were in for an interesting night.

"Salisbury steak and green beans. There's chocolate cake, too. I'm gonna heat up some apple pies for later, for real dessert."

She smiled, gleaming with pride.

"That sounds wonderful," my mom said, her voice shaky, but sweet.

"Okay, well, y'all go on and sit down and I'll have dinner on the table in two shakes."

She bounced on the balls of her feet a little before retreating and heading into the kitchen.

"She really went all out, didn't she?" My dad mused, looking around the room. He seemed to like what was going on.

My mom looked pleased and it was hard to explain just how happy that made me.

"She's been so excited, and nervous, so be nice. She wants to impress you so badly. I don't know why, but she does. Be nice and stuff, okay?"

My mom sighed. "I know why… I just wish she wouldn't worry about it. I think she's a wonderful girl… a little rough around the edges, but she loves you and makes you happy. I couldn't ask for more than that."

I felt a tear slip. I wiped it away, not wanting to feel like such a pussy.

"I'm a lucky man. Seriously. I didn't know I could be this happy. And getting married… this house… all this shit," I said, opening my arms wide. "This just wasn't supposed to happen. She was like a God send. An angel."

My mom rolled her eyes, smiling. "Well, I don't know about that. Maybe a fallen angel… that halo of hers is definitely bent, but, she's good to you. Obviously," my mom quipped, giving me a pointed look.

Yeah… I blushed.

"Come 'n get it. Supper's on, folks!" Bella called from the other room.

I smiled at my parent's and led them into the other room. I stopped short when I heard my mother gasp.

"What on Earth…"

My head turned and I had to choke down my laughter. Seriously… my girl was a fucking whack job. Sometimes I wondered if she just went out of her way to do weird shit.

"Whatta ya think?" she asked, nuzzling into my side.

The way she grinned up at me nearly took me down to my knees, like I was the most important thing to her in the word. Well, I guess I was. It just felt pretty damn good to know it.

"There's a lot of shit n the table, babe," I said, instantly regretting my words. I back-pedaled. "I mean… wow! It looks great!"

She gave me an evil eye and looked over at my parents. My dad, of course was too busy eyeballing Bella's rack to pay attention to what was going on with the table, but my mom's eyes were glued to it.

"Mom!" I snapped, gaining her attention.

"Oh! What? Yes, um…" she shook her head and plastered a big fake smile on her face. "You've outdone yourself, my dear."

I smiled.

_Nice save, Mom._

I mean… it was just a lot to take in. The plastic table cloth covered in big red and white checks, the giant glass vase shaped like a swan and filled with colorful silk flowers, purple paper plates and napkins to match, and the biggest, tallest, ugliest candles I'd ever seen.

"Sit. Come on, y'all."

My dad hurried over to pull out the chair for my mom, whose careful unhurried steps almost made me laugh. She was insane. She acted like something was going to jump out and bite her on the nose.

The food smelled good enough, but the look of it made me want to barf. Don't even get me started on the plastic cafeteria style container it was trapped in. It was all just sitting there, unmoving and plastic like. The shape was all wrong, the colors were off, and the way it just… sat there in the tray was…

"What is this?" I asked, pushing an oblong piece of… brown something around in the dish. "Is this meat?"

Bella smacked me on the back. "Course it is, ya big goof. It's steak and it's delicious. It's gourmet, and I got you the Hungry Man one, since you're my big man."

She rubbed her tits on my arm, and ran her hand along my thigh under the table. I groaned. Hearing her say big and man in the same sentence put my dirty mind into overdrive.

"Thank you, baby."

She batted those eyelashes at me and smiled, proud as a peacock.

"Eh hem." My mother cleared her throat and tapped the plastic cactus shaped margarita glass with her fork. Bella thought they were the cutest wine glasses in the world…

The pink liquid inside sloshed around and my mother cringed. I couldn't wait for her to take a drink of the two-dollar strawberry wine from a screw cap bottle. She raised her eyebrow at me when I snickered, and gave me a stiff nod, demanding my attention.

"Thank you for inviting us, Bella. I can see you went to a lot of trouble, and it's appreciated. Unnecessary," she said, giving the room another look. "But appreciated. I can see what a lovely girl you are, and how much you love my son. He adores you." She looked over at me and smiled. "I have to admit. You're not what I expected when Edward told me he'd fallen in love, but I have a feeling you're just what he needed."

She cleared her throat again. "So, yes, well… welcome to the family, Bella. Thank you so much for your hospitality."

Bella hopped off her chair and tackled my mom where she sat. "I'm glad you like it, Mama Cullen. I just wanted everything to be perfect for you. Only the best."

My mom was starting to get used to Bella's constant affection, and even looked like she was starting to like it, which was cool.

My dad on the other hand…

His grabby-grabby, way more eager than appropriate affection toward Bella had just gotten… well, it'd have been funny had it not been directed toward the woman I loved… the woman I was about to marry.

Well, shit… it was hilarious. Did I like it? No, but that shit was classic. It was a trip seeing someone as pent-up and uptight as my dad, Mr. Multi-million dollar business man get all flustered and bothered by a little bitty country girl.

When I sat back and looked at it, I guess it was easy to see. Bella was just the type of girl that was a fantasy to most men. She wasn't shy, she was sexy, and she was so over the top sinfully sexual that it just dripped off her like honey. She was the girl on posters in garages, on the covers of spank-mags under mattresses, the diamond girl at the titty bar… she was all of those things mixed up with the innocent and home-spun sugar of the girl next door. She was an enigma, and I'd nabbed her for good.

I was like a motherfucking God.

It was unheard of, especially in our social set. Men like us married women like my mother. Impeccably groomed, intelligent and poised, and boring as fuck. Primped, nipped, tucked, groomed… so fucking dull and so typical. I never knew what the hell to expect from Bella from day to day. She kept me on my toes.

All the manners, the way they spoke, the rules, laws, regulations… whatever you wanted to call it, well, Bella wadded all that up and chucked it out the window.

She was trashy, vulgar, sassy, nasty and dirty… damn was that girl dirty, but mostly she was just real. Soft and sweet and honest and beautiful.

A real girl, inside and out.

Mom patted her on the shoulder. "Now, sit and enjoy your meal, sweetheart."

Bella glowed. The attention was exactly what she needed. Sure, Renee loved her and showered her with attention, but Bella was just one of these girls that needed a lot of it. She just wanted and needed to be loved. No fancy embellishments, just soft smiles and works of adoration. She was seriously about to lose her shit if my mom hadn't stepped it up.

She skipped back to her seat, smiling at me as she did. "Who wants to say grace?" she asked.

I looked around the table at the stumped expressions on the faces of my parents. We never said grace and I had no idea what to say. I leaned in to whisper in Bella's ear.

"I don't know what the hell to say."

She smacked me on the shoulder. "Well, you sure enough ain't gonna curse, Edward Cullen. Where's yer manners?"

I cringed back into my seat and looked over at my parents. My mom looked amused and my dad looked… well, he was busy looking at the food.

"Okay," I said, bowing my head and clasping my hands in front of me. I was still at a loss, but I tried to emulate what I'd seen others do. "God, thanks for all this food and for our health and amen."

I looked up and Bella smiled, mildly pleased while my mother looked even more amused than she did before. "That was lovely, Edward. Thank you." My mother smiled and dipped her hand to pick up her fork and knife.

I followed her lead and did the same before hesitantly slicing into the piece of meat. All eyes were on me as I slipped the fork into my mouth. The flavor wasn't as bad as the shit looked, but the texture… yeah, could've done without that. Otherwise, it wasn't all that terrible.

What I didn't get was why Bella hadn't just made something from scratch. My girl could make a mean meatloaf—something I'd only heard of from watching Brady Bunch re-runs, and her fried chicken made me come in my pants. She could bake a pie that would bring the devil himself to his knees… so why with the Swanson's?

I chewed and swallowed and smiled a tight lipped smile. I could stomach it, I guess. Technically, yeah, it was meat. It wasn't a T-bone, but it was food and I was hungry.

Plus, I wasn't about to hurt Bella's feelings. She was proud of her feast.

"Mers groob," I mumbled around the food as I chewed.

My mom lifted the fork and finally took a bite, chewing slowly and carefully, like she was afraid it would go off like a grenade in her mouth.

She chewed several times, and then swallowed. "This is different. It's good, though."

I wanted to hug my mother. Hug her and promise her that I'd do anything she ever asked of me. She was making Bella happy, and it showed that she loved her.

Bella nodded, pleased that everyone was happy, and started digging in. We were all quiet while we scraped the food from the containers into our mouths. My mother kept sneaking peeks at me, side-eyeing me, but she ate it, so I just ignored it.

"So, Edward, how's school?"

My dad. The businessman in him never slept, well, unless he was derailed by my fiancé's boobs.

"Good. I've got a lot of work, but it's all good."

He smiled. "Have you decided where you'd like to intern? I know that Eleazar Denali is still hoping you'll come work for him."

I snorted and wiped my mouth with the napkin. "Yeah, that's not happening. He's still hoping I'll hump his daughter, too, I assume. Fuck that."

"Edward!" my mother scolded.

I threw my hands up. "What? It's true! He stopped us at that stupid shindig you made us attend and told me Kate was asking about me—in front of my fiancé! Dude's crazy."

Kate was pissed at me for the kiss off I gave her after I met Bella, and after meeting Bella, and witnessing my proposal, she'd then made it her goal to foil my happiness and win me over. That was not happening. I'd seen her for what she really was, and I wanted to knock my teeth out for even considering her.

My dad sighed, dropping his fork. "Listen, Edward, he's a very important player, and very successful. He could do great things for you and your career."

I wrinkled my brow. "What are you saying? You want me to deal with those people? Dad… he'll hold Kate over my head. I'm about to get married and that's not going to change. I don't want anything to do with Kate, or any other woman for that matter. You're disrespecting what I've got going on here. Fuck that."

I was heated. I was ready to lunge across the table and tackle my dad to the ground. He couldn't be serious. I felt Bella bristle next to me and I slammed my hands down on the table.

"Listen. Just spit it out. Say it. I want you to say what's on your mind. Don't beat around the bush here, Dad."

He looked over at my mother and sighed again. "I don't want this to come out the wrong way, but I think you need to reconsider your pending marriage to Bella."

I fisted my hands on the table and took a few deep breaths. I was going to murder him.

"Now, Bella, I mean no disrespect. You're a very beautiful girl, but I don't want to see Edward throw away his future on lust."

That did it. I pushed away from the table and stood, towering over it. "Get the fuck out. You think this is a mistake, well, then you don't need to be a part of it. Get. The. Fuck. Out. You have no idea what you're talking about. I love her… Love her. With all my heart, I love her. I'd die for her, Dad. Do you even understand the depths of that? This is not some passing fancy to me… I mean, you're sitting at our table, eating our food in our house. Ours. Mine and hers. We're getting married, forever, not until I get over this… lust, or whatever. Yeah, do I lust over her? Well, you of all people should know since you can't seem to keep your eyes or your dirty thoughts to yourself where she's concerned. Yes, I feel lust, every second of every day, but it's because I love her, too. She's gorgeous… that's just the shiny packaging, Dad. She's so much more than that. It's not about money, or who I'm going to work for, or what I'm going to end up doing. I'll mow yards for the rest of my life if it means I come home to her every day. That's all I want, and it's all I'm ever going to want. Get it through your head now, or walk the fuck away and forget I even exist."

My breathing was ragged and harsh and I wanted nothing more than to strangle him. He hadn't said a fucking word about any of this to me before… shit, he'd been happy for me, or so I though. Now, he drops a load of bullshit the side of Montana on me, and in front of Bella… it wasn't cool. At all.

He stood and held his hands up in front of him. "That's not what I'm saying, son. Please, calm down. I think you two are just jumping the gun a little bit. Maybe, put it off for a year or two, let Bella get used to the way things will be first. She'll be an executive's wife. There are certain expectations, Edward. You have to understand this."

I laughed under my breath and finally sat down at Bella's urging. "Yeah. Get out."

My mom's hand went to my shoulder. "You're father is a moron, Edward. He doesn't know how to talk to people. No tact." She threw him a dirty look. "I'm more than pleased that you're in love, and I think you two know what you're doing. The thing is, you'll be required to attend functions where Bella will be ostracized by your peers for the way she dresses, and thinks. Honey, I don't want them to hurt her. She doesn't deserve it."

I shook my head and laughed. "She's fine." I looked over at Bella and grabbed her face in my hands. "You're perfect. Just the way you are. If those assholes can't deal with the way you dress, then fuck them. I never, ever want you to change. I fell in love with you… this you. Don't ever question that, okay?"

She nodded, tears brimming in her eyes, and I wanted to kill my parents. "Don't you cry, pretty girl. Don't you do it?"

"Kay," she said softly. "I told you they think I'm no better than trash. I told you."

My mom stood then and walked over to her, kneeling down in front of where we sat facing each other. "Bella, that's not true. You're just… well, you're very colorful for our world." She laughed a little and then gave her a sad smile. "Sometimes it's hard for people… well, like us, to look outside of the grey area. You've pulled me into your little bubble, and I find every day that I love you a little bit more. There are going to be times when you'll need to tone down your rainbow, and I'll help you, but I wouldn't want a beautiful creature like you to hide who you are. My husband is just black and white, and unfortunately, he's just like the majority of people we know. Please know that I don't want you to feel badly."

Bella smiled and ducked her chin. "You love me, Mama Cullen?"

My mom let out a small sob/laugh and squeezed our entwined hands. "Bella, no one can know you and not love you. Your very soul insists on it. Yes, I love you. You're to be my daughter, after all."

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><p>END NOTE:<p>

Thank you for reading :)

XO

J'me


	10. Bella BPOV

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**AN: This chapter is dedicated to my corner girls, my kitties and especially Kitty V, for all their love and friendship. This is just a lil something I started and wasn't sure what to do with. Trailerella was talking to me and I couldn't ignore her. We'll see how this goes over… if y'all like hearing from Bella, maybe we'll hear from her again.**

**XO**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Things were real good being with my Fancy. At first, I thought he was a real jerk, Mr. hot shit in his expensive suit and that devil smile of his, but he proved me wrong. Yes, sir.<p>

Not gonna lie. I was hot for him as soon as I turned around and seen him standing there watching me dance. Holy chipped beef on toast was he yummy, but he looked like a heartbreaker, and that was something I never wanted to feel.

Mama told me love would come along, and promised that the right one wouldn't hurt. I started losin' hope. Boys on the rez were dirty little shits, only interested in dippin their willies or gettin' drunk. I always, always knew I was meant for something different than life on the rez, but at the same time, I never wanted to leave. It was all I knew. My mama was there, my friends, my whole life, but I knew that somewhere out there, there was more for me.

I didn't want to get stuck with a bastard kid and a broken down shack. I wanted to fall in real love with a real man and have a family. I didn't really wanna be my mama.

My mama done the best she could. She wasn't real smart like me, so she didn't stay in school. She got a job shakin' tail and she was good at it, so that was that. She had to make some money somehow since my daddy was a no good coot and left us high and dry. He was Mama's one true love, and she was heartbroken for weeks, barely eatin' or sleepin', until she met a live bait salesman named Barney. We moved into Barney's house—a fancy double-wide in the next town over. We had some nice furniture and I had my own room.

Then, about a month later, Barney's wife decided she didn't like him havin' a girlfriend, so we got throwed out.

We went to stay with my aunt Char after that, and I liked her house a whole lot. We stayed with her only a week, though, until she kicked us out on account of my mama fallin' on Uncle Randy's stick. I didn't understand at all. We lived in a dang gung forest for Pete's sake. I even went and grabbed him some more—but she wasn't havin' it.

From there, my mama kept on fallin' in love, but she never found another one like my daddy. They was either ugly, or mean, or married, so she just kept on searchin' for true number two.

I'm guessin' I was pretty lucky to find Fancy when I did. I was gettin' too old to be on my own and way too old to not have been properly rutted. A few boys had tried to get in my panties, but it creeped me out the way their fingers dug around like they was searchin' for night crawlers. I sure as heck didn't want them up in there in my sweet spot doing that… they were likely to knock somethin' out of whack.

My Fancy, though… phew. That boy knew his way around my lady business. I felt like I was gonna flip straight silly every time he touched me. I would've never thought I'd be such a floozy, but I couldn't help myself. It felt so good and it was so much fun that having the sex was all I wanted to do.

We had that trailer rockin' from sun up to sundown every day. I couldn't imagine anyone in the world had ever been as in love as me and Edward, otherwise, I couldn't see how shit would get done. I didn't want to eat, clean, work or move unless it meant he was part of it. I started getting' scared when he started talkin' about school and movin'. I just knew I'd be so dang lonely for him that I'd shrivel up and flat out die.

I loved my sweet apple dumpling so much, my whole body and soul hurt like hell when he left me. Even though I believed his promise that he'd come back for me, there was still sadness in my heart. It was like gettin' a new bike for Christmas, but without no wheels. What the hell good is it if ya can't ride it? It ain't no damn good. It's perdy and sparkly and a dang tease. It just ain't no fair.

I moped around for a while, missin' him like crazy, but then he got me a phone and a machine where I could talk to him. Leah was real good at it and in no time, she taught me and I figured it all out. I was smart like that. I could learn pretty quick.

And then… my house was delivered and I knew for sure he wanted me for good. Ain't no man gonna buy a girl a trailer if they planning on runnin' off. No one in town believed that he just done it because he loved me. They thought he'd knocked me up and felt bad. Bunch of stupid idiots.

Like I said…

I was giddy excited when he was coming back and I never woulda expected that he'd wanna get hitched real fast. He didn't seem like he was ready. Yeah, of course I knew he loved me, he told me all the time, but he was still a little bit green when it came to the love junk. He still sounded damned surprised when he'd say "I love you" to me out loud, like he couldn't believe he was actually in love.

He knew he was, though. His eyes were as clear as a fresh water stream. His love was written all over his face every single time he looked at me.

Love love love love love love love.

I felt so floaty and light inside when he looked at me like that. Big puffs of cotton candy hearts burst up inside of me and I felt like the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.

It made me a little nervous to meet his kin. His mama and daddy were so nice, though. I coulda done without them highfalutin broads at the party, though. They thought they was so smart, but I knew they were tryin' to make me feel bad. Screw that. I also knew they all wanted my Fancy, 'specially that little bitty thing, Kate. Boy, I'd whoop her ass up one side and back down the other if she put her paws on my man one more time. I think she figured it out, too, 'cause Bella means business when it comes to her man. I wasn't playin' with those hoochies. I'd tear them up and drop 'em off the next day so their mama's could lick their wounds.

Country girls fight to win.

Then, we had to move away from the rez, and it scared the ever-lovin' shit out of me. I wasn't real crazy about the house we bought, but I was makin' it better… more homey.

It just looked so boring, like a post office—all white and just… white. Who wants to live in such a boring ol' place?

But it wouldn't matter if we lived in a little hovel inside an ol' tree trunk, really. My fancy makes it feel like home, though. When he's home with me, well, that's all that matters. Of all the houses, all the places I've lived it, this one is the only one that really feels like home. Like, real home, like it's mine and I belong there and it's really, really all mine. Well, me and Edward's, but that's what I meant.

I tried real hard to act proper like with his parents. I know his mama wants me to be more respectable, and I guess I know what she means, like, I guess I dress like a hoochie compared to the people 'round here, but shoot… she oughta meet my mama. She doesn't even wanna know that I'm just being me, and that's all there is to it. Mama told me, work it while you got it cuz gravity is a nasty ol' hag, and once I have youngins, well, I just might not bounce back like my mama. She was lucky, that's what she says, but I got my daddy's genes, too, and well, Grandmamma Swan was… well, she was a big ol' fat old lady, and she wore these disgusting house dresses that looked like the tents they use to drive out critters from houses. Aaand, her feet were real swollen and almost purple and she wore them damn rubber flippers on her feet and made a dang racket when she walked. Clap clap clappin' away through the house.

She gave me the heebie-jeebies, and I just prayed to baby Jesus in the manger that I wouldn't end up that gross after I birthed some youngins. Good gracious… I'd just die. I think Fancy'd throw a fit, too, if I ended up lookin' like grandmamma Swan. He darn well wouldn't want to play with my cupcakes when they started lookin' more like flap-jacks.

But, that's beside the point. My point was, I had some good parts, and hell if I wasn't gonna let them be seen, especially for my honey.

I just wanted to be a good wife, and do right by my man. There wasn't a dang thing I wouldn't do for that man. I knew I'd treat him right, and make sure that he'd always be taken care of. I think he knows it too. He told me, especially after that one time he was sick. I didn't leave his side unless I was gettin' him somethin' or cookin' him some food.

I whipped up a big ol' batch of my Mama's special recipe ailin' soup, and he was right as rain after just a couple days. I wiped his brow, gave him sponge baths, fixed him soup, and fresh squeezed him juice for vitamins. I sang to him and held him tight 'til he got better, and I think he knew dang well he'd picked a winner when he picked me.

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><p><strong>Leave me some loves XO<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT.**

**AN: First of all, I'd like to thank TwistedinMasen for the amazingballs banner she made me for Quickie! I posted it in my Facebook group, and I'll get it up on the blog this week. It's freaking so rad... can NOT thank her enough!**

**ANDDDDDDDDDDDD Thank you to all of you that have read and reviewed and rec'd and loved. **

**This is again dedicated to all my readers, friends, and kitties. You are sunshine on a cloudy day. Every day. XO**

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Is this seat taken?"

I looked up to see who was behind the soft voice. The girl was pretty and kind of familiar. She was in my International trade class. We'd been paired up on a project, but hadn't had a chance to meet up yet.

I looked at my watch and answered. "Actually, it will be in a few minutes. My fiancée is meeting me here for dinner. She worries when I study so late, so she brings me food."

The girl didn't take the hint and plopped down beside me anyway, depositing her bag on the table.

"Oh my! Fiancée… that, like, shocks me a little, to be honest."

I quirked an eyebrow at her. "Is there a reason you'd even care?"

She smirked and threw her hair over her shoulder. "You're quite the topic of conversation at the Sigma house." She smiled a little brighter and moved a little closer, letting her knee brush mine slightly.

I jumped out of my seat, holding my hands up and shaking my head.

"Whoa, sister, I don't know what you've heard, or what you've got in mind, but you can just forget about it. I'm getting married in less than three months—eighty-seven days to be exact, to the love of my life and the most beautiful and amazing woman on the planet."

She kind of let out this weird laugh/huff and leaned forward. "I heard it was a joke, that Edward Cullen doesn't commit. I also heard you were a love 'em and leave 'em type of guy." She leaned in a little further and lowered her voice an octave. "And I hear you're really good at it… the _lovin'._"

I took a few steps back, scandalized by her behavior and just… what the fuck?

"Look, whatever the hell your name is, I just transferred here from New England. I have no idea who said what, but I need you to stay the fuck away from me… and seriously, you should jam because my old lady will be here in a few minutes."

She rolled her eyes and I continued.

"She's like… a homicidal maniac when it comes to other chicks, so unless you want her to strangle you with the strap from your Chanel purse, you'd best book it out of here."

She swung her hair around again, which by the way was getting annoying the more she did it, and glared at me.

"Whatever. I heard she was some fatty that you drunk fucked and accidently knocked up. I thought I could offer you some distraction. You know… something more your style."

Ugh… she was one of those… gross.

"Well, no thanks. I have all I want and need at home. Now… take a hike," I snapped.

She picked up her bag and pulled out her phone. "What's your number, you know, just in case."

I spotted Bella approaching from over her shoulder and shook my head. I wanted to point my finger in her face and laugh and say, _it's on now, bitch_, just because. I hated girls like her, girls that thought they were entitled to whatever the hell they wanted, above it all and irresistible just because of who they were or where they came from. At one point in my life, I would have had her bent over in the periodicals, but now… she was lame.

"How 'bout I give you a number. You pick—either five or ten," Bella said, holding up both fists.

She looked so fucking sexy—it was unfair to all females within twenty feet of her. Every eye in the library was on her.

The girl, whose name I still couldn't remember, turned around to face off with Bella and I moved to the side so I could catch the look on her face.

As anticipated, it was classic.

"Can I help you," Whatsherface asked, snottily.

Bella did that neck roll, head wag thing she always did right before she blew her top and well… went off.

"I can help you find your way away from my man," she growled. "You can take your uppity little ass out of her all quiet like, and I won't have to rip your fingers off for touchin' him."

Whatshernuts scoffed. "Your man?" She turned to me. "You can't be serious… I mean, _her?"_

I looked at Bella and smiled. Hell yes, her.

Her hair was wild, full and out of control like it always was when she let it dry naturally after a shower. It was everywhere over her shoulders, down her back, shiny and lush. She had on one of her tight as fuck crazy tank tops, this one displaying a picture of a peach and the words "Ripe for the pluckin'" on the front. It was just short enough to show off the skin above her waist band of her jeans, which were wrapped around her curves tightly and hung low on her hips, showing off her belly button,

I wanted to dip my tongue in it.

She was an innie. I liked it. Sue me.

She had on a pair of clompy neon pink sandals—she had a pair in every color, I swear to God, with hot pink glitter nail polish on her toes.

She looked perfect.

"Come on, baby. Let's go." I started shoving things in my bag hurriedly, trying to avoid the inevitable beat down that was about to occur.

Bella stood glaring, hands on her hips, the right one cocked high. It was her serious business stance. She didn't fuck around.

I stepped in front of her and put my hands on her shoulders, leaning down to look into her eyes. "Come on. Let's go home so I can show you how much I love you," I said, loud enough for whattabitch to hear.

She got that lusty look in her eyes and nodded. "You better."

I reached down and took her hand, threading my fingers through hers and walked us to the car, leaving the nameless trouble-maker behind.

That was a close one…

**~QMC~**

I was having an epic dream, when I was awaken by relentless banging on my front door. "What the hell?" I grumbled.

It was Sunday for God's sake and someone was going to die if they didn't leave. Immediately. I had a hell of a hangover and the banging was beating the crap out of my head. We'd had a long night of fucking and drinking Bella's homemade hooch, and I was tore up.

I was tangled up in sheets, sweating my ass off underneath her. She was wrapped around me like a koala bear, making it impossible for me to get up.

"Who's at the door?" Bella mumbled, her voice sounding as rough as I felt.

"I don't know," I snapped. "I can't see through the damn walls!"

Yeah… see, I knew I was fucked as soon as I opened my mouth.

"Ahhh!" I screamed, shooting off the mattress and clasping my hand over my junk. "You fucking psycho! You pinched my nuts! That hurts!"

She rolled over, exposing herself in all her glory and jumped out of bed. That's when I noticed the bruises.

I was on the other side of the bed so fast that I startled her. I pointed at the marks on her arms. "What happened?"

She opened her mouth, letting out a small yelp and shook her head. I turned her around so I could examine the ones on her hips and ass.

"What the shit?" I hissed, rubbing my fingers gently over the marks.

The idiot at the door continued banging and I'd finally had it.

"Fuck the fuck off, fucker!" I yelled.

The sound of my voice rumbled in my head. "Ugh… my freaking head!"

She placed her hand on my chest and smiled up at me. "You drank so much of my apple wine that you made yerself sick, dumplin'. "

I groaned. "Where you drunk, too? Did you fall?"

She shook her head, and started to answer when my father's voice rumbled from outside.

"Edward? Bella? Are you two okay?"

"Shit," I said, "What's he doing here?"

Bella shrugged her shoulders and moved toward the closet, pulling a yellow dress off a hanger and pulling it over her head. "You better put on some drawers, honey. I'll go let yer daddy in."

I watched her prance out of the room and shook my head. "You don't have panties on, Bella," I called after her.

"Don't matter," she said, shutting the door behind her.

I pulled my boxers off the floor and pulled them on, and grabbed a random t-shirt off the floor and gave it a sniff before shrugging and putting it on. I found a pair of sweats and pulled them on as well, and then went out to see what my dad was up to.

I found him and Bella in the kitchen, giggling, of all things. I leaned against the doorway and crossed my arms over my chest. "What's going on?"

They both swung around to face me. Bella looked so happy, and my dad looked… well, happy.

"I came over to bring you kid's breakfast. Your mother had a tennis match with friends, and I thought it'd be a nice time to come over and chat… and apologize."

Bella placed her hand over her head and smiled at Dad. "I forgive ya, Daddy Cullen."

He laughed and brushed a hand over her cheek. I took a step forward. "You've proven me wrong time and again, Miss Bella. I apologize. I never meant to disrespect you. I don't know what I was thinking."

I scoffed. I did. He was listening to his low-life friends and buying their bullshit about her being a gold-digger.

"You think donuts and coffee are going to make up for you basically saying our relationship is bullshit?"

He shook his head sadly and turned to me. "Edward, I was just thinking out loud, and I am really sorry. I can see how in love you are with each other. I'd never deny you that. I have to admit, at first, I thought it was all about the physical attraction. Bella's undeniably a very beautiful girl, and you've made so many rash decisions since you met. You can't fault me for worrying."

I had to laugh. "You know, you never had a problem with me screwing everything that walked, conniving and conning my way into all sorts of situations, spending money like it was water and using people left and right, but I fall in love, settle down, buy a fucking house in the suburbs, and you have issues with it? You understand how fucked up that is, right?"

He nodded. "I do, actually. That's why I'm here. I like Bella," he said, turning to smile at her. "A lot. I admit that I saw her as a phase, but that's due to your actions before you met her, Edward."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

He held his hand up. "You have to understand that after all is said and done, you're my son. I worry."

Bella giggled. "You ain't got to worry about Fancy, Daddy Cullen. I take real good care of him."

He smiled. "I know you do."

The sparkle in his eye and the smug pull of his lips didn't escape my attention, either.

Pervert.

"Well, let's eat some of this, shall we? Fancy worked me hard last night, and I'm 'bout to keel over from exhaustion."

My father's eyes bulged out of his head as he looked over at me, but the look on his face quickly morphed into the look of pride and jealousy.

I smirked.

What could I say? My girl liked sex, and she wasn't afraid to admit it.

After a long and rather enjoyable afternoon with my father, he invited Bella to join him the next day at the country club to play golf. They'd talked about it almost all afternoon, and she was enthralled. I had a bad feeling about the outing, but it was cool of my dad to try and make amends, and offer to teach Bella how to play.

We walked him out, waved as he drove away and went back in the house. I was exhausted, having done, God only knows what the night before, and then getting woken up by my father. All I wanted to do was sleep.

Unfortunately, sleep wasn't in the cards.

"Edward, sugar-pie, we gotta go shoppin' today. Your mama told me I need to pick out some flowers. I told her I just wanted some pink ones, but she said she wants me to go lookin' and pick out what we want. She said you gotta go."

I groaned. "Seriously, babe? I don't know the first thing about flowers. Just go with my mom. I don't want to."

I rolled over. She wasn't going to be ignored.

"You better get up out of that bed and go shoppin' with me, or I won't let you mow my lawn for two weeks. Git up and move it, Mister lazy."

Withholding sex was not my idea of fun. Fuck that. "Fine. Whatever. I'll get ready."

Of course I did. I always did whatever she wanted. I was pussy-whipped like a motherfucker. My life had been ruined by her little Bermuda triangle between her legs. Some days I wished I had my will-power back, but then again… no.

My name is Edward Cullen and I'm addicted to Bella pussy.

And I wasn't ashamed.

We should've just fucking eloped. My mom was getting her all antsy about details. I knew my Bella wouldn't have cared one way or another. As long as she was in a dress and I was at the end of the aisle, it would have been enough.

My mother was a brainwashing wench. Brainwashing my goofy girl into becoming a nagging wife. I was not happy about it at all. Not happy at all.

I went shopping for flowers, though. Painful experience. Bella picked pink carnations. My mom turned blue. Bella chose purple tinted roses. My mom hyperventilated. Bella chose daisies. My mom gave up.

"I think it's time to bring in a professional. We need a wedding planner. We need someone that has experience with this. If you two aren't going to take this seriously, I definitely won't be able to do this by myself."

She was such a drama queen and I just rolled my eyes. "Hey, I have an idea. Let us plan our own fucking wedding and butt out of it. Would that work? I don't want you running out of Valium before the wedding with all this stress," I snapped, slamming the door of the floral shop behind us.

She scoffed. "Really, Edward. You two are acting like you're going to prom. This is your wedding, and hopefully the only one you'll have."

I turned and glared at her. "Of course it's going to be the only wedding. Unless we want another one. Shit, we could have a wedding every year if we wanted to!"

She flung her hands in the air and shook her head. "You're a pain in my ass, Edward Anthony. I want you to listen, and listen good. I want this wedding to be special. Bella deserves special. You want a special wedding, don't you?"

I looked over at Bella and felt like the biggest idiot ever. She looked upset. Like a little girl.

"Yes." Her voice was small and quiet, so not my Bella at all.

"Then you'll get it. Hire whatever, Mom, but please let her pick some things, too. It is, after all, her wedding. If she likes ugly flowers," I said while Bella smacked my shoulder.

"Hey," she said, scowling.

I squeezed her hand. "I'm just saying… you and my mom don't have the same taste—obviously. You like things loud and colorful. My mom likes things boring and plain."

I got smacked by my mom and knew I was pressing my luck. "Fine… you two work it out, but please, fucking leave me out of it. Whatever you come up with is cool with me. I could really give a shit. I just want to say "I do," put a ring on your finger, and kiss you in front of everyone once they pronounce you Isabella Marie Cullen. That's all I care about."

I heard my mom sniff from beside me and turned to look at her. She waved at me and covered her face with her hand. "It's so hard to believe you're my son when you're so romantic. It makes me feel so proud… like I did something right."

I laughed. "It just took a special girl, Mom. No one else ever deserved it."

Bella leaned into my side and sighed. "Can we go home so you can sex me up? I get so horny when you talk that way," she said, unfortunately, loud enough for my mother to hear.

"Guess we'll see you later, Mom," I said, laughing.

I kissed her on the cheek and laughed at the expression on her face. She was appalled, as usual.

I couldn't be bothered. I had a horny fiancé to handle.

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><p><strong>END NOTE:<strong>

**Thank you for reading :) Loves and kisses and peace and popsickles XO**

**J'me**

**Twitter : Prettykittyff**

**Facebook: J'me Pretty Kittyff**


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**No Beta**

**Most mistakes are intentional anyway... lol. Bella has her own language.**

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Well, if this just ain't the shits. It was bad enough that I had to sit through lunch with all these ol' bitties, but now they have to tag along while I try on dresses? These dang people were so weird, I tell ya. They couldn't so much as wipe their asses without a damn audience.

"Y'all ain't gonna watch me now, are ya?"

They was a real Persnickety bunch of old bags, too. Even the younger ones. Swear on my mama's tits that they were half dead and drugged up on some mash. Not one of 'em smiled the whole time we was eating, and one of 'em had an evil eye on me somethin' fierce. I was 'bout to knock her dang block off, but my jeans was too tight for fightin'. I didn't need the whole country club lookin' at my crack. She wasn't worth all that hassle.

Plus… I didn't want Mama Cullen to get mad, and I had a feeling she would be had I belted that girl in her ugly mug. I was gettin' better about watchin' my manners and actin' all lady-like with Mama. She was really uptight, but she sure was sweet to me. Having her mad at me would break my heart all up.

Mama Cullen smiled and shook her head. "No, darling. You go back behind that curtain and the dresser will help you with the gown. If you need me, just call. I'll be sitting right here."

I smiled and nodded.

We'd walked around the dang store for over an hour lookin' for dresses. There weren't many I cared for, but Mama found some she liked, so I decided to be nice and let her have a look-see at 'em. They were as big as a barn, all fluffy and poufy. They were pretty, but I didn't see how I was supposed to drag the damn thing through the sand to First Beach for the weddin'. I really don't think she got it—and I think she was still hoping we'd have it at some fancy hotel or whatever. Pretty much why she was shovin' the dang country club down my shoot every time she got a chance.

That place smelled like the shampoo I used to wash my dogs. Old and fuddy and gross. Plus, my kin wasn't gonna trek all the way to Seattle just to watch me get hitched. They'd all probably disown me if I didn't get married like a normal person. I mean, I could pay for everyone in the trailer park to go to I hop two times for the same amount of money she wanted to pay to buy a cake! A cake! My mama could make a mean cake, probably big enough for her to jump outta if I asked her, and she wouldn't charge a nickel. One thing 'bout the Cullens… they was as flashy as a bejeweled g-string under a strobe light.

It was crazy balls.

The lady helpin' me get dressed was as old as wooden teeth, but she was sweet as a peach. I think I made her blush when I got down to my skivvies, but you'd think she'd be used to girl parts and such, seeing as it was her job to dress 'em and stuff.

The first one I tried on looked like somethin' a cartoon princess would wear. Not enough skin showing', that was for sure, and if I knew my Fancy, and Lord knows I did, he'd want my fun bags showing'.

But, I was doin' it for his mama, so I prattled out in the big ol' thing and rolled my eyes when they starting oohin' and ahhin'.

"Beautiful. You look absolutely gorgeous," Mama Cullen said as she stood and walked over. "The lace is antique. This is a one of a kind."

I was glad for that. Damn thing was terrible.

"I hate it. Can I try on another one, please?"

She looked disappointed, but this wasn't her show. I was still me, and dang it, I didn't want everyone laughin' at me at my own weddin'.

"Well, of course. Go along…"

She went back to her seat and I turned to go back behind the curtain. Then I heard a snicker.

I snapped my head back so fast, I'd liked to of gotten whiplash.

"Somebody got somethin' to say?" I asked, glaring at the three ugly step-sisters and their beat-up ol' mamas.

They all shrugged and looked away.

"That's what I thought," I said. "I'll snatch you up bald-headed if I hear anybody yappin'."

I grabbed the skirt and lifted it so I could walk and went back behind the curtain. I pointed at one of the dresses I picked, a sleek and form-fitting one with a big ol' ruffle at the bottom.

"I'm trying that one on next," I said.

I'd shut those bitches up. They'd have no words in their mouth when they got a look at my ass in that dress. That'd shut them right the hell up.

I stepped into the dress and started wigglin' it up my legs. As I got to my thighs, it wouldn't budge and I cursed it all to hell.

"Damn thing ain't got stretch? What kinda racket you runnin' here lady?"

Her mouth open and closed quickly, like a bass at the bottom of a fish bucket. "Well? Get me somethin' else!" I cried.

She scampered off quickly, leaving me to struggle with the dress. "Sharp as a marble, that one. Dang it."

I decided to see if Mama Cullen could help me. I was bound and determined to fit in that sucker if it was the last thing I did.

I poked my head through the crack in the curtain and tried to get her attention. "Pst! Mama! I need some help back here."

She looked surprised, but jumped up, laying her purse on her seat and running toward me. "Of course, dear. Of course."

She looked so excited, and I thought for a minute that it was a shame she didn't have daughters. The wedding crap was real important to her, apparently, and she was just in a tizzy over all and everything that had to do with it.

She came inside and her brows furrowed. "Oh dear… should we have Elsa pull a bigger size?"

I huffed. "I ain't too fat. The damn thing won't budge 'cause it's made all wrong. They were too cheap to use spandex!"

She smiled a little and moved behind me, grabbing the dress by both sides. "Well, sweetheart, traditionally wedding dresses aren't made with spandex. This is satin. You may need to go a size up."

She started pulling and I dug my toes into the floor so I wouldn't tip over. "Almost there," I said, holding in my tummy and all the other parts I could.

"Maybe you're retaining water. That entrée you ordered at lunch was a bit salty."

The dang "entrée" I'd ordered was hardly fit to be called a meal. It was a pork chop. One. I ordered pork _chops¸_ but I guess that place was runnin' out. My belly was beggin' for the bag of pork rinds and squeeze cheese I had waitin' at home.

I was 'bout to fall out from starvation.

"That ain't it. That was hardly a dang snack! My jeans ain't even pinchin' my belly."

She sighed. "Well, this just won't work. Breathe in really deep and let's see if we can do this."

I did. Breathed so deep I got light headed. "Whoa. I gotta sit for a sec. Got dizzy," I said, wiggling out of the dress and sitting down in front of the mirror.

I was frustrated and hungry and cranky and I had to pee something awful. The, like a flash of a shooting star, it hit me.

"Hot damn! He finally knocked me up!"

Mama Cullen gasped, and I heard someone cry out from behind the curtain.

"Bella, are you certain?"

I smiled and nodded happily, rubbin' my belly like a fat milk-drunk cat. "Oh, I'm certain. I was afraid our boy was shootin' blanks! The way we go at it…" I said, raising my eyebrow, "You know he's as horny as a two-pecker Billy goat. I was startin' to wonder!"

She looked like she was gonna faint. I was sure she'd be just happy as a clam that I was givin' her some grandbabies so soon.

"You excited, or not? You look sick!"

She nodded, and then shook her head. "I don't… I mean, well… the wedding! Oh God… the bride's pregnant!"

Then she started laughing. Hysterically. Like a freaking loon.

Damn woman done lost her marbles.

"Mama… you're so happy! I'm so happy, too!"

Then the curtain was wrenched open and the ladies all stood there, mouths wide open like mud skippers on crack.

"I knew it!" One of the girls yelled, her face red as a beet. "He's only marrying her because she's pregnant! I told you, Mother!"

I gave my neck a roll. "Bitch, are you slow? I just done figured it out. He's marrying me 'cause he loves me. You don't know a damn thing, and of course he'd marry me if I was full of his kiddles. Edward Cullen is a saint and a true gentleman. He wouldn't leave me to fend for myself!"

She started cackling, tears springing to her eyes. "That's just it then! Years of effort for nothing!" She threw her hands in the air and screamed. "I gave him oral sex!"

I cringed. Her mother swooned. Mama Cullen choked.

"Well, like I said," I snapped, moving forward to get in her face. "The man is a saint for letting you near his tallywacker. You look like you've been pulled through a knot-hole backward, you three-bag hooker!"

One of her friends laughed, the other wrapped her arms around her. "Well…" her mother said. "I've never…"

"Sucks for your old man," I quipped. "Well, I guess you don't suck, but that ain't my no nevermind."

She turned the brightest shade of red I've ever seen on flesh and turned and stomped out, dragging her cock-suckin' daughter with her.

Then I realized that I'd done messed up. I'd done so good all day. On my best behavior and everything. I even asked to use the "ladies room" instead of the can. All that hard work was in the shitter and I knew Mama was going to be pissed.

I turned around and was surprised to see her laughing quietly instead. She was stifflin' them with her hands over her mouth, and tears were runnin' down her pretty face, but she was laughin'.

"You mad?"

She shook her head. "Goodness no. Bella… those women have had that coming for ages. I would never have the guts to do it, but I'm so glad you do!"

I wrung my fingers together in front of me and looked down. "So, what do you think about the lil 'un?"

She brought her hands down to her sides and shook her head, smiling. "Well, I would've rather this not been a shotgun wedding, but I'm so happy for you two. Edward will be thrilled, and that's all that really matters."

I hugged her hard. "You're gonna be such a good gramma. I can't wait to go home and tell my Fancy!"

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><p><strong>END NOTES:<strong>

**Thank you again to everyone that's read and reviewed and rec'd :) You're all amazing!**

**Thank you also to Kitty Vuitton, Erin and Laurel. These girls keep the Quickie Mart open :) I luff them!**

**Hope you liked the lil random BPOV :) Fancy's back next chapter!**

**I won't be posting any updates next week cuz I'll in San Diego at Comic-Con. If you're gonna be there, hit me up so I can bear hug you!**

**LOVES!**

**J'me**


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**AN: MOOCHO hugs and kisses to all of you! Sorry it's been awhile with an update. I've been flaky. Can't lie. **

**I adore you all.**

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

My professor was an asshole. Seriously, the cockiest piece of shit I'd ever had to deal with in my life. He hated me, and made it well known the first day I sat in class. I wasn't sure what his damage was, but I needed the class. I wasn't down to prolong my education just because of one dickhead.

As usual, I tried to listen to what he was saying to no avail. I drummed my fingers on the desk and stared off into space. I had plenty of things to keep my mind occupied, mostly a beautiful brunette that was probably at home waiting for me in a g-string and holding a dish of lasagna.

How the hell I was supposed to concentrate on anything other than that was beyond me.

My head lolled to the side and I swear I was ready to doze off when the guy behind me smacked me in the head. "Yo, I think someone's looking for you, man."

I turned around and glared at him. "What the?"

There, in the doorway was my girl. She looked haggard and was waving her hands around like a lunatic.

I held my finger over my lips to shut her up and shook my head. "_Shit,"_ I whispered. _What the hell was she doing?_

"Come here!" She called out. "Hurry up, sugar. I gotta talk to you! Right. Now!"

"Mr. Cullen," my professor said. "Is there a problem? Is there a reason your friend is disrupting my lesson?"

I clenched my eyes closed and groaned. "She's my fiancée. I need to go."

He cleared his throat and glared. "You'll be marked absent from my class for the day if you walk out the door. Three absences and you're dropped."

"Whatever, fucker," I muttered lowly.

I grabbed my book, my notepad and my pen and shoved them in my backpack and hurried out of the class. Bella was practically jumping up and down. She looked like she was about to pee her pants. As soon as I cleared the doorway, she tackled me, wrapping herself around me like an orangutan.

"Baby, what the hell are you doing? You can't pull me out of class."

"I gots some good news honey! You finally did it! You knocked me up! I got a baby cookin' in my belly! We gotta go home and celebrate right now. I couldn't wait anymore! I want to give you such a good lovin' baby!"

All I heard was, _asdkfasldkhflaskdfjasldkfa;sldkfhaskldfjasldkfjasl;dkfjlkasdjflkj!_

_What the hell did crazy bitch just say?_

"What?" I wheezed. "You're pregnant? How? What? How?"

She giggled and scratched the back of my head with her fingernails, making me groan. I loved that shit.

"Duh, baby! From all the fuckin'!"

I gripped her tightly and pressed my face into her shoulder. "Holy fuck."

Then she sniffled. _Sniffled._ Bella… my crazy little Bella was crying, and I'd done it.

I was in deep shit.

"Baby…" I said softly, pulling back to look at her. "Don't cry… why are you crying?"

"You're gonna ditch me now, huh? You're gonna take me back to La Push and leave me there to run stag while I raise up this baby! Freaking knew it!"

She pushed off me and picked up a small bag she'd dropped earlier, turning and walking quickly down the hallway.

Was it fucked up that my brain's first response was to follow the swag and swagger of her ass as she stormed away? Probably, but that's what happened. I finally snapped out of it and ran after her.

"Wait! Bella, please!"

She let out a loud battle cry and took off running like a fucking banshee. It was moments like that when I wished I'd settled for some quiet dimwit chick. She was so much fucking work. Everything I did or said pissed her off or made her rip my clothes off. Crazy part was, I never knew what reaction I'd get.

I took off faster, tackling her to the grass when I caught up to her. "Settle down. Fuckin' A!"

"Get off me, you deadbeat asshole!" she yelled, kicking and screaming.

The quad was full. _Full_. Every eye within ten miles was on us, and I really wasn't in the mood to end up in jail for assaulting my girlfriend, so I put the rest of my weight on her to keep her down and whispered in her ear.

"Seriously… stop. You're gonna get me arrested!"

"Get off me, then. Let me go."

"Never, Bella. You need to stop and listen to me."

Finally, her body was still and I moved off her, but stayed close in case she decided to jam on me again. "Now, listen," I told her. "Why the hell do you think I'm gonna leave you?"

She flopped around and struggled to get up and stood, glaring at me. "Why the hell aren't you fucking excited? A baby! We're having a baby! I made you a daddy, and you just stare at me like I got bug crawlin' outta my ears!"

Grabbing her hand, I pulled her down in my lap. "Bella… I'm excited. Ecstatic. Maybe if you'd given me a minute to _be_ excited, you would've known!"

She scowled.

I leaned in to kiss her and smirked. "You already have pregnancy hormones, baby? I don't have to worry about you trying to cut me in my sleep, do I? You're already a fucking nut… I guess I should sleep with one eye open from now on."

She reached down and twisted my nipple. "You better be nice to me, Mr. Fancy pants. I'm gonna be a mama, so show me some respect."

I hissed and rubbed the tender area. "See, you're evil. Mean woman!"

She got a serious look on her face. "You're really happy? Promise? Swear on yer mama?"

I held up my hand and nodded. "I swear. I'm so happy. Scared shitless, but I'm happy. You're having my baby."

I was stunned. I let my hand move over her stomach and pressed down. I had no idea what the hell I was going to do. I was clueless. There was not one thing about babies that made any sense to me. I had no idea what they needed, how to hold them, feed them, bathe them… never mind that pregnancy made me want to throw up. Not that it was gross, I mean, it sort of was, but that wasn't the terrifying part. She was going to change. Her body was going to change, and a person was going to crawl out of her _pussy._ It was fucking barbaric and insane and it was happening to us.

"What the hell do we do now?" I asked.

"Well, I gotta go tell my mama. I can't tell her on the phone. I need to tell her in person. Then I gotta see Alice. She's gotta do the test so I know what I got cookin' in there. We gotta go to La Push right away. You need to tell yer mama we're not coming to her stinkin' party tomorrow."

I snorted. "Why are you all pissy with my mom? What happened now?"

She rolled her eyes. "I ain't pissy. Well, I was earlier, but I ain't no more. Them bitches that she brought to lunch were awful, and I bet your sweet ass I gave them a draggin'. They ain't fit to share my air."

I wrinkled my nose. "Jesus… what'd my mom make you do today?"

I was getting sick of my mom. She was becoming a pushy hag again. The wedding shit was just getting to be too much. I was over it already. I was a day away from dragging Bella to the courthouse and telling everyone to shove it.

"Nothin'. We went to lunch, which was fine, I guess, then we went shoppin' for wedding dresses. I'm glad I got knocked up. Maybe she'll stop shovin' me into the ugliest dresses ever made. I'll just find my own damn dress!"

I grabbed her face. "Damn right you will. You know what this means, right? My mom is gonna push for an earlier date for the wedding. She's gonna freak."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't care. Let's just get hitched this weekend. It ain't no big thing."

I kissed her hard. "Baby… it is a big deal. I want you to have a beautiful wedding and remember it always. You're my princess, and I want to give you everything. The baby is a bonus. I could give a shit that this happened before we got married, but my mom will."

"She knows."

My eyes flew open. "What?"

"Yeah. She already knows. I figured it out when she was with me. I think she was surprised, but she's happy. What MeeMaw isn't happy when they find out they're gonna have a lil'un come along?"

Honestly, I was a little mad that my mom found out before I did. I couldn't do anything about it, but still—it stung.

"Come on, baby. Let's go home and talk about this a little more."

She nodded and reached for the bag. "Mama Cullen made me get a box test. Alice said these things are about as reliable as her birth control, and you know that ain't worth a shit. We'll try it anyway. I need to stop at the store and buy some margarine, though."

I helped her up and wrapped my arm around her. Suddenly, the need to protect her became fierce and primal. She was carrying _my_ baby _inside_ of her. In her body… my child. It was fucking surreal.

"Whatever you want, babe. Then we'll just go home and kick it. I want to hold my girl and rub my baby belly."

She smiled up at me, so sweet and so proud. "You know it ain't no bigger than a corn kernel, right? You ain't gonna feel nothin' yet."

I winked. "Humor me. I just want to be close to you."

"Okay, pretty boyfriend. Take me home and let's do this."

_Thank God._ The people were starting to move around us once we'd calmed down. There was no way I was living that down, though. I didn't talk to many people as it was, but still. My crazy woman could really make a scene.

I led her to the car and offered to drive, and headed toward home. I was nervous and happy at the same time. I was going to be a father… so fucking weird.

~QMC~

"So, what does it say?"

She looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Don't say shit. There's a line. That's it."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed it out of her hand. Bringing it up to my eyes, I smiled. _Positive_.

"Well, says here that we're having a little Cullen. Congrats, baby."

She squealed and jumped into my arms. "Thank you snookie poo! You gave me the best present in the world! I love you so much. You're the best man in the world."

My heart leapt. I knew she was down for a kid, but I never realized how important it was to her. She was smiling at me like I'd given her the moon and the stars. It wasn't like I'd tried to avoid getting her pregnant, and Lord knows I wasn't being careful—at all, but knowing that she seriously wanted it so badly made me feel empowered. Important. I wished I could've given it to her earlier.

"I think we have some celebrating to do. Don't you?"

She smiled and nodded. "We better hurry up. We need to get some sleep, 'cause tomorrow mornin' we gotta head out to La Push."

I groaned. It took a lot more than a few hours for me to work up to a trip to the reservation. That place wore me out.

"Ah, fuck… do we have to? Just call your mom, baby. I don't want to go down there."

She pulled my face forward with my ears. "My mama deserves more respect than a damn phone call. She's been dyin' for a grandbaby, and I want to see her face. She just knows we're gonna have the prettiest damn babies ever. She's gonna be so happy."

How could I argue with that? I couldn't. "Fine. So, we go visit your mom and come home. I don't want to stay there for the weekend, Bella. That place freaks me out."

"That place is _my_ home! Don't you dare act all fancy pants asshole on me. Boy, I swear…"

The threats started and I had no intention of getting my ass smacked around by a hormonal pregnant Bella. I had a feeling I'd have plenty of those days ahead of me.

"Why do we have to stay, though?" I was whiney, I was aware of it. I was desperate, though. I didn't want to stay.

"I gotta have her do the ring test and check my nipples."

I held my hand up in front of me and shook my head. "I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole. Fine. We're going. We're taking the trailer, though. You're mom and her wandering hands scare me."

She gave me another kiss and pulled me into the other room. "Come on, Mr. Cullen. Remind me why I stay with your grumpy ass. Take me to bed and show me a good time."

"My pleasure, baby mama."

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><p><strong> MWAH ! Big smackaroonies to Kitty for poking me and making me get on this update. Fancy loves you girly. You're a peach XO<strong>

**Gimme some loves ! See ya soon!**

**J'me**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.**

**AN: Happy Sunday everyone! I'd like to dedicate this chapter of QMC to my sweet and dear friend Miss Kitty Vuitton. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRETTY LADY! Big Fancy hugs and kisses to you! Since Fancy is your man, I thought it was only fitting that you get a lil somethin' somethin' today! Thank you for being a lil piece of sunny sunshine in this fandom! I love you my dear! I'm blessed to know you!**

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><p>I managed to talk Bella out of driving in the middle of the night to go see her mom, but that didn't stop her from waking me up at the ass crack of dawn to go.<p>

She was so excited—it was pretty adorable, if I was being honest. There was this new vibe in our home, this buzz and hum that hadn't been there before. Was it my imagination? Maybe, but I had a feeling it had everything to do with the fact that we'd created a person—a real-life human being. Part of me, part of her.

After my shock wore off, I was brought to tears. Real tears. The kind men don't cry. I was just glad Bella was the type of chick that found that shit a turn on and didn't coddle me or make me feel like a pussy.

I'd held her so tight that had she been a kitten, I would have smooshed her. I was elated. Never did I think I'd be so happy about becoming a parent, but it just felt so fucking right. I fell asleep dreaming about a rambunctious little boy and a sweet sassy little brown-eyed girl. They danced around and puttered through my head all night.

I woke up with a big ass smile on my face.

My smile widened when I looked up and caught Bella standing stark naked in front of the mirror on the back of the closet, caressing and rubbing her belly. She looked so proud, like a mama lioness with her tail in the air. Her smile was so soft, so completely full of delight.

I spent that quiet moment just looking at her. Fuck… she was just something to look at. It amazed me sometimes that she actually belonged to me, all of her… all of _that_. I couldn't help but daydream about engorged breasts and fuller hips, and the belly that would swell up with our baby. She was going to look gorgeous.

I finally pulled myself out of bed, walked over to wrap my arms around her and let my hands settle on top of hers. "You're so happy now, aren't ya baby?" she asked, smiling at my reflection in the mirror.

"I'm more than happy, Bella. I can't even express how I feel."

And I couldn't. I could not put into words how excited I was. I was ready to bust out at the seams. I wanted to take out an ad on a billboard, hire a fucking sky writer, and have that shit announced in every newspaper within a fifty mile radius.

Yes, I was the proudest dad that had ever lived.

After a quickie in the closet, an embarrassingly quick quickie I might add, we got ready and headed off toward the reservation. I'd been putting off a trip for weeks, and once I thought about it, it was a good thing we were making the trip. There were some wedding things that needed to be handled, and if we killed two birds with one stone, then even better. Plus, I really did want to see Nay-Nay's reaction to the baby news. I was sure she'd be happy.

The drive was long, especially when I was running on empty, but eventually we made it. The place always put me on edge. I had good memories of the place, but the initial impression never left me.

Nay-Nay moved into a new place, thanks to us. She'd caught Billy cheating on her with the dog groomer, so she was once again homeless. Bella wanted her to come live with us, but… yeah, fuck that. I mean, the lady was nice and stuff, but she was a little _too_ nice, if ya know what I mean. Having your junk tapped by your soon to be mother-in-law ain't no joke. It's disturbing and wrong, and yeah… it's wrong. There was no way I could sleep in my house knowing she was just down the hall somewhere ready to pounce on me.

Bella found this hilarious. She blew it off—_it's just the way Mama is,_ she'd say. Yeah, well, I wasn't dealing with that crap.

So, I broke down and bought a mobile home for her to live in. It was nice, much better than any that she'd ever lived in. She was paying me rent, and she was happy to do it. She loved being independent for once, not relying on some asshole to keep a roof over her head. She was also considering taking after Bella and becoming a makeup sales girl. She saw how happy it made my girl, and I think she was realizing that she couldn't strip forever.

So, as we pulled up to the sunny butter colored home, I smiled, knowing that at least I wouldn't have to deal with Jake or Billy this time around.

The house looked good. She'd planted some flowers, and of course she had all sorts of random crap sitting around—garden statues and signs and God knows what else. The porch had a little red swing with yellow cushions, and a "Welcome Home" mat in front of the door.

We walked up the steps and the screen door slapped against the side of the house and Nay-Nay came barreling out to greet us.

"My baby girl! Finally! I'm missed you so much!"

She grabbed Bella into a bone-crushing hug and kissed her all over her face. Tears stained her cheeks as she gave her daughter a once over. Bella was in tears, also, and it made me feel like such a selfish ass for keeping them apart. I hated feeling guilty.

"Missed you, too, Mama. How ya been?"

Nay-Nay waved and nodded. "I'm good, sweet girl. Lovin' livin' on my own. I'm the envy of this whole damn trailer park! Everyone wants to come share coffee at my house now!"

I smiled, glad to see the pride and happiness in her smile. "And you, my handsome son-in-law. Get yer ass over here and give mama some sugar."

My feet tried to crawl out of the bottoms of my shoes to anchor themselves to the ground below. I said a quick prayer, asking Jesus to please not let her touch my jewels, and opened my arms to hug her. She hugged me tight, and I let out a breath of relief, until I felt her hands slip down my back to tug on my ass.

I flew back and gave her a look. "Ah, now boy… you don't want me touchin' that tush, then you'd better hide it better. Can't expect a woman to control herself when cheeks so tight are right up in her face!"

I didn't remember putting my ass in her face in the first place, but that was one thing Nay-Nay was good at. Blaming her inappropriate behavior on everyone else. It was my fault my bulge was just "asking for it," my ass was just "begging for it," and so on and so on. I don't know what that woman expected me to do—wear a fucking space suit so I was safe from molestation?

Jesus fucking Christ.

I groaned and Bella gave her mom a stern look. "Now, Mama, yer gonna have to behave yourself. We got some news, but I think we should go inside."

Nay-Nay's eyes lit up like wildfire. There was a glint in her smile, a telling response. She knew.

"You get yer butt in that house, girly. Tell Mama."

We got inside and sat down on the fluffy couch we'd just bought for her. I hadn't seen it yet—my mom picked it out and ordered it online—but I was glad she had it. The house was almost bare.

"Mama… We're gonna have a baby!"

Nay-Nay squealed and jumped to her feet. "I just knew it!" she cried out. "I dreamed about it! I saw that lil'un. I seen it clear as day!"

Bella gasped. "What'd ya see, Mama?"

I rolled my eyes. Crazy women were fucking insane crazy.

"It's gonna be a little girl—oh, so pretty. I saw her smilin' at her MeeMaw."

Bella snapped her head in my direction, smiling from ear to ear. "A little girl, Edward! Oh, she's gonna be so dang pretty! I hope she gets yer hair. I'm gonna put it up in piggies and bows and she's just gonna win hearts like a pie at the county fair!"

"Baby," I said, sighing. "We have no idea what it is yet. It's not even the size of a fly… it was just a dream."

Nay-Nay clucked her tongue and shook her head. "Boy, I have never steered no one wrong. I know these things… I knew Bella was my Bella since before she had a face. Don't you doubt me—you got a baby girl up on her."

I blew out a harsh burst of air and sat back, knowing that I was outnumbered by whackos, so I wasn't even going to try and make sense of things.

"Okay, honey… let me see them nipples."

My eyes bugged out.

Bella stood up and pulled her itty-bitty tank top over her boobs and exposed her braless breasts to her mom like it was the most normal thing in the world to do. Nay-Nay leaned forward, looking carefully at one and then the other, then stood upright and smiled.

"Them is girly nips. Baby girl, there ain't no doubt you have a girl in there. Your nipples are already gettin' dark."

Yeah, I had to crane my neck and check it out. I had a thing for those nipples, and if there was something wrong with them, I was getting that shit nipped in the bud—no pun intended.

"What are you talking about?" I snapped. I reached forward and tapped at one of her nipples, causing her to giggle. "They look just fine—same as always."

Nay-Nay huffed. "See the circle here," she said, pointing at Bella's areola. "See how it's got a dark circle at the edges? They're turning. That means she's got more hormones in her body—so it's a girl. Just trust Mama. I know what I'm talkin' about."

I closed one eye and peered down to get a better look at her. I swore they looked the same as they always had, but maybe I'd missed the darker outline. Who the fuck knows… I was usually too busy sucking on those bad boys to pay attention to all the details. I knew all that mattered—they were puffy and they puckered up and they were sweet to suck on. That's all I needed to know.

Nay-Nay grabbed two handfuls and gave them a little lift and I had to look away. Perverted things flashed through my head seeing someone else's hands on her boobs and I couldn't watch. I was a man, not a saint.

"You're gonna hold good milk, too, little mama. Got some good tuggers, too," she said, pinching the hard nub on her breasts.

I groaned.

I needed some fresh air and a cigarette.

Pronto.

"Can you put your fucking top on now? Fuck!"

Bella giggled. "Ahh, Mama… Fancy gets boners real quick, so we ain't being nice showin' my fun bags this way."

She tugged her top down and skipped over to where I was sitting on the other side of the room with my head in my hands. Mortified.

"You want me to go take care of that real fast before we have dinner, baby love? Mama don't mind. I think Maury is on or somethin'. I'll tell her to crank the volume up so she won't hear."

I choked on my own tongue and stood, shaking my head. "Um, fuck… _baby_," I whined. "Can you not talk about that shit in front of your mom? Fucking shit!"

Nay-Nay giggled. "Y'all are gonna be the cutest mama and daddy… just look at the two of you. You're gonna have one hell of a honeymoon, I tell ya what!

I groaned again. "Hey, Renee, uh… _Nay-Nay,_ didn't you say you needed something fixed around here? I could, you know… get started on that, or whatever. Yeah, I… I'm gonna go ahead and do that now."

Anything to get out of the house.

"What'd I tell you, buttercup! You better call me mama!"

I gave her a tight smile. "Got it. Mama."

She nodded, satisfied. "Now, that's more like it. Come on… I'll show you what I need you to help me with. I need some locks put on the doors so that low-down, skirt-chasing, two-timing, whore monger Billy Black don't get back inside my house. Comes in here trying to dip in my honey pot in the middle of the night like he got the lease in his back pocket! Dumb as a bag of rocks, that man."

"Yeah," I nodded, not liking the idea of anyone coming in her house without her permission. She was crazy, but she was also a good lady. I felt as protective of her as I did Bella. She deserved better than that shit.

So, I got in the truck and headed toward town to buy some dead-bolts to fix the doors. I figured it'd be good for the two of them to spend some time alone, too, so it worked out perfectly.

I'd gotten better acquainted with the town of La Push, so things were easy for me to find. There wasn't much, so it wasn't difficult to find what I needed.

The bells on the door jingled as I stepped into the store, gaining the attention of the two other patrons and the cashier at the desk.

"Well, if it ain't the City Slicker that stole away my girl," I heard some delusional asshole say from somewhere in the store.

I scanned the area and cringed when my eyes landed on that dipshit Jake Black in all his shirtless douche bag glory.

"Fuck off, Black," I spat.

I didn't have to be nice to him anymore. Nay-Nay left Billy, so he wasn't shit to me anymore. Bella still insisted on being his friend, but I knew the dude was no good.

"Ah, don't be like that, homie. S'up? You got a beef with me now?"

I just rolled my eyes and tried to ignore his backwoods wanna-be gangsta ass. He was such a freak.

I walked over to the wall where the locks were hanging on a rack and inspected each one to find the strongest and most reliable. I could feel him behind me and I was so on edge that I was ready to just turn around and beat the hairdo off his head.

"Bella finally come to her senses and move back home where she belongs? You can tell her I'll be waitin'. Once Alice pops this baby out in a week or two, I'll be on the hunt for some new nookie."

I growled. He was fucking dead.

I grabbed his neck and slammed him back against the wall. "Don't you even think about my girl. She's going to be my _wife, _she's carrying my child!"

His eyes widened, and the narrowed just as quickly, a small smug smile crossing his lips. I let go of him and tried to catch my breath. I didn't need to kill the guy in the hardware store just to be hauled off to the Podunk pokey by Barney Fife. Plus, it'd just piss Bella off.

"'Bout time you got a kid up on her ass. Thought maybe you were important or something."

I shook my head. Here we went with the riddles. "Important? Do you mean impotent?"

"Well, excuse me if I don't talk all hoity toity and shit, Mr. big city. Fine… impotent. That French or something?"

I shook my head. You just can't fix stupid and I wasn't in any shape to start. "Look, man. You need to have some respect when you talk about my lady. And while we're at it, you tell your dick father to stay away from Nay-Nay. I'm gonna have a security system installed if I have to and if he breaks in, I'm putting his no-good ass in jail."

He raised his hands in the air and shook his head. "Hey, don't look at me. What my dad does is his business. I ain't even talking to him. He fucked my last girl, man. He owes me for that, and until he pays up, we ain't kin."

It was time for me to go. I already had a fucking migraine and I'd barely been within city limits for a little over an hour. The quicker we got things over with, the quicker I could go home to normal—or at least what I was comfortable with.

"Just… don't fuck with me."

I pushed past him and carried my locks to the counter. I was so ready to go.

The cashier regarded me with a cautious eye, rang me up quickly and thanked me for my business. I hurried out of there, and rushed toward Nay-Nay's. I was still pissed off about the encounter with Jake—that piece-of-shit—but I was just anxious to get back to Bella.

As I pulled up, the scene I was met with about gave me a heart attack. My girl, standing on the porch in her shorty-shorts, shirt tied above her belly, her rack on display like a rotisserie chicken, and a rifle as big as she was hanging from a strap across her boy.

_What the heavenly holy fuck._

Not gonna lie. That shit was so hot. It also sent a frightening chill up my spine. My girl was a little more than bonkers, and a gun in her possession was more dangerous than giving it to an inner-city gang member. They may hesitate to shoot—she wouldn't. That was a guarantee.

I jumped out of the truck and held my arms above my head. Hey, it was instinct. I'd seen it on every cop show I'd ever seen. Hands up=don't fucking shoot me. End of story. I didn't want her blowing my balls off without at least explaining myself. I didn't know what I'd done.

"Easy, baby doll," she said, giggling. "I ain't gonna shoot you, silly boy! I'm 'bout to go get some critters for mama to cook. I'm dyin' for some squirrel stew, and they're easy to get. She said there was a big fat goose out there in the pond, too, so if we're lucky, I'll nail that little fucker while I'm at it and we'll pluck it and freeze it up for Christmas dinner."

My eyes spun around in my head and bounced out comically. "Are you fucking insane? You're not going out in the woods to shoot animals! Jesus fucking Christ! Are you trying to kill me?"

She got that look on her face… the one that told me I was in trouble. She hitched her hip, slapped her hand against her waist and narrowed her eyes. "You just listen to me, Edward Cullen. I'll have you know I'm a sharp shooter. I don't never miss. I told you this the last time I was holdin' a gun up in front of ya. Don't mess with me, and no one gets hurt. I got needs and an appetite for some squirrel. I'm a pregnant woman and I should _never_ be questioned. You want to deny me some delicious home cookin?"

I shook my head slowly and carefully. Hell to the fucking no. She was holding a gun for shit's sake! I wasn't going to argue anymore. "Well, should I go with you? What if something happens… like you said, you're pregnant."

She smiled. "You can come along if you want. Maybe I'll let you get a shot in."

I shook my head. "No way. I'm not shooting that thing. It's… _huge_."

"Fine by me," she said with a shrug. "You can help mama with the house. I'll be back in a lil bit with some din-din."

I watched as she marched into the forest and disappeared. I was worried, but I trusted her. I knew she had experience with a gun and hunting and whatever other hillbilly outdoor activities, I just couldn't help but worry.

Once I had the locks changed, the deadlocks put up and a couple other little things done around the house, I went outside to sneak a smoke and wait for Bella. It'd been over an hour and it was freaking me out. How freaking long did it take to kill a couple squirrels? And furthermore, who the fuck killed squirrels to eat? I thought they were rats with fur… but apparently, they were high-end cuisine down in the boonies.

I looked toward the clearing where Bella had gone, and sure enough, there she was. I shook my head in disbelief when I spotted her, trampling through the high grass with the shotgun strapped to her body, a small bag thrown over her shoulder, and the biggest motherfucking bird I'd ever seen in my life in her hand, dragging it behind her as she walked toward me.

I could see the smile before I could see her eyes, and I knew she was so damn proud of herself.

I jogged out to join her and help her with the giant mutant bird. That shit looked heavy. "Damn, baby, what the hell is that thing?"

She shrugged. "Told you I was gonna get us a goose. One shot and he was all mine."

The thing was almost as big as she was for crying out loud. I was impressed. A little creeped out, but wow… my girl was fucking bad ass.

"What else did you get?"

She smiled and threw the bag from her shoulder. "I got half dozen little varmints. My mama makes the best squirrel stew… just you wait! You can help me skin 'em!"

Yeah, that was the end of my appetite for good. Skinning my food was a no. Eating animals that were regarded as varmints was a big ass no. No… I just hoped Nay-Nay had a box of Kraft macaroni and cheese—otherwise, I was going to be hella hungry when I got home.

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><p><strong>THANK YOU FOR READING!<strong>

**You can thank my dear and lovely friend Laurel for the inspiration in this chapter. She knows why *wink wink* Love you girly!**

**Hope you all had a great weekend, and have an even better week!**

**Hugs kisses and peace on earth XO**

**J'me**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**AN: This chapter is sent out with love, especially for Kitty and Laurel. They're my Quickie girls and I love them. Plus, they are just two of the most amazing women I've had the blessing of becoming friends with. Quickieward loves them.**

**As always... no beta. Most mistakes are intentional. ;)**

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

It was strange the way my life changed overnight. Again. Nothing was familiar anymore. My family, my living situation, my social life, my friends. Nothing. All of a sudden, like I'd been hit by lightning, I was becoming a husband and father.

Just when in the _fuck_ did it all happen?

Oh, I knew exactly when it happened, but it was still crazy. The craziest part about it was that I loved it. I was excited.

But… my wife was driving me nuts. Like… more than usual. She was moody—one minute throwing things at me, the next nearly ripping my clothes off to fuck me. I was confused. All the fucking time. I wasn't sure what she wanted, and unlike before, I couldn't read her at all.

I tried to be calm and patient, but it was hard. I wasn't a patient guy to begin with, so having her at my ass all the time drove me insane. It was on one particular night that I'd almost lost it and just walked the fuck out. Yeah, I would have slithered back as soon as I figured out how much I fucked up, but I had my pride to hold on to, too.

"_That's it!" she snapped, grabbing my beer bottle off the table and kicking my feet away. "No more drinkin' in my house. And keep yer damn feet off the furniture! You want this youngin' to think it was born in a barn!"_

_I took a deep breath and grabbed for my beer. "This is my house, too. If I want to drink a beer after being at school all fucking day long, I will. And this table? It's mine, too, so why don't you go take a pill or something and calm the fuck down."_

_I knew I was screwed as soon as I said it. "That right? This is your table? Yer gonna do whatever you want? Well, why don't you sleep right there on __**your**__ couch and you leave __**me**__ the hell alone!"_

_She burst into tears and fled the room like I'd beat her, and I just couldn't have that. I loved her—crazy as fuck and all, so I put the bottle down and followed her. I found her on the bed, curled up in a ball and crying her eyes out. My heart felt like lead in my chest. I could be such a bastard… I needed to get a grip._

"_Sweet girl… please… I'm sorry, okay? I'm tired, and I just took it out on you."_

_She rolled over and gave me the fire eye. "You're tired? I'm dog tired all the time lugging around yer spawn, asshole. My back feels like I've got a load of bricks up in me. You see how big I'm gettin'? I'm just gonna get bigger, and I still clean up your dirty drawers and cook your food and make yer home nice for you to come back to! All of this and still you treat me like I ain't important and I ain't got no say!"_

"_No, no," I insisted, shaking my head. "I mean… you can't tell me what to do, baby. You're mean sometimes… you know, with the hormones."_

_She huffed and hid her face again. "Ain't no kind of drinking around my lil dumplin'. I mean it. All the daddies I knew that drank were mean as old wolves, and I ain't havin' you drink in front of my baby."_

_I wanted to roll my eyes. Seriously… did she think I was going to take a whip to the kids after I drank a beer? She was off her rocker whacked in the head._

"_When was the last time I was drunk and mean? Oh, yeah, never. Bella… you have nothing to worry about, okay?"_

_She sniffed. "Not in the house, okay. Can we make a deal. That's a rule."_

_I gritted my teeth. "Fine. I guess. No drinking in the house."_

_She smiled some. "So… are you excited about tomorrow? We git to see what we've got in my belly."_

_She rubbed it gently—lovingly. She was going to be such a good mom. A beautiful mom. "I can't wait, Bella."_

_I leaned down and kissed her swollen tummy, smiling up at her. "I'd never hurt this… you know that. I love this baby with my whole life… I'll worship this baby."_

_She sighed. "Can you worship the mama first? I've got that ticklin' feeling down there, and I need you to do somethin' about it."_

_I kissed her once more before moving downwards. I had no reason to refuse. Worshiping the mama just happened to be my favorite thing to do._

But… the love fest didn't last long. As soon as I'd had her screaming my name and tugging my hair bald, she fell asleep, leaving me to take care of myself.

The next day, we were sitting in the lobby of Dr. Harper, a friend of my dad's and one of the best Ob/GYN's in the state. Nothing was too good for my girl—nothing.

She was so nervous. She'd never been to any other doctor, aside of some quack on the reservation. As far as I understood, he wasn't even a real certified doctor. She was lucky that she wasn't falling apart. It made me really want to smack Renee, but it was a losing battle with that woman. She was about as mature as a teenage girl, so I couldn't really get too upset. I mean, I could, and I had, but what good would it do. She was a fruitcake.

I tried to calm her down, but she was about to crawl out of her skin. "Baby… it'll be fine. I promise I wouldn't make you do anything weird. All pregnant women go to the doctor. We need to make sure you're healthy."

She side-eyed me. "I'm healthy as a horse. You think I can't bake this baby? Shoot, I was born to have babies. Everybody says so."

I gave her a good look over. "I have no doubt that you're fine. Just humor me. Let me make sure everything is good. Okay?"

She shrugged. "You worry like an old woman. I'm just fine. I don't feel comfortable having someone up in my woo-hoo 'cept for you. Who would pick a job like this any damn way? I sure as hell wouldn't want to dig around in stranger's cooters all day. Buncha freaks."

I snorted. "If I had to be a doctor, I guaran-fucking-tee that I'd be an obstetrician. Beats being a proctologist or some other random thing. Now, that I don't understand. You chose to stick your finger up old men's asses, you're fucking gay."

She shrugged. "I don't even know what you're talking about, but sticking fingers in any crevice of anyone other than your honey is just downright wrong. They weren't raised right. I know that much. That's some crooked brain behavior."

I laughed and pulled her toward me. "I'm glad you're not a doctor baby. You're the best at what you do. You make people just as pretty as you."

She hummed. I knew she absolutely loved what she was doing. She barely made enough to break even, but she had fun and it made her happy. That was all that mattered. I had more money than I knew what to do with, and in two years, that shit would double. We'd never have to worry about money, and now that we had a little one on the way, I was more grateful for my family than ever. I wanted to make sure my kids had everything in the world they'd ever need or want. I was glad I was capable of doing that.

"You were mad about all my boxes. You ain't mad no more?"

I chuckled. "I wasn't really mad. I was mad because they were in the middle of the room and I stubbed my toe on them. Now that they're in the garage, I don't mind."

"You're the best. You know that?"

"Yeah," I said. "I do. You make me good, baby."

"Bella Swan," the nurse said from an open doorway.

I looked up to find a young nurse in light green scrubs smiling over at us. "Come on, baby. They're ready."

Bella dug into the skin on my arm and shook her head. "I ain't goin'. Forget it."

I sighed and tried to think of something to say to convince her. I knew it was no use, but I had to try. "Love, you have to do this. It's important."

She stood up and adjusted the obscenely short skirt she had on and lifted her chin. "Anything happens to my dumplin', I'm gonna make you pay. I'll shoot you out back like a burned out ol' dog."

I chuckled and led her toward the door. The nurse stopped me.

"You can wait out here while I gather a urine sample. She'll be right back."

I glared at her. "It's okay, Edward," Bella said, hiking her giant purse over her shoulder. "You just wait out here while I take a piss."

The nurse looked shocked, but I gave her a dirty look and she looked down. "I'll wait right out here."

I watched her walk behind the door and took my seat, grabbing an outdated magazine. I flipped through it roughly, sort of pissed that I wasn't back there with her, and hoping she was doing all right."

I heard rustling and looked over to find a woman taking the seat Bella had occupied earlier. She smiled, so I gave her a tight smile before looking back at the magazine.

"So… I'm sorry about your predicament," she whispered.

I looked up, setting the magazine on my lap. "Pardon me?"

She gave me a sad smile and patted my knee. "I know what you're going through. My brother is here with the mother of his child. I'm here for moral support."

I squinted at her and cocked my head. "O-kay?"

She patted my knee again and I wanted to rip it off. "You don't have to be embarrassed. It happens, you know. Sowing your wild oats," she said with a giggle.

"Um…" I had no idea what the hell this check was jabbering away about. "Why would you think I was embarrassed about being a father? I'm stoked."

She looked surprised. "Oh, well, I meant… well, that you got her pregnant."

I stood and chucked the magazine on the chair and finally got a good luck at the chick. Prim, boring, ordinary. She was one of those, and the bitch has the audacity to feel sorry for me? Was she fucking blind?

"See… _that's_ the problem with bitches like you," I roared, startling the other two patients in the room. "You think you're it… what guys like _me_ want. Well, you're wrong. We want what I have. _I_ want what I have. We want a hot, warm and loving woman like _her_. We want something to fantasize about and something to come home to. You… you're nothing short of a stuck-up Barbie doll with nothing to offer other than your anal retentive, judgmental outlook on life. You don't know shit. Go back over there and feel sorry for your brother, whom I assume is perfectly happy with the girl he knocked up."

She sat and stared at me slack-jawed and stunned while I walked away. I tapped on the window and got the attention of the receptionist.

"Hi, Mr. Cullen. She'll be out in just a moment."

I shook my head. Not good enough.

"I'm going back there. Is it locked?"

She shook her head and looked behind her, probably looking for someone with more authority to tell me to fuck off. That wasn't going to work, either.

I opened the door and went back, just as Bella walked out of the bathroom. She held a small plastic cup between her fingertips with a scowl on her face.

"They let you back here?" she asked, shutting the door behind her.

"No. I came back. I didn't want to sit out there anymore."

She smiled. "Can't be without me for a minute. Yer so cute."

I held my had out and pulled toward me. "I fucking love you."

She kissed my neck. "I love you too,"

"Okay Miss Swan, go ahead and take a seat in room three. There's a gown on the bed for you to put on, and I'll be right there to finish our intake."

I placed my hand on the small of her back and led her through the door into the small room. I felt her tense as soon as we walked in.

"What the hell?" she shrieked.

I looked around, startled. "What is going on?"

"I don't like it in here. I'm gettin' real bad vibes in here."

I shook my head. "Baby… just relax. Please just chill out."

She turned her gaze on me and I felt my balls shrink up and shrivel in fear. "Chill out? You want me to chill out? They're gonna come in here and stick things up in my sweet spot, and you want me to chill out? Let's see you go have someone stick some stuff in you!"

I shuttered.

"You're acting like I want them to torture you or something! Get a grip!"

"You're a stupid dick," she spat.

"Whatever…" I said, sighing. "Let's just get this over with and we can go have a nice lunch, okay? We get to make sure the baby is nice and healthy… isn't that a good thing?"

She shrugged. "It's fine in there. Ain't no bigger than a black-eyed pea, anyway. You think I'm doing somersaults when you ain't home? You're a real jackass sometimes."

I snorted.

The nurse walked in and frowned when she saw that Bella was still clothed. "You'll need to disrobe, Miss Swan. The doctor will be in shortly. I'll give you another moment…"

Bella peeled her shirt over her head and chucked it at me. "Just give me a minute. Jeez."

The nurse looked like she was gonna shit her pants watching Bella rip her clothes off. "Um… I'll just wait outside…"

Bella turned and huffed. "You got tits?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

The nurse looked down and then nodded, dumbfounded. "Aight then. I got 'em too. Just relax. I ain't got three or nothin'. You ain't gonna be surprised by anything you're gonna see here. Blast it!"

I snorted again, unable to hide my amusement. "Sorry… she's just not very modest. It's just how she is." I gave the nurse a small smile and shook my head.

"Don't be apologizing for me. I thought doctors were used to seein' naked people. 'Specially these coochie checkers. Ain't you ever seen a grown woman in her birthday suit? I tell ya…"

She was finally stripped down and grabbed the paper gown, grumbling about cheap bastards and God only knows what else. Once she had it on, I reached over and gave her a kiss on the nose. "Just be nice," I whispered.

"I'm scared," she admitted, looking up at me with wide eyes.

"Don't be. It's okay."

The nurse moved around us and pulled out a pair of plastic gloves, snapping them on and turning around with a smile. "Okay… let's get your weight."

Bella stepped up on the huge scale and stood as still as she could while the nurse did her thing. She moved a few things around and then scribbled something down on Bella's chart. "Now I need to draw some blood. Just a few vials is all."

Bella leaped off the scale and practically climbed up my form into my arms. "They ain't sticking me with no needles, Edward."

I hadn't even thought about the needles… and I wasn't sure what her deal with them was. "What if I hold your hand the whole time? Is that better?"

She bit her lip. "Is it gonna hurt?"

"I've been told I'm very gentle. I can do it really quick. You'll barely feel a thing," the nurse said from behind us.

I smiled. "I'll let you punch her if it hurts. How's that?"

Bella smiled. "No you won't."

I shook my head. "No. I won't. But I'll kiss it and make it all better. Now… can you hurry up so I can get some news on my baby… please?"

She giggled. "Okay… just… don't leave me. Okay?"

"Never."

She took a seat on the paper covered table and I took my place at her side, holding her hand. The nurse was kind, I had to hand it to her. She was patient and professional and I knew we'd made the right decision coming to that doctor. Bella was in great hands.

"Okay… there will be a slight pinch, but that's it. It might sting for a sec, but it'll be over before you know it."

Bella held her breath and squeezed my hand tightly. Her eyes were closed and her head was turned toward the wall as the nurse quickly pulled the blood from her arm. I was impressed. She was quick.

"Okay. We're all done here. The doctor will be in shortly."

She turned with a smile and walked out, leaving us all alone.

"Bein' without my unders is making me horny," Bella said huskily, reaching over and palming my dick.

"Oh shit," I groaned. "Baby… stop."

She moaned and smiled wickedly. It'd probably feel so good if you bent me over this table. Oh!" she said, bouncing a little. "Go lock the door and let's do it in a hurry."

I choked. "I'm not fucking you in here when the doctor is on his way in here."

"You ain't no fun," she said, pouting and crossing her arms over her chest. "I was gonna give you a hummer on the way home, too, but you can forget it, Mr. straight and narrow."

I groaned. "You're going to kill me. You know that? You need to pick a mood because I don't drop acid, so I don't get it. Know what I mean, crazy girl."

The door swung open and in walked a short, stout older man with a bald crown on his head. It was white-grey, and the tiny wire-rimmed glasses on his face made him look like Mr. Magoo.

"Well, I've looked forward to meeting you two all day. Edward is it?"

He held his fat little hand out for me to shake and I couldn't help but match his smile. "Yes, and this is my fiancé, Bella."

He gave me a firm handshake and turned his attention to Bella. "It's so nice to meet you, Bella. I've heard so much about you from Carlisle. He's quite the proud grandpa."

Bella blushed and looked down. "Nice to meet you, too, sir."

He chuckled. "No sir around here, little lady. You can just call me Doc, or Dr. Harper. So… let's see what you've got hiding in there. Shall we?"

She took a shaky breath and tried to smile. "You ain't gonna feel me up, are ya?"

He looked over at me, shocked. "I'd never…"

I held my hand up. "She's never been to an OB/GYN before. I think she's heard some horror stories."

He smiled and set his clipboard on the counter. "You have nothing to worry about. I've been delivering babies since before you were born. I'll be respectful and responsible with you. There's nothing to fear."

She nodded and looked over at me. "So… um… you ain't gonna look down at my vagina?"

He chuckled. "Oh, I'm definitely going to take a look. I need to check your uterus and cervix to make sure everything is in working order. I'd also like to perform an ultrasound today so we can get a read on your baby's heartbeat.

She gulped. "Okay. I think I trust you. But… if you hurt me, don't be surprised if I donkey kick you in the forehead."

He guffawed and shook his head. "Boy… Carlisle wasn't exaggerating. She's a firecracker. Good for you, son. Now… let's see what we have to work with, Miss Swan."

He pulled up the stool and rolled it over so he was situated at the foot of the table. "Just put her feet right in those straps, and I'll get to work."

She laid back, put her tiny feet in the holders and sighed. "This feels funny, just so you know."

He laughed. "It'll be over before you know it."

I stood awkwardly on the side and tried to look anywhere but where he was doing whatever it was he was doing. I knew the old dude was just doing his job, but it still made me uncomfortable. I didn't want to let on that it was freaking me out for Bella's sake, but it was a little off-putting to see someone else touch her… there.

"This is going to be cold," he said quietly.

I heard her hiss and looked over to see a look of surprise on her face. "That sort of fucking hurts, Doc!"

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm doing my job, son. Just relax."

I held her hand and rubbed my knuckles over her cheek. "You're doing great, beautiful. You're doing great."

He was down there for a few more minutes and then he pushed away. "Well, you're perfectly healthy. Now, let's see if your little one will cooperate with us and we can get a little picture."

I smiled. I was so excited about seeing the baby. I was fascinated. A tiny piece of me was swimming around inside of her and it was going to be a person. It was insane.

He pulled a large white wand from the machine and pushed a layer of latex over it and squirted some sort of gel on it before pushing the gown up a little bit. "Okay… this might feel a little odd, but it's the only way for us to see the baby at this point in your pregnancy."

He flipped a switch on the machine, and then slipped the device into Bella, making her squirm. She turned her head to face me, and looked every bit the part of the Exorcist chick.

"You're dead," she mouthed, cutting her finger over her throat.

I gulped. Loudly.

"Well," Dr. Harper said, eyes on the screen. "Look what he have here."

I could hear the galloping from the machine and my breath caught in my throat. "Is that…"

"That's the heartbeat… yes… Oh," he said, squinting at the screen. "Well… look at that…"

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><p><strong>Gasp… what's that? A cliffy? In Quickie? I know… so lame. BUT… you'll be glad to get next chapter. Lots and lots of goodies! <strong>

**Thank you for your love and reviews and smiles and you have no idea how happy my Quickie readers make me. Happier than a pig in shit!**

**Mwah!**

**Peace,**

**J'me**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**This is sans beta. As usual.**

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><p>"What's wrong… what?" I jumped out of my seat and stood closer to the monitor. I couldn't tell what the hell was going on with the thing at all, but I was trying my damnedest to figure it out.<p>

"No, no, no, Mr. Cullen. Everything is fine. I was just surprised… there's multiple heart beats."

Bella gasped. "What do you mean?"

"Well, let's see here," he said, concentrating on the screen. "I'd say you are having multiple babies."

Bella shrieked and I watched as he flinched. "Twins? You're full of shit! Ferreals! Oh my God! Edward, did you hear that? Twins!"

I couldn't answer. I think I was in shock. My legs were numb, my lips wouldn't move, and I had a splitting headache all of a sudden.

I felt a tug on my arm and looked down to see Bella's sparkling smile. "You ain't happy, Fancy? You look like you're gonna barf."

The doctor chuckled and I finally remembered that he was still in the room. "Well, son… you might want to grab a seat," he said.

I sat without even looking behind me. Thankfully, there was a chair close enough to catch my fall. Bella reached over and grabbed my hand, and I held it so tightly my knuckles turned white.

"If you look right here, you can see… one… two… three. There's three heartbeats. It looks like you're having triplets."

He said it so nonchalantly, like telling me I had mustard on my lip. I was losing my shit. _Triplets_. What the hell was I going to do with three of them? I was just getting used to the idea of _one_. Three?

Motherfucker.

"Mr. Cullen? Do you need a moment? I know this is a shock."

I scoffed. "Ya think?"

Bella giggled. "My baby daddy is so cute!"

I looked over at her and raised my eyebrows. "Seriously?"

She giggled again, and if I hadn't been on the verge of a full-blown panic attack, it would've been cute. It wasn't though. I was thoroughly shocked.

"I'm gonna get so huge. Like big asa house! You know that, baby? My belly's gonna look like a hot air balloon."

I gulped. Jesus… her body was going to explode. Where the hell would you put three babies? I still wasn't sure that I understood where one fit in the equation.

"Are you sure?" I finally managed to ask. I mean… doctors made mistakes too.

"Well, it's right here in front of my face," he said, amused. He used the tip of his pen to show me the three tiny specs that were apparently the hearts of my babies.

I blinked. Repeatedly. "I think I need to sit down," I mumbled.

Bella giggled. "You are sitting. You okay, Fancy? You're actin' a little bit on the dumb side."

I shook my head and confirmed that I was indeed sitting. "Triplets? Like… three kids. One. Two. Three… oh shit," I whispered.

"Doc… I think my man needs some help. He's gone coo-coo crazy over there. I think maybe this is too much info."

I shook my head. "No. I'm okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay."

The doctor pushed away from Bella and pulled the wand from inside of her, setting it on the table. "This is a blessing, son. Your wife is healthy and I don't see any reason why this would cause any harm to her or the babies. She'll have a more complicated pregnancy, which is to be expected for anyone carrying multiples. We'll keep an eye on her, and everything will be fine."

I nodded. I needed to get out of there. Immediately. "So… um. Are we done here?"

Doc thinks he's funny chuckled again, and I wanted to knee him in the balls. "We're done. I'll let you get yourself together, Bella, and the receptionist will give you another appointment for four weeks from now. If you experience any pain, call immediately, and if it's after hours, go to the ER."

I nodded, not really paying much attention. Bella jumped off the table as soon as he walked out and tore the paper robe off.

"I think I need to drive us home. You're not doing so hot." She wiggled into her skirt and top and I stared numbly at the wall.

Home. Yes. I needed to go home.

"You wanna stop by and tell Mama Cullen first? She's gonna have a heart attack!"

I completely agreed.

"No!" I said forcefully. "Not yet. We can't tell her."

She looked at me like I had snakes in my ears, but nodded. "Okay… you ain't gotta yell at me. Damn. Yer acting crazy, Edward Cullen and I don't like it one damn bit. Get your shit together."

She walked out, swinging her hips angrily and let the door slam behind her. I took a few deep breathes and followed a few minutes later, knowing I was being a total dick, but I needed some time to absorb things.

When I got to the lobby, the receptionist pointed at the exit, glaring at me like I was the biggest piece of shit on earth. I flipped her off and went out to find my girl.

She was already in the car, so I knew she was pissed. I wasn't in the mood to fight, so I got in the car and looked straight ahead silently as she drove us home.

She got out of the car and went inside without a word and went to the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. I was going to have to grovel soon, but I needed to think.

I knocked on the door and waited for her to answer, but she said nothing. "Baby… I'm sorry, okay. I was just shocked. That's all. I'm sorry."

It was lame, and I wouldn't have been surprised if she came out and beat my ass, but I had to give her something. I sighed and laid my head against the door. "Let me in, Bella. Please."

She ignored me, so I went out to the living room and sat on the couch. I stared at the wall for a minute, trying to figure out what I was supposed to do next. _Triplets._ Jesus fucking Christ.

About five minutes later, the door to our bedroom swung open and Bella stomped out, shoving the phone in my face.

"Yer mama wants to talk to you."

I looked up at her with wide eyes. "What the fuck?"

She shrugged one shoulder and raised an eyebrow at me. "Pull yer head outta yer ass. Talk to yer mama. She's pissed."

I grabbed the phone and watch in surprise as she walked away, leaving me alone with the phone—and my mother on the other line, not knowing what the hell she'd said to her.

I gulped. "Hello."

"Edward Cullen! I cannot believe the way you acted today. Have you lost your mind?"

I shook my head, even though she couldn't see it. "I said I was sorry," I said meekly.

"Jesus! You really need to grow up. She's beside herself upset. How could you do that to her?"

I wiped my hands over my face and groaned. "I freaked out. I freaked out!"

"Damn right you did. Now, you listen to me. Your wife is coming over here for a little bit. She needs to talk, so Rosalie is on her way to pick her up. I expect you to do the grown up thing and get over it while she's gone. When she gets back, you get on your knees and beg for forgiveness."

She hung up before I could answer, and I startled at the sound of a horn beeping out front. Bella walked through the living room without turning to look at me, and it pissed me off.

"You're leaving?" I asked.

"Sure am, dumb ass. I'll come home when yer acting like the man I love. Put the pussy away, Cullen. Man the fuck up."

She slammed the door behind her, and I launched the phone at the door, cringing when it shattered and fell to the floor. Now… normal people wouldn't fight after finding out they were lucky enough to have three babies. We weren't' normal, though. She was crazy as a fucking loon, and I was a dick.

We'd get through it.

Until then… I was going to get shit-faced and forget about it. Get used to it. Whatever.

One beer turned into three, three turned into six, and by the time the case of beer was almost empty, I was cock-eyed and peg-legged. Not that I was moving around much, because I wasn't. I was flat on my back on the couch, some random crap on TV blasting in the room, and blissfully drunk as fuck.

And then she came home.

The door slammed, jolting my body and making my head pound. I wasn't in the mood to fight about it, or talk about it for that matter.

"What'd I tell you about drinkin' in this house?" she snapped.

I scowled and pointed my beer bottle at her. "Don't start with me, Bella. I swear to God… just don't yell at me tonight."

She wasn't having it. She stomped over to the couch and kicked over the pile of bottles I'd accumulated on the table.

I jumped up and pointed at her. "I mean it, Bella. If you don't leave me alone and let me just… be drunk, I will domestic abuse the fuck out of you. I will _kick_ your ass!"

She laughed.

It wasn't funny. I was ready to shove her in a trunk and keep her in the garage until she learned to shut the hell up.

"I'd like to see you try it, you big ol' pussy boy! You think you're so bad ass, but you can't even handle having a few babies. You're a dumb shit, Edward. A big bag of stupid. You go ahead and drink up. Tomorrow, you better remember your promises to me, or I swear on my fat white ass that I'm leaving you and runnin' back to the rez. I mean it. Figure it out."

She stormed off, leaving me stunned and confused, but most of all, guilty.

I dropped the beer bottle and leaned down so my head was between my knees. I took a few deep breathes and then the tears started. What the hell had I done? I'd treated her like shit… I loved her… adored her. I didn't want to hurt her. I had to fix things.

I was scared. I was more than scared… I was freaking the hell out. Underneath it all, there was a thrill of excitement—I wanted to be a dad, I just didn't know how.

Long after the house quieted down, I got up and made my way back to our room. I was afraid the door would be locked, but thankfully, she'd left it open. I pushed inside, and found her sprawled out on the bed, snoring softly. She looked like a little cupcake in her tiny pink and white polka dot pajamas, her hair pulled up in a messy knot on top of her head. She was on her side, curled up on her side of the bed. The blankets and sheets were twisted and messy, and I knew she'd struggled to get some sleep. And it was my fault.

I wanted to just climb in behind her and hold her until it was all better, but I knew that it'd take a lot more than that to make things better.

I took a shower, instead, ridding myself of the sweat bitter stench of beer. I sobered up as I scrubbed away the muck, and tried to think of what I could say to her to make it right. She was a hard-headed woman. It'd take way more than a regular "I'm sorry" to get me out of the doghouse. I still wasn't sure why I was still inside the house after the way I'd behaved.

That's when I realized just how deeply I'd hurt her.

_Fuck._

I couldn't decide if I should sleep on the couch, or in bed with her, but I knew where I wanted to be. That was next to her. She could beat me up when she woke up, but I wasn't going to let her wake to an empty bed.

So, I climbed in bed and carefully pulled the covers over myself, sliding my leg over so I was touching her. I lifted the sheet and covered her up to the shoulders so she wouldn't get cold, and took a deep breath. My buzz had left me the second I figured out how pissed she was, and all I could do was think. I thought about waking her up, telling her how sorry I was and how I would try to make it up to her every single day, but I knew she needed the sleep, more.

I didn't sleep well at all, but I got enough rest to allow me to get up clear headed and ready to make things better for Bella. I slid out of bed, jumped in the shower, and then headed out. I wanted to pick her up some sweets for breakfast. Something she'd love. She could eat a full dozen raspberry jelly donuts, so that was my first stop. I also bought two cartons of chocolate milk—her favorite, and then headed toward a store I never thought I'd have reason to visit.

Toys R Us.

Jesus _fucking_ Christ. That place was an acid flashback hell if I'd ever seen one. Too many people. Too many things. I had no idea where to start.

I walked around in a daze for a minute, wondering where to start. I finally found a section of the store that had babyish things, and walked up and down the aisle. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. What to get. Nothing? Something? Three things?

Fuck… three fucking things.

I ran my hand through my hair and laughed under my breath. It was a damn good thing I was a rich little bastard because looking at the prices of shit… three kids was gonna cost me a grip of money. I picked up a plastic package of diapers and turned them around in my hands before setting them down. It was a little stupid to buy diapers for little asses I didn't even have, so I moved down the aisle again until I got to the end.

There I found racks and racks of baby clothes. I squinted my eyes and frowned. I had no idea… plus, I couldn't buy some pink shit if they were boys, or blue shit if they were girls, or whatever… vice versa and shit… right?

I picked up a little t-shirt with a monkey on it and smiled. I held it up, turned it around and around and finally grabbed up two more. I walked around a little more, and then found a shelf with some bibs. Yeah, I knew they were bibs because babies wear bibs.

I found one that said "_I'm cute, my mom's cute, and my dad's lucky." _ They were perfect, so I grabbed three and headed to the counter, ready to get the hell out of that place.

I paid, and practically sped all the way home. Home to my girl.

When I pulled into the driveway, I took a deep breath, grabbed my bags, the donuts, and got out of the car. The house was quiet and still when I walked it, and I breathed a little easier knowing she was still asleep. It gave me time to get situated.

I set the donuts on the table, put her milk in the freezer to get it really cold again, and pulled the presents out of the bag, setting them next to the donuts. Then I got another idea. I grabbed a pen out of the drawer in the kitchen, and scribbled on top of the pink box.

"_Roses are red, violets are blue,_

_You're the girl of my dreams, _

_And I want to make yours come true."_

It wasn't my best work, but it'd have to do.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Twilight**

AN: Thank you all for the love you sent last chapter! I tried to get all my replies out, but as some of you know, I had a family emergency this week, so I didn't get a chance to get caught up. I read them, and loved them, and they always give me the motivation to write more. And I did! I wrote while I was waiting for my son at the dentist this week… so here ya go! I have a good portion of next chapter going, so it won't be long for another chapter soon!

**Kitty and Laurel… this is always and forever for you girls. XO**

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><p>"Baby, baby, baby… wake up," I sang in her ear, kissing her neck and climbing into bed next to her.<p>

She groaned and pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. "Come on, little sexy mama… I have a surprise for you."

"You done being mean?" she grumbled into her pillow. "I don't wanna deal with your sorry ass today. I feel just awful."

I wiggled my arm so it was underneath her, and wrapped the other over the top of her. "I'm so sorry I'm such a bastard. Let me make it up to you. Please."

I heard her sniffle and my heart sank. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I don't know what got into me."

She lifted her head and wiped her face on my arm and turned over. "You don't want these babies. My heart is just broken in a million pieces. I know we didn't plan on so many, but this is like a damn miracle, and you act like I gave you the clap, not three damn babies!"

"I do, though! Baby, I want them… all of them! I just got scared. Honest! I mean… six months ago I didn't even know that I wanted a relationship, and then I meet you and we fall in love and we're getting married, and now all these fucking babies? I know dick about kids, Bella. Di-ck. I'm afraid I'm going to fuck them up! I'm a terrible role model. I'm not going to be a good father!"

She gave me a dirty look, and then turned the most horrible color of green that I'd ever seen before leaning over and chucking the contents of her stomach in my lap.

"Oh God…" I jumped off the bed like… well, like I was covered in throw up. Like I was.

"I'm sick," she whined, but I was too busy disrobing to see what was going on.

Next thing I knew, she was running toward the bathroom, and I was standing in my boxers, totally disgusted. "Bella? Baby, are you okay?"

"I'm dyin', Fancy. Good Lord, my insides are on fire!"

It hurt my heart to hear her in so much pain. I just hoped it wasn't my fault that she was like that, that I hadn't upset her too much. "What can I do? What do I do?"

I stood at the door and looked in on her, all curled up at the toilet and wanted to cry. "Fuck, tell me what to do!"

She pointed her head behind her and wagged her finger. "Get me one of them hair thingies for my hair so I can get it out of my face!"

I jumped into action, grabbing one of those claw things she wrapped her hair up in and handed it to her. "Do it for me," she asked.

I pinched the ends together and it flew across the room, snapping in my hand. "God damn it, shit!"

She heaved again, and a sob clambered from my chest. "I'm calling my mom, or an ambulance. I don't know what to do!"

I grabbed the claw and pulled her hair back and caught most of it inside of it. "Is that better, baby? I'm so sorry, Bella. I'll never make you cry again. I swear, I will never upset you like this again."

She lifted her head and looked at me. "It's the sickness, Edward. It's the sickness."

She was rambling and rambling and I still wasn't sure what to do. I fled from the room and grabbed my phone, dialing my mom. She didn't pick up the house phone, so I hung up and dialed her cell phone. It was early, so I didn't know where the fuck she could be.

"Pick up the phone! Jesus," I yelled at the phone.

Finally she did.

"Edward," she said quietly.

"Mom!" I yelled. "Come quick! Something's wrong with Bella! There's babies, and she's sick and there's something wrong… oh God!"

"Edward, calm down. Now, how long has she been sick?"

I sniffled. "She just got up. She was mad and I got drunk and I bought baby clothes and donuts and she's sick and I can't make it better. What'd I do to her?"

I was full on crying then, but it was my mom, so whatever. I was beyond trying to hold on to my pride at that point. If something was wrong with my girl, I'd lose my shit. I'd die.

"It's probably morning sickness, and that's perfectly normal."

"This isn't normal, Mom! She threw up on me and it won't stop. Can't you hear that? She's yakking up a lung!"

My mother sighed. "I'll be there as soon as I can, darling. Get her some water and some crackers. Do you have crackers?"

I ran my hand through my hair. "I have no fucking clue. She shops for food…" I kicked at the dresser and shook my head. I had no idea how to do anything.

"I'll pick up some saltines on my way there and some ginger ale. Just be there for her, Edward. Just be loving and be there."

I nodded, knowing she couldn't see me through the phone. "Okay, Mom. I love you. Hurry."

I snapped the phone closed and tossed it on the bed before going back to Bella. She was in the same spot, her head lying on her arm and her legs crossed underneath her. She was moaning and groaning and I wanted to take away all the pain.

"Baby… what can I do for you? What can I get you?"

She shook her head and moaned.

I sat down on the bathtub behind her and rubbed her back. "My mom's coming, baby. She's gonna bring some stuff to make you feel better. I bought you donuts, but I didn't know you were sick."

She peeked at me from under her arm and smiled. "You bought me donuts?"

I smiled right back. Mention donuts and my girl was full of life. "I sure did. Jelly ones, even. You gotta get better so you can eat them."

She wiped her mouth on her shoulder and sat up. "Whoa… dizzy," she said with a little laugh. "This shit's gonna be real old."

I grabbed a hand towel from the rack and wiped her forehead for her. "I'll go get you some water, okay?"

She grabbed my ram. "No. Stay."

"Okay, baby. Fuck… this sucks."

She stared to squirm, trying to get up, so I lifted her off the floor and set her on my lap. "Are you done throwing up?" I asked. I wasn't too concerned for myself at that point—I was already undressed and the shower was right there, but I really wanted to get her cleaned up and back in bed.

"I think so. For now. Just 'bout puked up a lung, damn it all!"

I laughed and kissed the top of her head. "Let's run a bath for you. Would that feel good?"

She nodded. "That'd be nice. Then I want some donuts."

I stood, set her down on the edge of the tub and started the water. When I looked back at her, she was looking down at her fingers, fumbling nervously.

"Hey," I said softly. "What's wrong now?"

She sniffled. "That wasn't very pretty, was it?"

I kneeled in front of her and lifted her chin. "You're always pretty, sweetheart. Those damn babies are doing it. That's what mom said."

She scowled. "See right there? Them damn babies? Thems my babies, Edward. They ain't no damn babies."

I held my hands up in surrender. "I didn't mean it that way! I told you! I love them, Bella. I do! I don't want something wrong with them, either. I got scared. I don't want you sick the whole damn time."

She shook her head. "The sickness is a good thing. It's good that I throw up. Means the babies are good and growin. Ifin I have it more than once a day, it'll mean I got girl babies."

I wrinkled my nose at her. "You can't tell what kind of babies that way, Bella."

She rolled her eyes. "It's a fact. Pretty soon Alice will be able to tell when my belly gets bigger. Depends how I'm holdin'. I can already feel I'm gonna be heavy in my ass. Means I gots girl babies."

She was smiling like an idiot, which told me she was looking forward to some girl babies. "You want them to be girls?"

She rolled her eyes. "'Course I do. Three beautiful little girls and they'll be beauty queens those three will."

I sat back and laughed. Really laughed, like laughed my ass off. "You know… that'd be my luck. Three fucking girls… that's Karma if I've ever seen it. I'll blow my head off before I'm forty."

She punched my shoulder. "You'll do no such thing Edward Cullen! Them babies are gonna love their daddy like the moon and stars. You're gonna be the best damn daddy, I just know you'll be the best."

I smiled. "How do you know that? I'm pretty sure I'm going to fuck this up."

She held my face in her hands and looked me deeply in the eyes. "You are gonna be a damn good daddy. You love me bigger and better than anything I've ever seen, Fancy. Even when you're as useless as a one-legged dancer in a kick line, you're better than any man I've ever known. We'll figure this mama and daddy stuff out together. So long as you don't drop them on their heads, we'll do just fine."

I swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. "You'll help me? I don't know… I mean, I don't know shit about babies. I went to the baby store and didn't know what the fuck half that shit was for. I think I've held one baby my whole life and I was like… ten and sitting on a couch with half a dozen adults standing around. I don't know what they eat, or what they like or anything."

She leaned forward and kissed me, and even though she smelled like straight up shit, I kissed her back. She was my baby-mama. I was way past giving a shit about a little puke.

"We got love and that's more than most people got. Alice done cares for all her babies all alone most of the time, and she ain't messed one of them up yet. If she can do it, so can we."

"I love you, doll. I really do." I leaned my forehead on hers and smiled.

"I love you, too, Fancy. Now… let me get in this tub while you go grab my donuts. And bring me a Dr. Pepper and some cheese, too. Oh, and let me see them gifts you got. I wanna see what you got for our babies."

I smiled and got up, helping her out of her clothes and into the tub. "I'll be right back, baby."

I left her alone to soak and started grabbing all the shit she asked for. I'd gotten everything ready when the doorbell rang, so I took a detour to open the door to let my mother in.

The door swung open and I was greeted by the bemused face of my mom. "Edward, dear… did I hear you correctly when you said she has "babies?"

I couldn't help it. I smirked. "Congratulations, Grandma. We're having triplets!"

First, she went white. Then, the bottle of ginger ale fell from her hands and bounced off the porch steps, and then she teetered a bit and fell forward, just in time for me to drop the shit I had in my hands and catch her before she blacked out.

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><p><strong> Thank you so much for reading ! You Quickie readers are my heart XO<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**No beta... this mess is all mine.**

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><p>I could hear the music before I even got out of the car. My study group—Ben, Liam and Siobhan kept looking back and forth at each other as we got closer to the house.<p>

"You have a roommate or something?" Siobhan asked.

I chuckled. Yeah, a little hell fire sex kitten with rosy tits and a bitable ass—a soon to be wife and baby mama. "Something like that. My fiancé," I said.

I turned and smirked at the surprised looks on their faces. "You're getting married? That's cool, I guess. Starting kind of young," Ben commented.

"Well, when you know you know," I said.

The music was thumping—that shitty rap garbage she loved so much—and I groaned, knowing, _just knowing _she was in there somewhere shaking her ass. I loved coming home to see her in action, but I had a feeling she'd forgotten I was bringing people home. They were either going to be traumatized, or they'd get a good eyeful. Either way, I had to find my girl.

"Baby," I called out.

She didn't answer, but I wasn't surprised since the music was so obnoxious. I found her in the kitchen, sexy and as sinful as ever in a pair of cut off sweats rolled at the waist and a barely there tank top that tied at the neck.

That ass was shaking and my dick took notice. It was owned… _owned_ by that ass. By her. I had zero control of myself or my body when it came to her, and all I wanted to do was kick those fuckers out and mount her where she stood.

_Shake it, don't break itIt took your momma nine months to make it_

_Bend over and spread 'em, girl_

_Show me those pussy pearls_

_Rub that ass and play with that clit_

_You know I like that freaky shit_

_Girl, you know you look so cute_

_Throwin' that pussy the way you do_

_Pop that pussy, hey Pop that pussy, baby_

_Pop that pussy, hey Pop that pussy, baby…_

_Jesus Christ…_ how was a man supposed to deal with that? Her dropping her ass and swinging it around and throwing it in my face. Glorious. Deadly.

I must of startled her when I groaned because she turned around, shocked, and then happy.

"Fancy! I've been waitin' and waitin' on you! What took you so long?"

I chuckled and caught her in my arms as she ran and jumped into them, kissing me all over the face and wrapping those legs around my hips. I held her tight and kissed her hard, ignoring the fact that we had company. They could wait—I hadn't held her in almost twelve hours and I was dying inside for her.

"Missed you, sweetheart," I told her, kissing the side of her mouth before setting her down on her feet. "What are you up to in here?"

She pushed her hair out of her face and then gasped when she looked behind me. "Oh, well… shit fire and save matches! I forgot you were bringin' home yer friends!"

I turned and almost laughed out loud at the looks on their faces. Ben was ash white, Siobhan was beet red, and Tyler was out and out slobbering.

"This is my fiancé, Bella. Bella, this is Ben, Tyler and Siobhan."

"Come on in, y'all. It'll only take me a jiff to whip up some snacks! I don't know what y'all learners like to eat when you're learnin', but I can make you some good stuff."

She walked toward them and ushered them into the living room. "Just make yerselves at home. I'll make up some tea, too!"

She jumped up and down on the balls of her feet, causing her braless breasts to quiver under her top, and my cock whimper. I licked my lips, my eyes dark. I couldn't stand it anymore.

"I'll help you, baby. Come on."

I put my hand on the small of her back and led her toward the kitchen, and immediately pushed her against the refrigerator once we were out of few. My hands went to her boobs, palming them and squeezing, delighting in the soft heavy joy they brought me. Bigger and bigger every day, and her soft belly was getting more and more round by the minute.

"Edward, honey we can't do nasty things with your friends here! They'll think I'm some tired ol' hussy!"

I shook my head against her shoulder and grinded against her. "Don't fucking care. Maybe they'll leave."

She smacked me hard, but moaned when I thrust into her again, pinning her to the object behind her. "I'll take good care of you later. I promise. Let me show them we're nice folks."

I couldn't have given two fucks what they thought. They were fellow students, not my fucking friends. Besides, I was pretty sure both of those guys would have given their right not to be in my position. I could guarantee it.

"I can't study with blue balls, Bella. Why the fuck do you have to look like that," I complained, moving away from her and running my fingers through my hair.

"Look like what? You sayin' I look ugly or somethin? Sorry I'm getting fat and I have to wear your clothes, but my shorts ain't fittin me no more!"

That was _not_ what I wanted her to think. "Baby… you're gorgeous and I can't resist you. You're beautiful, all your stuff is all out there, and you _know_ how much I love all your stuff. Now there's more stuff, and you're having my babies, and I just love you."

I kissed her sweetly and hugged her tight. "I'll be good, okay. You just don't need to go out of your way, honey. I don't want you on your feet so much."

She waved me off and went to the pantry, pulling out a box of crackers and pulling it open. "I'm doin' just fine, Fancy pants. I'm not a dang China doll. I ain't gonna break. I'll tell you if I don't feel good, okay?"

I sighed. "Okay. How was today? Were you sick for very long?"

She shook her head, her wild hair flying everywhere. "Just a little while. Guess they're getting used to me."

I chuckled, shaking my head. She was just adorable. One minute, hot and horny, the next mean and nasty, and then, my favorite Bella came out, the soft, sweet cute Bella.

I left her to it and went back in the other room to find the three of them huddled up and whispering.

I cleared my throat. "Ready to get started? She's making snacks if you want them."

They startled and I laughed at how obvious they were. "Edward… we were just… I mean, I was… I didn't…" Siobhan stuttered, looking wide eyed at the others.

I held up my hand. "Don't worry about it. She's a lot to take in—trust me, I know. She's just… Bella."

Siobhan blushed and looked down. "She's really… um, pretty."

Ben snorted.

"She's fucking hot, dude. Congrats on that," Tyler said, smirking.

I nodded. "I know I am. So… let's get started."

We found a spot at the dining room table and pulled out the things we needed for our project. We were just about done and I was ready to just get it out of the way. It took up a lot of my free time—time I wanted to give to Bella.

"Hey y'all," Bella sang, prancing into the room in a little sundress she'd changed into. "I have some crackers and cheese and some ding-dongs for ya."

She placed the platters in front of us—big tacky plastic ones with flowers on them—and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek. "I'll leave you alone to study now. My dogs are barkin', and the babies are sittin' on my bladder. I should just park myself on the darn gum toilet!"

"You're pregnant?" Siobhan barked out, looking down at Bella's belly.

Bella smiled proudly. "Oh, yeah, sure am, sugar! Edward here got me planted with three little seeds. He's got some powerful swimmers."

Tyler laughed, loudly as Bella turned to look at me. "What'd you call 'em, baby? Super hero sperms?"

"Fucking Jesus," I groaned before laughing. "Yeah, baby. Super hero sperm. We don't really tell that to everyone, though."

She huffed. "They're yer friends ain't they? They're probably as proud as I am. My man is healthy and strong. I'm lucky, so I'm sharin'. Look at this ol' girl here," she said, pointing at Siobhan. "She's about thirty and ain't got no baby on her…" she looked over at Siobhan. "You got any babies? One of these boys yours?"

Siobhan chocked and looked down. I was pretty sure she was gay, or just… dressed like my Uncle Ted, but she was obviously a little taken back by Bella.

"Um… no, and no." She shook her head and smiled. "You sure don't mince words, do you?"

Bella looked at me like she didn't know what she was talking about, and then shook her head. "Well, these here boys don't look like they're packin' much. Maybe you need to go lookin' before you dry up and you can't get no babies up on you. My Edward has a huge Johnson… he can shoot that sperm real far… that's what you need. Alice—she's my best friend—she says that if a guy has a tiny pecker, they can't get no baby up on ya. Gotta find one that's big, but not my Fancy."

"Holy mother of God," Siobhan laughed. "So did not need to know all that." To her benefit, she laughed and shook her head. I was a little surprised because she came off kind of… frigid. Again… Uncle Ted pants and loafers kind of gave off that impression.

"Sorry," I said, my ears burning and my face turning pink. "Baby… can you give us some space so we can work? Go lay down and I'll be there in a little bit to check up on you. If you need me, just yell."

She nodded happily and turned on her feet and left the room.

It was quiet and awkward for a moment and I wasn't sure how to break the silence. Thankfully I didn't have to.

"Don't even trip, Edward. I like her. She's fun."

I looked up and smiled at Siobhan. "Thank you. She's really special. I'm very lucky."

"In more ways than one," Ben muttered.

"Yeah…" I agreed.

"Okay… so now that your hot wife isn't here to distract us with those boobs, let's get to work."

We worked for about an hour or so, snacking on our junk food and tea, and getting to know each other a little bit. I'd been so distracted with the babies and Bella that I hadn't really spent much time with anyone at school. I was glad they'd come over, and that I'd volunteered my house to work at. They were cool people, and best of all, they liked my girl.

We gave up, and decided to order some pizza and beers. I checked on Bella after I ordered the food, only to find her fast asleep. I turned off the television and covered her up, leaving a quick kiss on her cheek as I left her to sleep.

"Is she asleep?" Siobhan asked when I came back in the room.

"Yeah," I sighed. "She's been really sick with the babies, so it takes a lot out of her."

She shook her head. "I can't imagine. And shame on you for getting her pregnant… and did I hear her say, _babies?_"

I chuckled. "She was there, you know? And yes, babies. Triplets." I smiled proudly.

"What? Triplets? I thought that only happened with In-Vitro or whatever! Wow… your dick _must_ be mutant!" she laughed.

"I don't have a tiny dick, by the way," Tyler piped up. "I have a huge dick."

I raised my eyebrow and frowned. "Good for you, bro. Just don't pull it out."

We laughed and then the doorbell rang, alerting us that the pizza had arrived. I brought it in and set it up, frowning when I saw Bella standing in the doorway of the bedroom, rumpled and grumpy with sleep.

"Ah shit," I cursed. "Hey, angel… did the door wake you up?"

She nodded lazily and walked in to where I was standing in the dining room—in only my t-shirt. "You got me some pizza honey bug?"

I pulled her into my arms and kissed the top of her head. "I did. But, hey… you need to go some pants on… um… they're still here."

She giggled. "Don't wanna share my goodies, Fancy pants?"

She gave her ass a little shake and skipped back into the room. "Fucking hell…"

How I had the willpower to keep my hands off of her was beyond me. "Foods ready you guys. Eat up so you can get the fuck out."

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Love you all the mostest!<strong>

**XO**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Thank you all for the lovely reviews from last chapter! I THINK I got to most of you with replies **** I'll get caught up tomorrow!**

**Happy Birthday to my dear beautiful friend Anna **** I love you angel! Have a good day!**

**Not Beta'd and it's a mess as usual! Thanks for reading it anyway!**

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><p>Things had been so crazy between school, Bella, babies, weddings and my family that once I was done with finals all I wanted to do was just chill out and hang with my girl. The morning sickness had gotten better finally and I was enjoying some serious pregnancy hormones and almost constant sex.<p>

I thought Bella was wild before she was pregnant, but once she was feeling better, all the girl wanted was dick-and peanut butter and chocolate ice cream. Sometimes at the same time.

There were a few times that I'd had to flat out refuse her, and that shit broke my heart, but my poor cock was aching and my balls were hiding up high. I never let her suffer, though. I'd work her to an orgasm with my fingers or my tongue and even licked her unconscious one night.

She was my most important priority. As long as she was happy, that was all that mattered. She took care of me and loved me better than my own mother had and I wanted her to feel treasured and secure. We still fought a lot, but it was always small things. We were still learning and we had a long way to go. I just didn't want to let her down and no matter what, I always ended up fucking up somehow, either with my actions or my mouth.

Our differences were what made us beautiful, but they also made things difficult. She was still a fucking train wreck with no manners or upbringing, and I was still a spoiled little prick. Finding our in between was always a battle.

But, we always worked it out. I fucking loved her so much that I'd just end up giving her her way no matter what. I'd never been a giver, but she made me want to hand over everything. She never took advantage and most of the time, she was right anyway.

She'd charged into my life like a bull on fire and every day had been an adventure. I never wanted it to change. I knew it would, though, especially once the kids came. I mean… we'd have to grow up! No more fucking in the kitchen, or the couch or the dining room, and no more drinking or fuck all if I knew. As happy as I was about Bella having my babies, they were starting to feel like a drag.

I couldn't tell her that, though. It was all she could think about. Back out there in bum-fuck, she felt like she was a reject because she didn't have on, so having three made her some kind of fucking celebrity.

Fucking weird.

My friends—or so-called friends—thought I was nuts, not that I gave a shit what they thought anymore, but if it hadn't been me, I would've been the same way. I would have felt sorry for the poor bastard I'd become, but then I remembered I had Bella, and that was all it took. I was stoked to have her in my life. I loved her, she was hot, and we were going to be really hot, young grandparents one day.

I felt bad for all the old fuckers that would be jealous.

I walked in the house and stopped short. There were people—not just any people—in my house. There were too many of them and they were fucking everywhere. Small ones… little, dirty, rambunctious ones.

_What the fuck?_

"Yer ugly, you big bag o' shit," a little girl that stood about as high as my hips said before kicking me in the shins.

"Ow!" I yelled. "What the fuck?"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," they all began to chant.

"Shut yer damn traps out there, you little dirty mouth monsters," I heard Bella yell from the kitchen.

I know my eyes were as wide as saucers, and as I looked down at the little deviant devil girls, I wondered how I was supposed to get past them to get to Bella. I decided to just be a pussy, and yelled out for her.

"Bella!"

"Fancy pants is home!" I heard her yell.

And then she was in front of me, all smiles and two long braids hanging from the side of her head. She had on a small jean skirt, pulled underneath her growing bump, and a little white shirt tied at the boobs.

Gorgeous and sinfully sexy in that dirty fantasy kind of way.

Yeah… of course I wanted to yank on those braids. Like fucking handle-bars.

Before I could get the words out of my mouth, she explained the seeds of Chucky that were now sitting on my couch like angels on a billowy cloud in heaven.

_Liars._

"Alice finally got here! Can you believe she's here?"

I laughed out of my nose and shook my head. "So," she said, talking with her hands excitedly. "So, they're gonna stay for a little bit. Jake was 'posed to stay with the girls, but you know he's just a no-good God damn worthless excuse for a man, so she's got the girls. The baby, Ruby, is stayin' with my mama until Sunday, then she's driving out here with her and… oh my God, baby! We're gonna have so much fun!"

I had to disagree. "Those kids are staying here? In my house? They just fucking attacked me!"

I pointed over at the little heathens and watched as the smallest one stuck her tongue out at me. "You see that shit? What's wrong with them? Does Alice feed them lead?"

Alice laughed and jumped up to give me a hug. "Oh, you are such a silly goat, ol' Fancy. I missed you, and the girls ain't never been off the rez. Thought I'd give them some culture and shit. Show them how their hoity toity aunt and uncle live. You got a beautiful house."

I wasn't sure if I'd just been insulted again, or if she was giving me a compliment. "Yeah, um… nice to see you, too, Alice. So… when are you leaving?"

She giggled. "I'm in no hurry! Oh, I don't know if I ever want to leave! Shoot, this house is bigger than my trailer and my mama's trailer all put together! Bella got us all situated in the guest room, and wow! That bedspread is so perdy! I been looking for one that color, but Bargain Basket has been plumb out of that color. Boy, I really love it."

I cleared my throat. "It's yours. Take it. You can take it and go."

She giggled again and went into the living room to stand in front of the troll brigade. "Girls, did y'all say hi to your uncle Edward? Tell him all nice like that you're so grateful that he let us come stay with him. You go on, now," she said with a wave of her hand.

The little nits stood and marched over to stand in front of me. The big one scowled and her pitch-black hair made her look like an evil pixie. The smallest one was adorable, if I was honest, but she was also glaring, so I turned my gaze toward the middle one.

She was plump and pretty with piercing blue eyes and dark hair like her sisters. She had on a pair of hot pink sweats that were at least two sizes too small, and some beat ass flip-flops. The clincher was her t-shirt—light blue with glittery or sparkly or whatever words that said, "Future Trophy Wife."

It was a little inappropriate if ya asked me.

"Thank you uncle Edward for being a big ol' douche bag."

My eyes tore away from short chunk, and flew downward to the little one. She was smiling—an evil, _I'm gonna stab you when you sleep_ smile, and I shuddered.

"Now, Crystal, is that any way to talk? Damn it all, y'all are just as bad as your daddy. You say you're sorry right now!" Alice screamed.

The other two giggled and the little one scowled so hard that I was afraid her mouth would pucker up and disappear. "I'm sorry you're a douche bag, douche!"

And then she ran away. Ran, like the little miscreant that she was. I looked over at Bella, only to find her giggling. "It's all my fault that she's sayin' that, baby. I called the mail man a douche bag earlier and she copies everything!"

I shook my head. "What'd the mail man say? Jesus… you're gonna get us arrested if you hit this one, Bella. The other one cost me five grand to shut his fucking mouth!"

She had an aversion to mail men. And salesmen. And the cable guy. And the Mormons. The girl couldn't get along with anyone. Everybody was a trespasser or a fucking burglar. She was looped the fuck out.

"I didn't hit his pansy ass. I told him to put the mail in the damn mail box, and he still brings it up here and puts it in the damn door hatch. He's a short brain, and I ain't havin' it. It took me all day to paint them daisies on that mailbox out there, and he just refuses to his job. He oughta get his ass fired."

I groaned. "Bella… no one has a fucking mailbox at the curb. I told you it'd just piss them off. Just leave it alone. Pretty soon I'm gonna have to go up to the post office to pick it up! You're worse than a rabid Pit Bull."

"Shut it, Fancy," she warned, suddenly not so sweet and happy to see me anymore. "Don't you start telling me what to do. I got dinner to finish up."

She turned and left the room, leaving me alone with the sirens of hell. "You did a good job, Eddie boy. Didn't know you had it in ya."

I ran my hand through my hair and dropped my back pack, and ready to run out of the house. "What for, Alice? What'd I do now?"

"You knocked up Bella good like. Three babies! And on your first try!"

I laughed. "Yeah, well…" The girl knew how to suck up. I had to hand it to her. "Well, I'm going to talk to Bella for a while. Feel free to… I don't know, hang out."

I went into the kitchen and found Bella slamming things around and mumbling to herself. "Baby? What's wrong?"

She turned around and shook a pan at me. "You're bein' mean because my friend is here. That ain't nice, Edward. I need her! I can't have these babies all by myself!"

My eyebrows flew into my hairline and my jaw dropped. "Am I going somewhere? Where the hell is this coming from? I'm out of school for the holidays, and you're being pissy for no reason! Sorry that I was a little put off by the fact that I walk into my house after taking tests all day, excited to see my wife, and I don't know, maybe make love all afternoon, but instead I'm met with a little fucking brat with a foul mouth and ass-kicking shoes. You think I like being kicked in my own house? I'm not putting up with that shit. They'll get smacked up next time they do it."

I was fuming. I could feel my blood pressure rising, and my heart was thundering. I was a man, dammit. The man of the motherfucking house. My house.

She snorted. "You sissy la-la. You're afraid of some little ol' girls, Edward? You turn yer balls in at that fancy school today? Get yer shit together. They need a father figure. Maybe you should try to give them some quality attention. Show them what a real man is like. They're just misbehavin' cuz they don't know you. You know kids will test."

I cocked an eyebrow. "They're devils."

She laughed again. "They're little girls."

I huffed and walked out, bypassing the tiny terrors and their freaky mother, and headed into my room to hide until the food was done. I was starving, and I had no idea what she was making, but I was ready to eat whatever it was. I was getting used to just eating without looking at it. It tasted better that way.

I fell asleep almost immediately, only to wake up some time later to the sound of heavy breathing and small terror inducing giggles. I opened one eye, and looked over to find a large, very furry creature breathing in my face. I startled, making the damn thing growl, and jumped out of bed with a very girly scream.

"Holy shit!"

The dog stood in the middle of my bed, gnarling its teeth and growling, while Satan's militia stood at the end of the bed laughing.

"You better get hat thing out of my room!" I yelled. "I mean it!"

The big one sighed. "I told you he was a sorry ass, Sapphire. Get Butch off the bed and put him outside before mama comes in here and lights our butts up."

The middle one whistled like a trucker and the dog obeyed immediately, following her out of the room. I caught my breath and grabbed the blanket to cover myself since I was only in my boxers.

"You know… I ain't gonna kiss yer ass," she snapped, hands on her hips like she was the most important thing in the world. "You might have some money, but I think yer just a loser."

"Thanks, sweet cakes. Now, can you take a hike?"

She scowled. "My name is Diamond, not sweet cakes. Who you think you are, anyway? Mr. high and mighty, come steal away my aunt Bella."

I laughed. "Seriously, slick. Get out of my room. Now. I'm telling your mom, too."

She laughed right back at me. "Tell my mama. She ain't gonna do nothin'. She never does."

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously. I mean, you wouldn't be so well-behaved if she actually gave you some discipline. Now, get out. Act your age."

She stomped out and I took another deep breath. Honestly, the kid scared me. God only knew how deep the inbreeding went with those people. She could have super powers or some shit. She was scary and fucking mean. I hadn't been around kids to know any different, but I was pretty damn sure she wasn't normal by any means.

But, then again… look at her mother and father. I was pretty sure her dad drank radioactive moonshine, and her mother was just… wrong on so many levels. Alice was sweet enough, but she was weird. Straight up weird. Bella was nuts, but I'd get a glimpse of normal once and a while. Not often, but it was there.

I laid back down and covered my face with my arm. There was no way I was going to survive multiple days with those people. No. Way. I didn't want to even think about it.

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><p><strong>Happy Friday everyone!<strong>

**OH… and thank you Rose Arcadia for nominating Quickie for the Lemondade stand poll this week! You rock lady and ILY **** Hope you enjoy this lil bit of Fancy XO**

**So kids… run on over and vote if you want to. www dot Tehlemonadestand dot com**

**Peace out babies! Part two is on it's way… maybe Sunday **


	20. Chapter 20

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**NOT BETA'D**

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><p>I decided to leave the house and get out for a while. I was losing my temper, and Bella was bitchy and moody. I didn't want us to fight anymore, so some distance seemed like the best way to go.<p>

I called my brother and he asked me to meet him at a sports bar downtown. I'd never been happier to see him. I was worn out, stressed and ready to just flip my shit.

"Dude, what's the matter with you?"

He slid the pint of beer he ordered for me in my direction and gave me a look of concern. "Emmett… I don't know what the hell is going on. Bella's on my last fucking nerve, and now I have a house full of hoodlums."

He took a deep pull of his beer and wiped the foam from his lips. "Rose was saying that Bella's been really moody. You think it's just the babies?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'm sick of it."

He pointed at me. "You need to fix that shit, Edward, and quick. She's pregnant, about to become your wife, and you have to figure it out. You knew it'd be challenging when you brought her here."

I wanted to cry, just break down like a little bitch. I missed her so much. I'd been so happy to see her, and then the whole day went to shit. "I don't know what to do. I'm not the best communicator, and she's got a fucking temper. She doesn't want to hear anything."

He sat back and tapped his chin. "Get away for a while. Take her to the cabin. Just the two of you. Be romantic and shit. You're way stressed out, dude. I know school is stressing you out. Get out of here and enjoy your girl. I think it'd be good for you."

The idea was intriguing. I'd thought about it myself. But, it was out of the question while the freaks were there, so I wasn't sure what to do. "I can't leave her friend there alone. Dude, those kids will blow up my house. They're horrible."

He scoffed. "They can't be that bad. I think you're just in a bad mood."

I shook my head. "This is way more than a bad mood. They kicked me, called me names and sicked their devil dog on me. I don't even want to go back."

He laughed. "You're afraid of little kids?"

I took a sip of beer and nodded. "Fuck yes I am. They're not normal kids. I'm telling you. They're crazy."

He sighed. "So, when you go home, you tell Bella all sweet like that you want to take her on a romantic getaway. Fuck the cabin; take her somewhere warm and sunny and romantic. Bella in a bikini for a few days should cheer you up."

I attempted to smile, but I knew it came out as more of a grimace. "I miss it when it was just us."

He chuckled and leaned forward, patting me on the shoulder. "Don't pout, dude. It'll work out. You two love each other, and I don't get it all the time, but you really are meant to be together. Just tell her that they have to go."

I sighed. "That'll go over well. She'll probably want to kick my ass. I don't know. All I want to do is get fucked up and forget it for a while. Tell me what's going on with you."

So he did. I heard about what was going on with his business, a trip to Tuscany that he and Rosalie were taking, and some gossip about some of our friends. I wasn't feeling half as bad as I was when I'd arrived, and knew I'd made the right decision to join him for beers. By the end of the night, I was pretty wasted, but at least I was prepared to face the fuckery at home.

Emmett drove me home and helped me inside. As soon as we walked through the door, Bella was in front of me with her arms wrapped around me and tears in her eyes. "I was so scared! Where were you? Why'd you leave me?"

I hugged her tight. I wasn't mad anymore, but I knew we had some shit to sort out. I was in no position to deal with it in my condition, so I just enjoyed having her sweet and in my arms, worried about me and loving me. It was my Bella.

"Come on, baby. Let's get you in bed. Lord have mercy, you smell like a darn brewery." She wrapped one arm around my waist and started to lead me toward the bedroom with the help of Emmett. "Why'd you let him get so drunk, Em? I think he's gonna get sick?"

My brother laughed. "He's all right. He's hurting, though, Bella. You two need to talk."

I fell into bed and rolled over, pushing my face into the pillow. "Thank you for bringing him home, Em. I'll take care of him." I heard him leave the room and then Bella returned to my side. "Fancy," she said softly, pushing my hair off my face. "Can I get you somethin'? You gonna be sick?"

I grabbed for her and dragged her down beside me. "You. I need you, Bella. Only. Come back to me, pretty girl, Bella."

"Ahh," she hummed. "I'm here, honey. I'll just lay here and hug you."

I nuzzled into her and sighed. "They… those bad, bad children hafta go tomorrows," I slurred. "I'm the man, Bella. Man of the man… house. I'm the dad."

"I know you are, baby," she said and I sniggered.

"Tell them they go away. No more kicking me."

She kissed my forehead. "Don't you worry, baby. I gave those girls what's what when I found out you left me. They're just… I don't know. Alice tries, but they're terrible to her. I'm so mad at them I could just spit!"

I turned over and looked at her. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her cheeks were streaked with tears. "You love me?"

"Course I do, Fancy. I love you so much…" She started to cry harder and grabbed the sides of my face. "I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind all day long when yer gone from me! I don't half know what to do with myself! I know it's selfish and childish, but I just want you to be with me all the time. I feel crazy in my head some days, and my body don't feel so good no more. I'm sorry I'm being such a nasty ol' bitch. Please don't leave me like that again… I'd just die!"

I shook my head and groaned when the room spun. "Shhh," I said, pressing my finger to my lips. "No more talking tonight. I can't. Hold me. Hold me and love me and gooood."

And then it all went black.

I woke up the next morning to pure silence. Bella was snuggled up next o me, and I pulled her in tighter. I wasn't sure what to think as I looked down at her tiny little nose. I wanted to open the whole wound and get it all out, but on the other hand, I just wanted that moment to last forever. She wasn't mad at me, and she was so warm and pretty.

"Mmmm," I heard her hum. I looked down to find her smiling. "Mornin' sugar," she said softly. "You still mad at me?"

I nodded. "Is Alice still here?"

She sighed. "I haven't talked to her today, silly. I'm gonna, though, okay? My mama's coming, and she can ride back with her. I don't want you to leave me, and I'll do anything."

"Go away with me," I said. "Let's just leave and get out of here away from everything. We're both stressed out. Let's forget about our families and friends and school and the wedding and all that bullshit. What do you think?"

"Like a vacation?" she asked excitedly.

I nodded. "Yeah. Wherever you want. I was thinking the cabin, since it's out of the way and no one would bother us. Plus, it's pretty up there. We can have picnics, and swim and shit… I just want my Bella back. I want you all to myself."

She bounced on the bed, and then held her belly. "Oh, snap! I shouldn't have done that! I gotta pee. Be right back!"

I watched her as she left the bed, and I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. If we could just get away and have some peace, we'd have a good time. I knew the pregnancy was rough on her, and she had a ways to go, but I wasn't going to put up with her shit for another five months. _Fuck that._

I turned over and stretched out, feeling a little worse for the wear. The bed dipped and I turned, smiling, thinking it was Bella. Instead, it was one of heaven's rejects. The smallest one.

She climbed up until she was sitting right in front of me on her knees, and reached out to tap my nose. She was dressed in a little pink night gown, her hair in a long pigtail, and a stuffed white rabbit tucked under her arm.

"Hi," she whispered.

"Hi," I said hesitantly.

"I'm Crystal. I'm five."

I felt my lips quirk into a half smile. Like I said… she was pretty cute, even if it was just a disguise. "Hi, Crystal."

She smiled. "Can you make pancakes?"

I shook my head. "Not good. Sort of. Why? You want some? I'm sure Bella will make some for you."

"You." She nodded twice and pointed.

"Uh…" I said, laughing softly. "I don't think so. Hey… where are your sisters?"

"Sleepin'."

I nodded. "What're you doing in here? You should be asleep, too."

She giggled and climbed under the covers, flopping against the pillow. "Don't tell Diamond, but I like it at your house. It's soft and clean."

I stared at her for a minute and then nodded. "I won't tell. Why can't you like it here?"

"Cuz Diamond's mean."

I huffed. "Yeah, she is. You can like it here, Crystal. It's okay."

She looked over at me and smiled, her missing two front teeth making a window. "You're my uncle Edward?"

I shrugged. I guess I was in some backwoods sort of way. She made me want to be, though. I just hoped it wasn't a trick.

"Ahh, well, lookit there," Bella said as she came out of the bathroom. "Y'all are friends now. Ain't Crystal so pretty. She can be such a good girl. Can't ya baby?"

She nodded and scooted across the mattress to make room for Bella. "Uncle Edward, can we watch cartoons in here? I like to watch 'em."

I shrugged. I felt like I was getting played, but the little thing was good… I couldn't say no to her. "Yeah, why not."

So, the three of us watched cartoons in bed, Crystal latched onto me and Bella rubbing her hair. I liked it, and couldn't wait to spend lazy days with my own little ones and my sweet wife. Emphasis on sweet wife. If she hadn't been pregnant, I would have been slipping her happy pills in her Kool-Aid. The little flashes of my crazy, funny, weirdo girl just weren't enough. They were too few and far between. I couldn't wait to get her away and all to myself.

About an hour later, the house started coming to life, and there was a pit in my stomach. I wasn't ready to face the other brats. Crystal was sweet and quiet and her giggle was amazing. I wanted to keep her the way she was.

There was a knock on the door and then Alice peeked in. "There she is," she laughed. "I was goin' out of my head wonderin' where she went off to. Come on out of there, Crys. You let Uncle Eddie and Auntie Bella alone. They don't need you botherin' them up in here."

I held Crystal a little tighter and looked down at her. She was smiling up at me, and I noticed how big her eyes were. Brown and deep and full of amber flecks. I was immediately in love with her. I didn't want her to go.

"She's good, Alice. We're watching cartoons. She can stay."

"You sure?" she asked.

I nodded and looked over at Bella. She looked like she was ready to cry. "Positive."

Alice gave a short nod and walked out, closing the door behind her. Bella leaned over Crystal to kiss me, wiping a tear away from her eye. "I love you, Edward. Yer the best man I ever knew."

I held her face to mine and kissed her back, causing Crystal to giggle underneath us. "Y'all are kissy-kissy," she said, giggling some more.

I laughed and dropped a small kiss on her forehead. "You better be nice to boys, Crystal, and they'll give you kisses, too."

She wrinkled her nose. "Eww. Boys are icky."

Bella kissed me again. "Not all of 'em are, Crystal, baby. I got lucky, and if yer sweet, you will too."

We finally got up a little while later, mostly because Crystal was getting fidgety and squirmy, so we all got up and headed in to have some breakfast. I was starved after drinking my weight in liquor the night before. I needed sustenance.

"Well, 'bout time lazy bones Jones," Alice piped as she flipped some pancakes. "I made hot cakes, some grits, and sausage links for y'all. Go ahead and sit down. It's ready."

I made my way into he living room with Crystal latched onto my thigh while Bella stayed in the kitchen to help Alice with the food. The other two girls were lounged on the couch watching some sort of show, and barely looked up when we walked in. Sitting on the recliner, I pulled the latch and let it fall backwards so I could lean back. I smiled when Crystal climbed in my lap and curled up.

"It's 'kay if I sit on your lap, Uncle Edward?"

I nodded and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "I don't mind, little one."

Diamond raised her head then and looked over at us. I could've been wrong, but I thought I saw her smile a little before she turned her gaze back to the television. I tried to watch the show, but I couldn't follow what the hell was going on. I finally decided to bite the bullet and tried to strike up a conversation with them.

"What's this show called?"

Sapphire, or whatever God forsaken thing she was called, looked over at me, bored, and answered. "iCarley."

"Mmm," I hummed. "So, what's it about? What's going on?"

She sighed and sat up. "This chick lives with her brother and she has her own show, like, on the computer and stuff, and those two," she said, pointing at the screen, "Are her friends and they do the show too. It's funny."

"Okay. Cool."

They didn't say anything else, so I watched the stupid show while Crystal played with my hair and told me little stories about her dolls. She was way more interesting.

"What'cha do for a job?"

I looked up, surprised, and cleared my throat to answer Sapphire. "I go to school. I'm in college."

She looked interested. "How you get all this stuff if you ain't got no job?"

I smiled, realizing it probably seemed really strange to them that I didn't work. "My parent's help me out. I have some money in the bank while I go to school."

She nodded. "I was gonna say, cuz, my daddy don't have no job, and that's why we ain't got nothin'. My mama goes back to work pretty soon, and Nana Renee is gettin' her a job at the Eager Beaver."

"Ahh," I said, not really knowing what the hell to say to that. "Well, that's good, I guess."

She shrugged. "I'm gonna go to college, too, I think. I wanna be a dog doctor, cuz I take care of 'em all the time and stuff. They like me."

I smiled. "Sounds good. That's a good job. It's a lot of work going to school."

She nodded. "I'm pretty smart and I ain't gonna drop out or nothin'."

Diamond snorted. "School sucks."

"That's cuz yer ignorant and lazy."

I wanted to laugh at their little tirade. For the first time since they'd been in my house, they seemed normal.

"How old are you, Sapphire?"

She smiled and turned so she was facing me. "I'm six, and Diamond's eight. I'm in the middle."

I laughed. "Seems you are. And Crystal's the baby." I looked down at her and smiled, falling into her deep brown eyes.

"Boy, she likes you, Uncle Edward. You're nice to her. That's nice."

I looked up and cocked my head at Sapphire. "I'm nice to you guys, too. You just didn't give me a chance to be nice. You started out calling me names and trying to kick my ass."

She threw Diamond and look before looking back at me. "We're real sorry. We should've been nice. We thought you were gonna be a jerk."

Shaking my head, I adjusted Crystal on my lap and leaned forward. "I'm not a jerk, but I can be. Next one of you that kicks me is getting kicked back. Feel me? I'm not putting up with that shit. You're going to respect me in my house. I could throw you all out on your asses, but I'm not. Bella loves you guys, and I love her. I do what makes her happy, and it makes her happy that you're here. Don't make me piss her off because she's mean when she's pissed. You guys knock that shit out."

Their eyes got wide and they both nodded at me. I was glad they understood because I was really fucking done. I wanted to make Bella happy, but I would bounce those backwoods bitches all the way back to that shitbag town so fast it'd make their heads spin.

Without regret.

"Come and get it," Alice called from the kitchen. All three girls flew off the couch and darted out of the room without another word.

I got up and stretched and then rubbed my forehead. It'd been the longest twenty four hours of my life, and all I wanted to do was eat and go back to bed.

We all sat around the table and ate, and more than once, Diamond smiled shyly when she caught my eye. I had a feeling things were going to be a little more peaceful, and I figured out that being a parent was a lot harder than I ever thought it was going to be. I also learned that threats worked. I was keeping that shit on my list.

After breakfast, I took a shower and went into my room to lie down. The girls were all downstairs, and Bella said they'd all leave me alone to rest. So I did. When I woke up, I went down to get some water and found the three girls in the backyard, tossing an old basketball at the garage, attempting to make some baskets. I saw an opportunity, so I took it. I was going to give them some much needed attention, and affection.

"So, you girls ready to shoot some hoop?"

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><p><strong>Hugs and kisses to you all. <strong>

**Have a great week xo**

**twitter: prettykittyff**

**facebook: j'me pretty artistff**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**AN: thank you all for the sweet words last chapter. Sorry for the delay. Had a bit of writer's block and RL crap, PLUS, Bella has been awful distraught. The whole Hostess fiasco really put her in a funk. She just doesn't know what to do with herself and these pregnancy cravings with the lack of ding-dongs—at least, you know, the foil covered kind.**

**So… thanks for reading. Love y'all dearly.**

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><p>"You think we can get somethin' to eat on the way, sugar? My belly is just havin' a hell of a time dealin'."<p>

I looked over and frowned at the discomfort on her face. She rubbed at her tummy in light circles, and looked like she was ready to hurl. "Are you all right? You don't look so good."

She shook her head. "I don't feel good, baby. Pull over."

I did, thankfully we were pretty close to the next exit. I pulled into a gas station and jumped out to help her. "Are you going to throw up?

She shook her head. "No, I just feel… woozy or bumbly. I don't know. I feel real weird."

I didn't like the sound of that at all. "We're going to the hospital. I'm not taking any chances."

Plus… that'd get me out of a weekend at her mother's.

"Oh, now… don't go doing that! I just think it's the bumpity bump of the ride. Maybe we can take a break and grab some grub to snack on."

I sighed. "Fine. We'll take a break and eat, but if you still feel bad, we're going to the ER. If anything is wrong…"

She crooked her finger at me, so I kneeled down so we were at the same height. "You know how damn perfect you are? I just love you so much I could burst. Kiss me some…"

I kissed her, pecking her a few times on the lips before getting back in the truck. "What do you feel like eating?"

I'd gotten pretty good at asking before doing with the pregnancy. Her food mood changed so fast that there was no way I could ever keep up. Her other mood swings had improved, though. Mornings were rough, and after dinner she was sappy and tired. Right before bed she was snappy until she got comfortable. I learned fast—I had to in order to keep my balls.

"Maybe just some French fries would be good."

I went through a drive-thru and French fries turned into a double bacon cheeseburger, curly fries and a large half chocolate, half strawberry shake.

She was happy, and that was all that mattered. She ate voraciously as we drove and my stomach got tighter and tighter the closer we got.

By the time we got to La Push, Bella was asleep. She looked so adorable with her head thrown back and her mouth wide open. She was incredibly, imperfectly beautiful. A fucking mess to be honest, but it only made her more enticing.

She couldn't button her little jean shorts anymore, so she had the waistband flipped over and pulled under her belly. Her top had folded up and over her ever growing bulge and she just looked like a little butterball.

I shook my head and chuckled. She was comfortable with herself no matter what. I loved that about her. No matter what she wore, or where she was, she was just Bella. Funny and crazy and gorgeous.

Pushing her hair out of her face, I leaned in and kissed the flush of her cheek. "Pretty girl… wake up. We're here."

She groaned and then stretched like a grumpy cat. It pushed her tits up in her barely there top. They were freaking fantastic. I never would've thought they could have gotten any more glorious, but Jesus… I just wanted them in my mouth all the time. I craved her like air and I was constantly suffocating.

"We here?"

"Yeah. Come on. You should go lay down."

She groaned again. "My mama ain't gonna let me rest. She'll be too excited."

I grabbed her hand and brought it up to my lips, kissing it twice. "You let me deal with Nay-Nay. You need some rest."

The slap of the door stole my attention and I looked up to see Nay-Nay waving at us from the porch.

I laughed. "Your mom is a trip."

It was nearly four in the afternoon and the woman was still in her robe and curlers—all nine-thousand of them. It looked like she had tiny piglets nesting in her hair.

"There y'all are! I was fixin' to call ya."

I got out and walked over to help Bella out of the car. "We made a pit stop. Bella's not feeling well."

She came flying down the rickety steps , flailing her arms around like a chicken. "Well, 'course she ain't. My poor darlin' girl! All those babies in there just givin her hell!"

I helped Bella climb out and kissed her on the top of the head. "You okay to walk, or you want me to carry you, princess?"

She snorted. "Hardy har har, fancy pants. I don't need you throwin yer back out. I'm just fine. Ain't a cripple, just heavy."

Nay-Nay sniffed. "Ain't you just the perfect man. Yer gonna make her a fine husband—not that I wondered none. Boy, I knew you would."

She pushed by me and embraced Bella, kissing all over her face. "Let mama get a good look atcha, baby. I missed you somethin' terrible!"

"Missed you, too, mama. Can you believe how big I'm gettin'?"

She swirled her hand over her belly and smiled. "You sure are. Healthy as a horse."

She looked over at me and gave me that trademark Nay-Nay smile—the one that bordered on inappropriate. "Look at you, handsome. I'd say becoming a daddy is suitin' you just fine."

I smirked. It did.

Aside of being exhausted and worried about Bella all the time, I was really happy.

"And boy, you're just gonna look like a million bucks in a suit standing up there with my baby all in white and hitchin… I can't believe my baby will be a bride in two days!"

"I can't wait. And I really can't wait for the babies to get here," I told her, hugging my soon-to-be-wife tight.

Nay-Nay threw her head back and laughed. "Oh boy… you just wait. You say that now, but them babies are gonna wear you out. Don't you worry—Nana's gonna be there to help you."

We went inside and I bit back the urge to laugh. She'd already decorated the new trailer within an inch of tacky. It was fine, though. It was here and I was just glad we'd gotten her a place of her own so she wouldn't have to rely on stupid men anymore.

"You go put your feet up, baby girl. I got supper almost done and you can get some food in your belly."

Bella gave her the sweetest smile. It kind of made my heart hurt that she missed her mom so much. It didn't mean I was willing to move or anything, but I did feel bad.

She sat down on the couch and grabbed the remote for the TV. Sitting down next to her, I pulled her feet into my lap and took off her flip-flops. She moaned and smiled as I rubbed the ball of her foot. Rosalie told me that pregnant chicks liked their feet rubbed, so I did that for her every day. I loved it too, taking care of her.

She turned on some dumb kid's show she loved, but I didn't mind. I was happy to just sit there and touch her for a little while. That was until the heel of her foot brushed against my cock. Once, then twice and when I looked over at her, the look on her face told me she was ready to go.

"Baby," I warned. "Your mom's right there." I motioned toward the kitchen and she smirked.

"We got our own room… let's go."

I chuckled and moved her feet out of my lap. I didn't get up, though because I was already hard as fuck. She climbed up on her knees and pushed me back. "I'll just hump you right here on this couch, then. Damn, yer so pretty. I can't help myself."

I looked up at her and into her wide excited eyes and decided—fuck it. I sat up, wrapped my arms around her and carried her into the back room. I didn't bother saying anything to Nay-Nay. I knew she was smart enough to figure it out.

I laid her down on the gaudy bedspread and shut and locked the door. She giggled when I flopped down on the bed next to her.

"You have to be quiet, okay? I'll feel weird if your mom hears us."

She giggled again. "You're so cute, Fancy. You ain't gotta be shy. My mama knows we have intercourse—obviously," she said, motioning at her belly. "Duh."

Knowing and hearing were two very different things.

She started going bananas—climbing on top of me and grabbing at me, so I took both of her hands and pinned them to her sides.

"Calm the fuck down. Let me make love to you, pretty girl."

Her face softened and she got that sappy look on her face. "It just makes me melt inside when ya talk like that."

Her idea of pillow talk never ceased to amaze me. If I'd talked that way to some girls, they'd have climbed off and left. Not my Bella.

I kissed her hard and strong, loved her lips and rubbed myself against where she ached. "Why can't I ever get enough of you?"

She arched her back and I moved my lips to her breasts where the soft creamy skin just called for me.

"Hurry up, Fancy. I'm just squirmin' out of my skin."

I was a little disappointed, actually. I was really in the mood to just kiss each and every inch of her body. There was time, though. We were going to be alone for two whole weeks. No parent's, no friends, no school. Nothing. Just the two of us on our honeymoon, and I planned on taking advantage of every minute of it.

Was I a little disappointed that we weren't able to go on a luxurious trip somewhere tropical or romantic? Hell yes. But, under the circumstances, it was just out of the question. I didn't feel good about traveling with her in her condition. I did promise her that once the babies were born and were old enough to travel, that I was taking her somewhere special. Rose and Emmett agreed to go with us to take care of the kids, so we could enjoy our time together without the constant distraction of three little babies. I figured by the time they were old enough to travel, she'd be good and ready for a vacation.

I did what my girl wanted. I wasted no time taking her clothes off, removing mine next and entering her, falling into heaven once again. Her legs wrapped around my back and she rocked herself into me as I moved inside of her. I held myself up on my elbows and held her face in my hands. I had to look at her when we were together that way. She was just my angel, my everything. Just knowing she was about to be my wife, legally and forever was intense.

"You ready to marry me?" I asked her.

"Yes," she cried out. "I've been ready since the day you walked into my store."

Flashes of that night bounced around behind my eyes. The way her ass shook in that back room, the way her eyes looked so sad when she talked about not having a Valentine, and how much I wanted to kiss her before I started to walk away from her forever.

"Fuck, baby," I whimpered.

I sat up, pulling her into my lap and holding her against me. "I can't even think about what would have happened if my car hadn't been trashed. I would have never known this… all this love. All this happiness. I almost, almost missed it," I whispered.  
>I held her hips, setting the pace against my thrusts. I loved the way we moved in that position. So close that almost every single part of our bodies touched. Chest to chest, forehead to forehead, breath on breath.<p>

"I'll love you forever, Bella Swan."

Her body quaked as she came, clinging to my shoulders and crying out into the otherwise quiet room. "You were always my forever."

I finished shortly after and fell back against the mattress, exhausted. "Woman… you wear me out."

She giggled and pulled the sheet over herself. "Well, I gotta do somethin' to make sure you stay home where you belong. Can't go breakin' your knees can I?"

I growled and went to tickle her, but stopped when she yelped. "No! You can't be ticklin' on me! I piddle!"

I burst out laughing because the shit that came out of her mouth sometimes was just too much. "What the hell does that mean?"

She blushed a little, and then scowled. "I gotta pee all the time, and sometimes I'm just not no better than a little pup. Peein' when I don't even know I gotta go."

I gave her a little pout. "I wasn't trying to make fun of you… honestly, I don't think I've ever heard anyone say "piddle" before."

She kicked at the sheet with her feet and huffed. "I'm damn near starvin'. You think mama has that dinner all done yet?"

I smiled and kissed her on the nose. "I'll go find out. You want to eat in here?"

She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "Nah. I wanna talk to mama a little bit more. I have lots to do before your mama and daddy get in town tomorrow. Hey, you sure yer daddy knows how to hitch up that camper?"

I laughed. I could just imagine my dad toting that pink camper behind his Range Rover. I almost wished I could've been there to watch him try to figure it out.

"I think he'll figure it out. What I'm worried about is my mom… she's gonna end up with hives after sleeping in a camper over night."

She giggled. "She's little miss high and mighty ain't she. Boy… we'll break her into country in no time. Now, go keep my mama company while I get some clothes on so she ain't blowin' a gasket."

I did as she asked and went into he kitchen to check on Nay-Nay. She was sitting at the table, smiling and blowing into a cup of coffee. "Well, sounds like you two are having a good time in there."

She winked and I groaned. "I… yeah, um… sorry about that. Sometimes we just get carried away."

She waved her free hand at me and shook her head. "Young love is a good thing, sweetie. Ain't nothin' wrong with a little passion in a relationship. Y'all are gonna be just fine so long as you love each other like that forever."

I smiled and let out a deep breath. "The pregnancy…" I said awkwardly.

She laughed. "I was the same way, 'cept I didn't have a handsome man like my Bella. Her daddy left until after she was born, and then he left again. I never did know an evil man from a saint. He was darn good-lookin', though. Lended me them good genes to make such a pretty baby girl."

I looked toward the bedroom and smiled. "She sure is."

She looked lost in thought, and then sighed. "You just love them all. You love them and take care of them, that's all I ask. Bella… that girl was meant to make somethin' of herself. Let her be somethin' Edward Cullen."

I looked her straight in the eyes. "When I make those promises in a couple days, I will mean every one of them. I'll give her the world."

Nay-Nay smiled. "You already have, son. Now… let's talk about that bachelor party of yours."

My eyes bugged out and I stared at her. "My bachelor party… I don't… I mean, under the circumstances… I mean, we might just go have drinks at a bar, or I don't know… we hadn't really talked about it."

I hadn't thought about a bachelor party. Most of the people I'd invited were only coming to La Push the day of the wedding, so having a party was kind of a dumb idea.

"Oh, honey… you kill me. You'll have a bachelor party. Your new mama has taken care of everything. You just sit on down and I'll get y'all some dinner."

I had a very bad feeling about Nay-Nay taking care of anything. Especially anything that included alcohol.

Things were just about to get interesting with our wedding. I could just feel it.

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><p><strong>*Just a quick sappy note from Kitty* <strong>

**Love each other. Treasure and cherish the friends and family you have. Never take anything for granted. Life's too short. Love all the time. Always. **

**((HUGS))**

**I love you all and thank you so much for another year of fun, friendship and support. You readers bring more sunshine into my life than you could possibly know. I adore you all. You're all nice and nestled next to my heart. **

**Happy Holidays and may your New Year be peaceful and full of happiness.**

**Thanks for reading! Stop by my FB group if you'd like teasers!**

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**See y'all soon! We have a wedding coming up!**

**Loves and kisses, **

**peace...**

**J'me**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight. Also, this is a big ol' mess. No beta. All mistakes are mine.**

**AN: Sorry it's been a while since I updated! It won't take as long for the next one—it's already written down. I just need to type it up.**

**Here goes the bachelor party hijinx…**

**KITTYV… I hope this cheers you up. Me knows you've had to wait a while for your Fancy… love ya XO**

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><p>I was restless without Bella. I hated sleeping without her, and I found all the traditional bullshit with the wedding that everyone was forcing on us to be annoying.<p>

I'd gotten kicked out of the house and made to stay in the trailer with my dad. I was not happy about it at all.

"I'm not sleeping in here tonight. I don't give a shit. I'm sneaking in to be with her when we get home."

My dad snorted. "I don't blame you one bit. If given the choice, I'd do the same thing."

I raised an eyebrow. "You know what I mean," he said, waving me off.

Trying to get dressed in there was a chore and I was unhappy about the whole bachelor party as it was. I had no idea what Renee and the other hillbillies had planned for us and couldn't say I was excited at all.

"We better get a move on. We're supposed to be there already," he said. "Your brother and the others are already there."

A few of my friends had agreed to make the trek down, including Ben and Liam, who we'd been spending a lot of time with.

Bella had become really close to Charlotte and I was glad she finally had some friends in Port Angeles to hang out with. She still had Rose, but between school and her social engagements, Rose wasn't around much. She had been a big help with the wedding preparations, though, and Bella was grateful to have her as a cushion between her and my mother.

We had a total of one hundred and fifty guests arriving the next morning and honestly, I was surprised. I think my parent's friends were making the drive more out of morbid curiosity than anything else. It was unheard of in their circle to hold a wedding anywhere other than the Country Club or one of the fancy hotels. I personally didn't care. Bella Loved La Push, and her family and friends and traditions were important to her. I just wanted her to have the wedding of her dreams.

As long as we walked down the aisle at the end of the day, legally bound to each other with my ring on her finger and my last night attached to hers, I was all good. All the rest was frosting as far as I was concerned.

Before walking out the door, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone and dialed Bella. I had to at least hear her voice.

"Fancy, don't you try and get outta this party. Everyone's looking forward to it!"

I chuckled. "I'm going, okay? I just wanted to tell you I love you before I go."

"Ahhh," she cooed. "My sweet man. I love you more, sugar. Now, run on and have fun and y'all better be good."

I smiled. "You know I will. You have fun, too."

She giggled. "Boy, we already are! Yer mama is a half glass to schnockered. Funniest thing I ever seen. Already pissed in my pants laughin' at her."

I groaned. My poor mom was in for a long night with those girls. "Bella… don't mess with my mom," I laughed.

She clucked her tongue through the phone. "Don't be silly. "I'll take care of mama Cullen. It's Rosalie's fault, anyway. She's fixin' up drinks 'round here."

"Well… I guess I'll see you tomorrow." I gulped and then took a deep breath.

"Yes, you will. Yer gonna be my husband, and I can't wait. Bye-bye, baby!"

The line went dead and I shoved the phone in my pocket. I looked up to find my dad staring and scowled.

"She's fine, son. Don't feel guilty. This is a rite of passage, and she just wants you to have fun."

I smiled and nodded. "You're right. It's one night—I guess I can deal with it."

We drove to the Bottoms Up Tavern and I cringed. I should've known it would be a tittie bar, I mean, what else.

"Well, by the looks of it, I think we're in for an exciting night," my dad said, grinning.

"Great."

The parking lot was full and when I scoped it out, it was full of people I knew. Inside, it was everything you'd expect from a seedy topless bar in a small town. Drunks and skanky girls, smoke hovering over the room and dim lights… everything to be expected from a shitty dump in the middle of hell. It was God awful and I just wanted to leave.

"Edward!" my brother bellowed from across the room. "About time, man! Let's get this show on the road."

He approached and gave me a one-armed hug, smacking me on the back. "This place is fucking awesome! These bitches do tricks!"

I cringed. I'd been to several gentleman's clubs over the years with my friends with my brother's ID, and they'd all been fun, but I could tell they were nothing compared to this place.

"Come on, we have front row."

That only made me more nervous.

The dancers mostly looked like upchucked rejects from a bad Motley Crue video from the eighties, while the others resembled fucking Garbage Pail Kids. And not the cool ones.

I was afraid to touch anything and was damn close to gnawing my lip off. "I can't believe my future mother-in-law works here," I grumbled as I sad, brushing the seat off before I did so.

Emmett and my dad sandwiched me in and the stupid smiles on their faces pissed me off. "This is friggin awful. I have no idea why you're so happy right now. I could be fucking my gorgeous wife-to-be right now, and instead I'm probably contracting Hepatitis from this fucking plastic chair!"

My dad's eyes were glued to a short red-head with thunder thighs and dinky tits. Her smile was all for him, too, so I figured, more power to him. He was fucking weird. I couldn't stand looking at her at all, so I moved my gaze across the stage where another thick chick was flopping around like a Ziploc bag full of mashed potatoes.

"Jesus fucking Christ. I'm outta here."

Emmett grabbed my knee and squeezed. "Don't trip. These are just the warm-up girls. The main attraction starts pretty soon. You just need a drink."

He stood and snapped his fingers at the waitress across the room and I groaned. He was such an ass.

A spunky young girl with a sleek black hairdo bounced over, arching her back as she rested her tray on her hip.

"What'll y'all have? You the groom, handsome?"

I nodded and diverted my eyes. Her tits were actually stare-worthy, but I felt guilty so I looked away.

"Dayum. Bells did hook a looker! I thought Nay-Nay was exaggerating, but you sure are fine!"

She let her eyes wander my body, and then met my eyes again. "I got just the thing for you, shy one. I'll be right back."

My brother caught her arm. "Wait up, honey. We didn't order and we didn't' get your name."

She giggled. "Y'all are getting the same thing, and you can call me Gyna."

I snorted. Emmett choked. "You mean, _Gina_?"

She shook her head. "No, Gyna. It sounds more exotic."

Sounded like pussy to me, but I wasn't going to argue.

My brother couldn't stop laughing and eventually the three of us were bowled over in tears, laughing.

Ben and Liam came over to sit with us, along with James. He'd been a good friend of mine since we were kids, friend of the family and all that shit.

"So, congrats," he said. "Never thought I'd see the day you settled down."

"You haven't seen his fiancé," Emmett said. I beamed with pride. "She's pretty fucking fantastic."

James laughed. "I hear she's… unique. Judging from where she's from, I'd bet that's the truth."

My eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged. "The … _ladies_," he said, using quotation marks with his fingers, "seem pretty well-fed and forward if you ask me."

I let out a dark laugh. "I don't know what you think you know about my Bella, but I guarantee you'll eat your heart out when you see her tomorrow, fucker. But, you're right—she's unique all right. There's nothing more beautiful than her."

He held his hands up defensively. "I'm sure she is, and lucky for you, right? It'd be a shame getting an ugly girl knocked up and saddled to."

"I'm warning you," I threatened. "I don't know where you're getting your bullshit information from, but we were engaged before she got pregnant—not that it matters. I was ready to marry her ten minutes after we met!"

He shook his head. "Yeah, well, I heard you were dating Kate and cheated on her when you got stranded out here and the chick showed up pregnant and you got stuck."

I laughed. "I was trying to fuck Kate, ended up in La Push and found Bella. After that, I didn't even want to know Kate, much less date her."

He hummed. "Well, I guess I was misinformed. I'm especially happy for you, finding true love. That's… well, unique."

I gave him a tight smile. The conversation just reminded me of how different I'd become and unfortunately, of what a prick I'd been before. Judgmental, selfish, arrogant."

The little waitress returned and placed a tray of shot glasses and beers on the table. "These are the special shots for you. We call them "Fancy Britches."

I smirked. "Did Bella put you up to this?"

She shook her head. "Nope. These were created by Nay-Nay. They're from a special batch of whiskey we save for special visitors like you."

I wasn't convinced. "So, what's in it?"

I had reason to be cagey about drinks in La Push. "You're just going to have to try them," Emmett said. "Drink up."

I picked one up and held it up to my nose. Whatever it was, it smelled sweet and harmless enough, so I gave a shrug, nodded to my dad and Em, and held up my glass up.

"To the lucky bastard! All the best to my brother and his gorgeous bride," Emmett shouted. "Cheers!"

We threw them back and I choked as it burned down my throat. It was like sweet hot cinnamon fire. "Holy shit!" I croaked. "That shit's strong!"

It was good, though. I had to admit. "Keep those coming, sweetheart," Emmett said.

"You bet I will." She winked and walked away, swinging her tiny ass as she did.

The lights started to dim, so we turned our attention to the stage. To my relief, the trolls had disappeared and the stage was empty.

"If I have to be here, there better be something to look at—not that any of them compare to what I have at home."

"You ain't lyin' my man," Ben said. "Your wife puts them all to shame. Not just here either."

I took a gulp of beer and then pointed my bottle at him, raising an eyebrow. "You just earned ten points, brother. Truer words have never been spoken."

A loud noise behind us caught my attention. I turned around and came face to face with Jake.

He looked pissed.

"I gotta bone to throw at you, Richie Rich."

"You mean a bone to _pick_?" Emmett said, mouthing off.

"Pick it, throw it, break it. Don't matter. You been talking to my woman, and you got her to leave me. You owe me."

I barked out a laugh. "Go fuck yourself, dirty mutt! I should castrate you for treating Alice and those girls like you do. Don't get me started on the other chicks!"

"I don't know what jacking me off gots to do with this, but I ain't your business."

"Jacking you… what?"

He waved his hand around in the air. "Casterbation. Don't know what you touchin' my peter's gonna do… but don't matter. You owe me and I'm comin' to collect."

I could only shake my head. He was a fucking idiot. "Why are you here? You weren't invited."

He laughed; those big bright teeth of his glowing in the dark room. "This here's my town, and my girl is working tonight. I'm here to make a deal with you and collect what's comin' to me, and to make sure none of y'all money bags bitches get any ideas."

"You better not start any shit, man. It's my wedding day tomorrow and you or nobody else is gonna ruin it."

He grinned wider. "That's why I'm here. I was gonna stop off to see the bride first, but I wanted to make sure you know how this is going down first. I get to get my chance to dip my willy in her pot before you go and own her up."

My fist connected with his jaw before he even finished talking. "You go near my Bella and I'll end you, motherfucker!"

He rubbed his jaw and grinned and it just pissed me off even more. My hand burned like hell and I was pretty sure it was broken from hitting his unnaturally strong jaw.

"Scared of a little competition, Richie Rich? You know Bella was always supposed to be mine anyway. I'd almost had her broken down, too—until you came along waving all those dollas around. Can't blame me for wanting a piece of that!"

I shook my hand and took a step forward. "What part of her carrying my children and marrying me do you not understand?"

He snorted and elbowed the asshole standing next to him. "Forgot about them kids she's got cookin… girls, too. Guess I'll just wait and grab a piece of those."

I fucking lost it. "I'll kill you!"

Talking about my Bella flipped one kind of switch in my brain, but my babies… it was a whole new level of crazy rage for me.

I attached and everything went black.

Once I came to, Jake was long gone and my brother was pouring more moonshine down my throat. "Dude, I thought you were going to kill him! I had to knock you out!"

I shook my head. "What the hell? You did this?" I felt behind my head and the bump that was throbbing. Killing him is nothing."

He laughed. "You say that now, but you'd be sorry if you were behind bars out here in the sticks."

I groaned as I tried to sit up, and my head spun. "At least he's gone. Let's do this so I can get out of here."

He handed me another shot glass and smiled. "That's what I'm talking about."

A blonde with a good-sized ass and decent tits took the stage in a yellow g-string and the lights went black.

"Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about," Emmett said, nodding. "Finally… some real action. All that fighting worked up an appetite for some pussay…"

I rolled my eyes. "Did I kick his ass at least?"

My dad patted my shoulder. "He was carried out, so I'd say you did some damage, son. Bella will be proud."

I smiled and threw the shot back. I was feeling a little groggy after fighting and getting hit by my brother, but that whisky was pretty fucking good. I figured it wasn't that bad of an idea to just stay drunk.

The girl on stage, Lexus, was shaking her shit, and I just sat back and watched with a big smile on my face. I wasn't interested in touching, but looking was okay. I was drunk and having fun with my friends. I was about to marry the girl of my dreams, and happily ever after was just around the corner. As cheesy as it sounded, and as un-manly it was to say, I was getting my prayers answered and I decided it was okay to celebrate.

My brother was enthralled with the girl on the stage. When two others came over to offer lap dances, he took them up on it, and to my surprise, so did Ben.

I drank, watched the girls, laughed at my friends and family, and against my will, I had a really good time. I was, however, very drunk and ready for it all to be over.

And then Nay-Nay hit the stage.

I choked on my beer and my eyes went wide.

"Ladies and gentlemen… I have something real special for my son-in-law!"

What was she saying? No fucking idea. All my brain could process was boobs, boobs, boobs. I was conflicted, and in a major way. I mean, the woman was my mother-in-law to be… she was the mother of my baby mama. Old enough to be my mom, or whatever. Fact was, she _was_ Bella's mama and I was gawking at her tits. And I couldn't stop.

"Good God, I've died and gone to heaven."

My dad. His eyes were like flying saucers, shiny and wide and full of ideas he had no business having. "Dad… that's Bella's mother!"

"Oh, I know son. I know. Damn… that's some good stock in that family. Good luck with your daughters."

He chuckled and I wanted to strangle him. "Dad… Jesus!"

Then, two big burly guys pushed a giant cake out onto the stage. I looked over at Nay-Nay and she was curling her finger, calling me up. "Come on, Sugar. Come to mama."

I shook my head fiercely. Fuck and No. Fuck no. No.

"Ah, girls… my baby has a real stand up guy… he's afraid to come up here, so we'll need your assistance."

A gaggle of girls came from all ends of the bar and started dragging me up on the stage. I was dizzy, drunk off my ass, and really I had no way of fighting them off. Before I knew it, I was sitting next to the big pink and yellow cake with Nay-Nay's tits in my face.

"We have a special guest for him tonight! Let's give a big round of applause for Big Betty!"

All of a sudden, the cake exploded and the biggest, blondest stripper I'd ever seen jumped out and attacked me. My chair flew backward, and for the second time that night, shit went black.

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><p><strong>Oh snap! Big Betty knocked him out w her knockers! **

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**LOVE YAZ**


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT. KITTY OWNS FANCY.**

**ON WITH THE SHOW…**

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><p>I shook Bella once gently, but she just wouldn't budge. I figured the ruckus I'd made climbing through the window would've done the deal, but she was dead to the world.<p>

"Bella, baby... Daddy's home."

She sighed softly, and rolled over to face me. "Fancy? What're you doin'? You ain't supposed to be here!"

She was so soft and warm, all womanly and smooth. "Mmm, girrrl. You smell good. You feel good too," I said, slurring and rubbing my face in her hair.

"Fancy, yer about a pain in the ass. You come in here drunk as a skunk and wanna rub up on me like a horny dog! You better knock it off."

I rubbed my hands over her belly where my baby lived. "My baby baby. Come on, baby... let's make some more babies."

A sharp smack to my head jolted me almost off the bed. "Ouch! Don't hurt me, my Bella. I love you."

She rubbed her thumbs over my cheeks and when I opened my eyes, I could see that she wasn't mad.

"Just get some sleep, you crazy man. I'm tuckered and we got a wedding tomorrow. You better be ready for that, cuz I ain't standing for you not being there to meet me at that alter."

Married. We were getting married.

"I got lost. In my car. 'Member? You were dancin' and soo hot in your little top with the hearts. You didn't like me, my Bella. You told me you didn't."

She giggled. "I did no such thing. You were so pretty standing there and I was a little bit mad that I was all by myself on Valentines. I liked you, sure enough."

"I'm glad I got lost, Bella."

"Me, too. Now, go to sleep. I need my beauty rest. I'm gonna be a bride tomorrow!"

* QMC *

"Get up, Bro. We let you sleep in as long as we could. Bella made us."

I groaned. The room was too bright and he was definitely too loud. "Go away."

I heard him chuckle before the bed started shaking. "Come on, Fancy pants," he said, snorting. "God, I love that she calls you that. It's hilarious."

I pulled the pillow out from underneath my head and chucked it at him. "Come on, seriously. You're getting married in an hour. You need to get a shower. You smell like crap."

Lifting my arm, I gave my pit a sniff and cringed. "What the hell happened last night? Why am I here?"

He sat on the edge of the bed and chuckled. "What didn't happen last night, man. That shit was wild. This town... wow. It was pretty wild."

I opened one eye and looked at him. "What'd I do? If I did anything stupid, Bella will kill me."

He grabbed the back of his neck and shook his head. "Um... where do I start? Bella's mom... well, she's pretty crazy. And hot. Did I mention hot?"

I groaned, pressing my face into the pillow. "Please tell me I didn't make out with my future mother-in-law."

Seeing that I had no recollection of the night... it wouldn't have surprised me. It sickened me, but surprised…in La Push anything was possible.

Like me getting married there. Impossible, and yet, there I was.

"Uh, no. But Dad did."

I shot up in bed and turned over. "Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously, what the hell are you talking about?"

He chortled and stood. "He got like... ten lap dances from her, dude. He was licking whipped cream off her tits!"

I smiled, but quickly wiped that thing off my face. I mean, I was sort of proud of the old man-Nay-Nay was hot-but dude... she was going to be the grandmother of my children... and his grandchildren... and it was... well, Jerry Springer wouldn't even invite us on his show with that kind of crap.

"Tell me one thing-did I do anything I'll regret, or get killed for?"

He smiled. "Nope. You were actually out of it most of the time. You blacked out, and then when you woke up you were ready to kill all those guys with the mullets and knee socks. By the way, what's up with that? They dress fucking weird!"

I chuckled. "Jake... I remember that asshole... did he come back?"

He nodded slowly. "Yeah. You made up with him. You two were buddies by the end of the night. He apologized, admitted he was jealous and stuff, but said he was glad someone good was taking care of Bella. I think he meant it, dude."

I scoffed. "Jerk off."

He shrugged and walked toward the door. "Whatever, man. He's crazy. What can you do? It was like Bella's whole fan club showed up last night... like a fucking funeral. They're all bummed out she's getting married and off the market."

I smiled. "I'm glad I got her out of here. This place is just..."

"I know. I know. But, hey. Dad got some action last night, so it wasn't for nothing. You should have seen the old bastard. Happiest I've seen him in my life."

I groaned again. "Did it have to be with Nay-Nay, though? Jesus Christ."

"Don't trip. Just get ready. The girls have Bella in the back bedroom until you leave. Rose dragged her out of here by her hair this morning. She was ticked."

Stupid, I thought. We were practically married anyway. So a preacher had to say a couple words, big deal. Did they think I'd get her pregnant again? It was dumb. I was glad I fell asleep with her.

He left and I tried to wake up a little. I was still pretty groggy and tired, but knowing that I'd be a married man later in the day gave me a burst of energy inside.

I went into the other room and the looks the women gave me could've knocked me dead. I just smiled, made my way into the kitchen to get some coffee and then went out to the trailer without a word. I was glad I got my way, and there wasn't anything they could've done to change it.

"Dad!" I shouted, nudging him with my boot. "Get up, old fart! It's my wedding day."

He groaned and rolled over. It smelled like a rotten brewery, sour and sweet and day fucking old. I lifted the blanket off of him and cringed when I found him butt naked.

"Jesus, Dad! Could've warned me!"

That was something I'd never be able to erase from my head.

"Seriously, old man. Get going. We haven't got time for you to sober up. Bella will have my balls if I'm one second late."

He reached down and scratched himself and I felt the bile rise into my throat. Fucking gross.

I walked out of the room to give us both a little space. I decided a shower was a good place to start. I felt sticky and smelly after a night filled with... I couldn't even remember. I stripped down and cursed the stinking tiny bathroom about a million times. I figured that the confined spaces Bella grew up in had to contribute to her feisty personality. Being cooped up all the time had to give you a certain disposition. I only had to deal with it a little bit and I was ready to go out of my mind, or shoot someone.

Once the shitty showerhead started spurting out lukewarm water, I soaped up quickly before it ran out and rained down ice cold water on my ass. It wasn't the greatest trailer, but it did the job.

I got out and wiped down the steamy little mirror so I could shave and wrapped the towel around my waist. Once my reflection came into view, I couldn't help but smile. I was a good-looking sonofabitch, and I was about to marry the hottest girl I'd ever laid eyes on. It was pretty poetic, in a fucked up fairy tale kind of way, but that was my life.

I went back into the small room and grabbed my hygiene shit out of my suitcase and went back to work on getting shaved and cleaned up. I got it nice and close, just like Bella liked it, brushed my hair, and threw on some cologne. Again, the kind Bella liked.

I knew she was going to be a knock out so I wanted to give her something to look at, too. Honestly, I knew for a fact that she was going to blow me away. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to keep my hands off her.

I finished getting read, aside of putting on my tux, and found my dad sitting at the small table up front, drinking coffee and looking every bit as fucked up as he was the night before.

Sitting down in front of him, I poured myself a cup from the carafe on the table and smirked. "How you feeling this morning, Dad?"

He looked up at me and groaned. "I haven't been that inebriated since my freshman year of college. I don't know what they put in the drinks last night, but I'm sure I was ruffied."

I snorted. "You drank moonshine, Dad. Same thing happened to me the first time I drank it... come to think about it, same shit last night. I can't believe I blacked out."

He nodded, chuckling softly. "You were awfully worked up after that Jake fellow got you so upset. I was very proud the way you stuck up for her. In fact, I'm incredibly proud of the way you care for you. The two of you will be very happy, Edward."

I smiled, rubbing my finger around the rim of the coffee cup. "I have no doubt. She's my soul-mate-as cheesy as that sounds, it's so true. No one has ever gotten me the way she does. Something brought me to this God-forsaken place, and I thank my lucky stars every day."

He looked up at me then, and the longing look in his eyes caught me off guard. "You are lucky. That doesn't happen for everyone."

I looked away, uncomfortable. "Thanks."

"So... is it going to be weird being around Nay-Nay today? You two were pretty chummy I hear."

He coughed. "Well, I was pretty drunk, Edward. I'm embarrassed to say that I wasn't behaving like a father should at his son's bachelor party."

I shrugged. Sure, I was pretty disgusted that my dad and my mother-in-law were doing dirty things, but I also knew my parents weren't happy. Shit... it'd probably been years since my dad had gotten any. My mom wasn't the warmest woman on the planet, and they were never affectionate in the way people in love were. If he got a piece, good for him. It was just my luck that it was my freaking mother-in-law and not one of the hundreds of slutty chicks in the place.

"It's cool, Dad. I just don't want any weirdness today. This is all about Bella and I don't want her mother's antics stealing her thunder. You know what I mean?"

He nodded, and I could tell he felt bad. I didn't want that. "Look, Dad. If it makes you feel better, I had to do Jedi mind tricks to control my boner the first time I saw Nay-Nay. I'm not stupid, I know she's hot. It's just that you guys are going to be grandparents any day and you need to just let that shit go."

He smiled. "Don't worry, son. This day will go smoothly. Nothing will stand in your way."

I took a big gulp of coffee and set the mug down. "Now, go get in the shower because you smell like wet ass."

I spent the next hour watching golf on the shitty television and listening to my dad puke on and off. I felt bad for the guy, but not bad enough to do anything about it.

Finally, Dad was feeling better and it was time to get down to the beach where we were getting married. I'd only been down there once, and I had to admit it wasn't all that impressive. It was an important place to Bella, though, so again... whatever she wanted.

"So, are you ready for this, Son? No turning back now."

I adjusted my tie and turned to my father. "I have no hesitation whatsoever. She's my soul mate. I already told you. The love of my life. This is the happiest day of my life."

He smiled widely. "Just never thought I'd see the day when my selfish, self-centered son would end up married and about to become a father. I know I keep saying it, but I am proud of you, Edward."

I swallowed and looked down. "Dad, if you say it one more time, I'll have to confiscate your balls. Now, are you coming?"

It only took us about twenty minutes to get to the beach. There was a small nook where we were holding the wedding, and it was easy enough to spot. There were chairs lined up in front of a tall structure covered with pink flowers, and a path had been marked with the petals of roses leading toward the crowd.

I was shocked at first, honestly, that it wasn't set up like a tacky thrift store ho-down. I guess I had my mother and Rosalie to thank for that, but it did look pretty impressive. Simple and soft, and I hoped to hell Bella loved it.

Rosalie found me and waved me over toward the altar, where my brother was already standing waiting for me. I started getting a little choked up. It was surreal that in less than an hour, I would be officially married.

What a fucking trip.

"I just left Bella. Oh, Edward… she looks amazing. I can't wait to see the look on your face when you see her!" Rosalie gushed. "The wedding dress is just… wow. So not what I expected it to turn out like, but it's so much better!"

She had me curious.

"Okay, go stand next to Emmett and wait. They'll start the music in just a few, and then Bella will be here."

My palms were sweaty and my throat was dry. I was more than ready to get the show on the road.

And then the theme song to the movie Titanic began to play. Badly.

There sat the craziest old lady I'd ever seen—and that wasn't even adding the hideous dress she was wearing to the mix—playing that damn song on a plastic recorder—like those ones they gave you in Elementary school to learn to play. My ears were ringing, and my brother's laughter was just a tone louder than the ruckus coming from her.

I used my finger and slit it across my throat, begging it to stop. I turned, looking for Rosalie so I could get some back up on things, and what I encountered about killed me.

There were four of them, shirtless and in cut-off jean shorts, holding up a hot pink blow up mattress with my beautiful Bella on top of it.

I blinked a couple times to make it go away, but it was there. For the world to see. So much for the untacky wedding. It was about to get real.

Jake was at the helm, smirking as he made his way toward me. I didn't remember our little peace treaty the night before, and no matter what my brother had to say about it, that dude was my enemy and I hated his guts.

They lowered the floppy thing down in front of me, and my tongue swelled when I took in my bride in her beautiful white dress.

To my surprise, it wasn't skin tight, and it wasn't short enough to show her ass. It was surprisingly modest, and I wondered what my mom used to talk her into wearing it. It was so unlike Bella, but it suited her. She was unbelievably gorgeous.

She smiled, and my heart just melted and ran down my torso. I was so fucking gone for that girl. Fucking history. Balls in a jar, sure thing. She owned me.

I held my hand out for her to take and as soon as I bent and touched her fingers with mine, a scraggly old man began screaming from the tip of the forest.

"Wait! I'm object!"

Bella craned her neck around and then turned to me and growled.

"I'm gonna kill that old sonofabitch!"

Her face was pretty much as red as a beet, and whoever that guy was I felt sorry for him. The vein… the one in her neck that popped out when she was really pissed off was throbbing and I covered my junk just in case.

"Bella Marie! Don't you dare marry that scallywag! Daddy's here!"

My eyes bugged out of my head. "Dad?"

"Chuck Swan, you take one more step and I'll blow that good for nothin' pecker right off ya."

Renee lifted and cocked a rather large shotgun and pointed directly at the intruder. I had no idea where she'd gotten the thing, or why in the hell there was a damn shotgun at my damn wedding, but she was ready to use it and things were about to get crazy.

And the Trailer park cheered.

Fuck.

"That boy there knocked up my little girl and he owes me! You don't damage a man's property without payin' up. I'm here to collect, and if he ain't got the means, well, he can't have my girl."

"I mean it, Chuck. I'll kill you once and for all. I may have missed before, but I've been practicing. I'll getcha this time, ya old bastard!"

I heard grunting and looked down to find Bella struggling to get to her feet.

"Oh shit, baby! Hang on. I'll help you."

She took my hand and groaned again as I pulled her to her feet. She had once arm cradling her tummy and the other wrapped around me.

"Let me at him, Fancy. That old coot ain't gonna spoil my wedding. No good, good for nothin' low-life redneck!"

She took off hobbling toward him, and I felt bad for the guy. That dress she had on was a little loose, so God only knew what she had stashed up there to use as a weapon. If the man were smart, he would've ran like crazy.

Apparently, the crazy ran deep in the Swan family because he stood straight as a rod, and welcomed Bella's approach.

"Well now, honey, don't you look pretty."

She smacked him with all she had as soon as she was close enough and then he grabbed her arm and I lost my shit.

"Get your hands off her!" I yelled, sprinting toward them. "Don't you touch her, fucker."

He chuckled and patted her head. "This is my baby girl, boy. You don't want no trouble from me, I'll tell you that."

I pulled her away from him, and shoved his fat ass away. "Leave. You weren't invited and no one wants you here. I won't allow you to ruin this day for her. Now, get out."

Oh, the whispers. This was juicy shit, especially for the country clubbers my parents invited. This wedding would be the fodder for gossip for years to come. I didn't' give a damn. The man was obviously drunk as fuck and unstable. With Nay-Nay wielding a gun, shit was going to get messy and quick if I didn't get rid of him pretty quickly.

"Listen here, fella. You fornicated with my daughter, and she's with youngin's now, that makes you a thief! You stole what was mine, and now I want payback.

I reached into my pocket and retrieved my wallet.

"What, you want money? Here—there's five-hundred bucks there. Take it and leave."

He wet his finger with his tongue and thumbed through the bills, humming and shoving them in my pocket.

"Well, good job there, girly. Got yourself a moneybags. You keep this one happy, and you make sure to take care of yer dear ol' Daddy."

She huffed from behind me and got in his face again.

"You weren't nothin' but a mean ol' jackass my whole life. Treated my mama bad, stole every damn nickel she got, and you weren't there for me for a dang second of my life. Yer a loser and I ain't got no use for you. I got me a real man, Chuck, and you ain't got nothin' to do with my life. Now, shoo. Get on out of here and don't make your face known in La Push again."

He chuckled and sneered at Bella. "Little girl, I think you better apologize for that smart lip of yers."

Nay-Nay came up behind him and that barrel was pushed right into his skull. "Chuck, you move your ass."

He gulped, realizing he was outnumbered. He was drunk, but not that stupid apparently.

Or, maybe he was.

He turned around to face Nay-Nay.

"Sugar lips… I came back fer ya. I miss ya, and them tits… damn, yer a fine woman."

Bella gasped and what happened next was just… un-fucking-believable.

Nay-Nay dropped that gun and grabbed him, planting a big wet kiss on his lips.

"Oh, well poodles on parade! This is about as batty as it gets," Bella groaned.

And then she _really_ groaned.

"Hell fire! That hurt like a mother…"

I turned around and my breathe caught in my lungs. She was sheet white and looked like she was going to pass out.

"Baby, what is it? What's wrong."

She bent at the waist and grabbed her stomach with both hands. I kneeled in front of her, placing the palm of my hand against her stomach to see if I could feel what she was feeling.

And then it happened.

My shoes… my pants… covered. Wet. Splashed.

Her water fucking broke.

"Holy…"

"Edward!" she shrieked. "What the hell is going on down there?"

I looked up at her, scared out of my pants and more than a little grossed out.

"Um, sweetheart… I think you're having the babies."

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><p><strong>thank you for reading... i promise i won't leave you hanging this long again! swears. XO<strong>


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

All other content is my own.

AN:

Yes, it's been a hundred years. Yes I feel awful. I'd like to thank those of you that reached out and wondered about this stupid crazy little story for the motivation to do something about it. I hope you'll enjoy!

* * *

><p>The hospital was a nightmare. Basically, it was a shed and definitely not where I expected my daughters to be born. I was too distracted by Bella screaming to really take in the place, but it gave me a really bad feeling.<p>

My girl was screaming bloody murder, and it was killing me. She was in pain, and lots of it.

Our families were yelling at each other and running around like crazy people. They _were_ crazy people. No one knew what the hell to do, and that made things even worse.

Alice was doing a pretty good job keeping Bella calm, making her breathe and telling her to relax. She also kept telling me to do my job, but that was the thing—I didn't know what my damn job was. It was a circus and no one was making any sense. Hadn't I done my job? I knocked her up, didn't I?

I was having some serious guilt, knowing it was all my fault she was in so much pain and I was pretty sure that as soon as she popped those kids out, she was going to rip my balls off with a wrench.

I'd let her. Once everything was done and over with, I'd let her rip me to shreds. She was miserable.

Once they finally got her on a bed, some battered up old lady strapped her down like she was some serial killer. Arms, legs, all strapped down tight. She fought it tooth and nail, though. She was a fighter.

"We ain't married God damn it! Somebody get the fucking preacher in here to make me a Cullen before I end up birthin' bastards!" Bella screamed.

She bucked and thrashed around and I'd had enough.

"Can you guys take those damn things off her? Release my wife!"

I was hysterical, and deep down I knew I had to calm down and keep my shit together, but this was by far the most fucked up situation I'd ever been through.

My wedding was supposed to be the best day of my life. Now it was coinciding with what was supposed to be the second best day of my life, and both were fucked. I promised things to Bella, and having her water break at the altar, her father show up with guns blazing, and ending up in a dirty hospital with chipped paint and psychopaths was not what I promised.

"Mr. Cullen, she needs to calm down. The Midwife will be here shortly. We're just trying to get her to relax so it doesn't cause harm to the babies."

That punched me in the gut. My babies… She was right. Walking over to side of the bed, I pulled Bella's face between my hands and looked her deep in the eyes.

"Baby, you're going to have to calm down. It can hurt the babies if you don't."

Her eyes widened, and then I watched as they filled with tears. "Okay, Fancy. Okay."

She took a long, deep breath and I could feel some of the tension fall away. "I just wanna be married. We were supposed to be married."

I leaned down and kissed her softly. "Sweetheart, we are. In all the ways that matter, right? We had a wedding, right? We'll say our I do's as soon as we can, but the most important thing right now is the babies. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you, okay."

"Is the guy comin' with some drugs? I really want somethin' to dope me up. This shit ain't fun, Fancy. I need some help."

I chuckled. "I thought you girls out here didn't do drugs."

She narrowed her eyes. "I ain't a girl from out here no more. You softened me up, and now I want some God damn drugs. I feel like my cooter is gonna to pop open like a volcano any minute. It hurts everywhere!"

Yikes. That shit did not sound good at all. A vivid picture popped up in my head and I cringed, giving a quick glance down at her… _area._

"Don't look at it, you fuckin' ass. You ain't gonna wanna have the sex with it anymore, well, that's fine by me. You can go poke a hole in the wall for all I care. I ain't lettin' you put any more of your demon babies in me anyway!"

"Bella," I sighed. "Baby, you'll be just perfect. Everything will be just fine."

She growled, and then tried lifting herself off the bed. "Get the fuckin' preacher, you sonofabitch. I ain't lettin' you try 'n escape me after my privates are stretched out as long as an old lady's jowl!"

I smiled. _There was my girl._ "You couldn't get rid of me if you tried, baby, and you know it. Just keep breathing like they showed us. Like this."

I sucked in an exaggerated breath, and then let it out nice and even. She started mimicking, and soon she was calming down.

"Now, listen. I'll go ask your mom if she can get the preacher to come in. Only if you calm the fuck down, though, because you're holding precious cargo in there and I don't want anything to happen to them, or you."

"I'll calm. Shit! Just make me your woman before they come. It's damn important to me, Fancy. I need to be a Cullen just like you and my girls."

There was no way to calm her down. She was so damn stubborn. I didn't figure it'd be a big deal getting the preacher to come marry us, but I didn't know how long it'd be before the babies came. I realized I hadn't paid a whole lot of attention to what was going on.

"I'm going to go out and talk to your mom, okay? Want me to send someone in to stay with you?"

She shook her head and gritted her teeth between breaths. "Just get the hell on out of here. I can't stand your face."

Well, damn.

I turned and headed into the other room, glad to finally be out of there. She was making me as crazy as I was making her.

I found her mom in the small hospital lobby with the rest of the freaks from the wedding. She was toe-to-toe with her husband, ex-husband, whatever, and she looked so much like Bella in the way she stood her ground it almost made me laugh.

Almost.

"I shoulda ripped your grapes off and thrown them to the winds when I had the chance you no good bastard," she growled. "You tryin' to mess this up for my baby girl, and I ain't having it. No way in hell."

He smiled. _Smiled_ at her while she went through her tyraid. All I knew was that he'd left them at one point, so in my eyes, he was an asshole, but you could clearly see he'd been stung by the same magic I'd been zapped with. There was something about those crazy broads you'd never get out of your blood. Ever.

"Nay-Nay," I said behind her. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

She turned, glaring. "What the hell you want, boy? Can't you see I'm busy dealing with this drunk dickbag?"

My eyes popped open and I shook my head and held my hands up in defense. "Hey, Bella sent me out here. Did you forget this is her damn wedding day, and the fact that she's in there about to have her babies?"

I was pissed. It was one thing for these people to be weird, but this was important and I didn't give two fucks about her and the fat ass she was yelling at.

"Oh," she said. "Shit, boy, why didn't you say so? She ready? They comin'?"

I took a deep breath and felt my knees shake. I was about to be a father—and I had no idea what to do.

"She's freaking out. She insists we get married before she delivers. She's adamant."

Her brow furrowed. "That's what they call it now? She's all opened up?"

"Huh?"

They all spoke freaking gibberish.

"Her birth canal. It's open and ready for them babies to come. It's okay, darlin'. They'll just slide right on out of there. Bella shot out like a little wet seal."

I cringed. "Fuck, Nay… can you just—can we not talk about her? She needs the damn preacher or minister or whatever the hell he's called. Get the dude to come to her room and marry us!"

"Damn right yer gonna marry her. My girl's smart. She ain't gonna get stuck raisin' up no damn kids by herself. We'll nail yer ass for that baby support."

I looked over Nay-Nay's shoulder and scowled at the rat bastard. "You need to leave before these babies come into the world, because once they do, all bets are off. I will fuck you up old man."

He chuckled, but when I lunged at him, he took me seriously. "I'll leave, but I'll be back to see my grandbabies. Them girls are my life."

I laughed under my breath and looked down at Nay-Nay. She shook her head.

"You just let me deal with this wind bag. He'll be gone faster than you can say restraining order."

I didn't wait around to see what happened between them next. I had a wife—or soon to be wife—to contend with and babies to deliver. They could all kill each other for all I cared. Everything had just gotten way out of hand, and I didn't give one shit about any of them.

I could still hear Bella screaming at everyone, but steeled myself and went inside.

She was bright red, hair in tangles, and still strapped to the table. The only thing that had changed was the position of her legs. They'd put her into some apparatus with her feet in the air and her hips spread and I almost passed out.

"Did you do what I asked you to do, or am I gonna have to get up on outta this bed and do every damn thing my damn self?" she snapped.

I bit my tongue. She looked uncomfortable and in a lot of pain and I didn't want to fight. We were about to welcome our daughters, and it didn't feel right having the first thing they heard as they came into the world being their mother talking about mutilating my nuts.

"She's getting him, baby. You doing okay?"

I went toward her, slowly, and smiled as reassuringly as possible. It was like walking up on a rabid dog, so I pressed my hand against my crotch and leaned over to kiss the top of her head when I reached her.

"I'm bein' ripped right in half! This ain't right, Fancy. There's gotta be an easier way to get these babies outta there. My poor hoo-ha can't take all this."

I groaned. "Bella, you're body knows what to do. It'll make way for them, remember? The doctor told you everything would be fine."

She shot me a deadly look and I swear to Christ her eyes were bright devil red. "He ain't here is he? Rotton fuckin' doctors and liars and men and their good for nothin' damn balls. All full of good ideas, ain't ya? You and them balls full of babies."

I couldn't help it—I laughed. "The shit you say," I said through my laughter. "You're fucking nuts. Just shut up and work on getting those babies out and leave my balls out of it!"

"Real funny," she murmered. "Just wait 'til I can stand. I'll kick those things up into your throat."

I gulped.

"Shhh," I whispered. "You're getting all excited and that's not good. Breath soft and slow. Let's do this together while we wait for the doctor. Did they come with your medicine?"

She shook her head while she breathed. "Not yet. I think Alice got lost or somethin'."

I squinted toward the door. That broad probably ran for the damn hills. I couldn't blame her—shit was scary in that hospital room.

"I'll see if I can find someone, okay?"

I kissed her one more time and pried her claw off my arm before heading back out into the ramshackled hospital to find a doctor, or at the very least, someone with some tranquilizers to knock her the hell out.

Nay-Nay waved me over and thankfully, she'd managed to get rid of Bella's dad. I wasn't a big fan of Chuck, and I hadn't been talking shit when I said I would kick his ass. I was ready to do that and more. He was a dead man as far as I was concerned.

"Did you get in touch with the dude from the church?" I asked.

She frowned and then bit her lip. "He's here, but he said he won't marry y'all while she's in this state. Said he ain't sure she's able to make that decision while she's mad."

"Are you serious?" I hissed. "We'd all but gotten married before her water broke! Five more minutes and we'd be man and wife, and now he has issues?"

She shrugged and looked over her shoulder. "Listen—I think y'all might be able to convince him yer serious if you give a little cash. Like a donation—to the church, of course."

I rolled my eyes. "What a piece of shit. Fine—tell him I'll give him whatever he wants. Where's my dad?"

I was out of cash on hand—hadn't been prepared to pay off the whole fucking country on my wedding day and I'd run out of pockets in my tux. Everything was such a clusterfuck, I had no idea how I was going to get through the day.

"I seen him over there with yer mama. I can get him for ya."

I held my hand up and shook my head. "Not a good idea, Nay-Nay. Go get your crooked ass minister and meet me in Bella's room. And hurry the fuck up. She's about to have these babies any minute."

She nodded and took off, and I went to find my dad and beg for some cash so I could finally marry Bella before she blew a gasket.

Once I took care of that—and no, he wasn't happy—I went back to Bella to check on her progress. I promised myself it was the last time I'd leave her until my babies arrived. The second we found out she was pregnant, I promised I would be there for her, and I meant to do just that.

When I walked into the room, it was a totally different scene that it was when I left. The crazy looking old lady—apparently the midwife—was there, head ducked between Bella's legs and another old lady stood next to her, situating things on a rolling table.

"Well, 'bout damn time. Almost missed the birth. We're 'bout to bring these babies on out."

I looked at Bella for confirmation and she nodded, a lazy smile on her face.

"You ready for some babies, Fancy? It's time."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, her face crumbled and she let out the scariest noise I'd ever heard a human being make.

"Thatta girl, bear down and push."

She grunted and growled and her face looked like a squished cherry tomato. I ran to her side, took her hand and mumbled a bunch of reassuring shit I wasn't sure I even believed. I'd never been more frightened—ever.

"Oh, here's her head. Keep going, mama. Get them shoulders out and this baby is gonna slide right out."

I gulped and looked down at Bella. She was concentrating, pushing like a champ and I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"Wanna take a look, Daddy? Here comes yer daughter."

I couldn't move. I gripped Bella's hand tighter and shook my head. Not yet. I didn't know what to do. What the fuck did I do? Hold it? Feed it? Clean it? What?

And then there was a sharp, piercing scream and the scrappy old woman held up the ugliest slimy thing I'd ever seen.

My baby.

"Oh," Bella cried. "I did it."

"Ehh ehh ehh. No time for celebratin' yet, darlin'. We got another on the way. Keep goin'."

It was minutes—maybe five, maybe fifteen, maybe more, and then there was another. And then, later, another.

Time was warped. I was shocked, in shock.

Three. Three daughters. Babies. Mine.

"Ain't they perfect, Fancy? They are, aren't they?"

I wasn't sure. All I saw was squishy flesh and two little old ladies rushing around with towels and clothes and I was still in shock.

Shock.

"The first one we're callin' Dreamy. Then Daisie, and then Dixie. Dixie is the baby girl, don't you think, Fancy?"

I didn't know. I couldn't take my eyes off of them.

Three.

Three

3

Three fucking daughters.

I was in deep shit.

Or cursed.

Or blessed.

I still didn't know. I couldn't breathe, or blink, or form a thought in my head.

Three. I had three babies.

And Bella.


End file.
